Enhancing Your Day With Mindful Driving

I used to be in such a hurry when I drove. Always rushing towards the next destination and not mindful of where I was at that moment. Now, I don’t even speed and I always arrive exactly when I’m supposed to, never early and never late.

Most Americans own a car. And it is in this box we seem to find ourselves spending a significant portion of our day commuting to work, school, to a grocery store, or some other necessary destination. If you’ve been driving for years, you’ve more likely become numb to many aspects of your car, the road, and the entire driving experience as a whole. 

We find our keys, unlock the door, turn on the ignition, the radio is already on from our previous excursion, put the shifter in D and go without as much as a second thought as to what mindful experience we’re missing.

So how may we embrace mindfulness into our driving to make it more a part of our being? Like most activities we undertake the experience begins before the actual event.

With driving we may begin with the time available to arrive at our destination. Did you wake up late and are rushing or do you have enough time to account for a delay? If you’re short on time you may begin to feel anxious whereas if you have plenty of time the experience will be more enjoyable.

Do you remember where your keys are? Be diligent about where you place your keys after each return. Searching frantically for them when you left them in yesterdays coat pocket removes from the enjoyable driving experience you’re about to make.

Walk leisurely towards your car. Look at the sky, breathe deeply and smell the air, feel the temperature on your skin. Take note for any flat tires or anything else that may prove hazardous for your drive.

As you sit in the driver’s seat, feel yourself being gently cradled. Are the seats leather or cloth? Are they warm or cold? When you fasten your seatbelt how does the click sound? You may not need to adjust your mirrors if you were the last to operate this vehicle but it’s a good practice to check. 

Keep the radio off for the entire drive. Although music is certainly enjoyable during today’s commute you’ll really be practicing driving mindfully. It it’s a nice day, open the window slightly. No air conditioner. Don’t speed either, not even by one mile per hour or KPH. Doing these little steps will help develop patience and awareness to where you are in this present moment.

As you drive, with both hands on the wheel, feel the road. Are there bumps or is it smooth. Just like life, there are smooth patches, areas of roughness, and even the occasional pothole.

Look at the other motorists. Are they speeding by you? Let them. Does it make you feel a little awkward? Ask yourself why.

Like the other motorists, you have a destination that you’re traveling too. But your destination isn’t the same as theirs. And in fact, your destination isn’t the ‘destination’ you’re truly journeying towards, is it? 

I wish you peace and ease, 

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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How To Tell If Your Mindfulness Practice Is Working

How do you know that mindfulness is working for you? Are there signs that come right out and say ‘now that my friend was mindfulness’?

I doubt there is such an obvious signal such as this.

So how may we tell that our practice is working for us?

There are several ways in which I think illustrate the effectives of your practice. The first is how you deal with a crisis.

The Buddha once asked an attendant of his to fetch him some cool water to drink. The dutiful attendant found a creek nearby to fill his vessel. 

However, at the same time an oxcart drove through this creek and muddied the water making it undrinkable. The attendant waited for the mud to settle before filling the drinking vessel.

The attendant related to the Buddha as to why it took him such a loving time to return, and the Buddha replied ‘A disturbed mind is the same as muddy water. With time the mud will settle, and we get clear water. And to get the clear water you didn’t have to do anything and only needed patience’.

In times of stress many people panic. Panic leads to frantic action, disorganized and counterproductive thoughts, stress and anxiety about potential or uncertain outcomes, and often to an even more undesirable outcome. Mindfulness and meditation allow one to foster and develop a sense of balance and calmness allowing one to act with care and attention. It is only when our mind is settled, we have clarity of thought.

At this time, I invite you to reflect upon a past time of crisis or high stress and reflect upon how you handled it. Was it with calmness or was it with agitation?

But what about something that is more of an everyday occurrence, like a relationship?

Often when we’re younger we seek someone that offers us something we ‘think’ we’re needing or lacking. It could be someone with an exciting hair style, a certain personality, or they could be the ‘dangerous or exciting’ person that we know our family with disapprove of. Perhaps we feel we may even be able to ‘fix’ them.

But when we look at ourselves with mindful introspection as we age what do we see? Very often we see (hopefully) harmless youthful mistakes and adventures.

But consider where you are now. Have you left those cravings and desires behind, or have you substituted one for another?

For example, perhaps as a teen you liked the boy with the motorcycle or the one in a garage band. You though he improved your image giving you a rough edge, his friends were completely different than yours, and maybe he was several years older than you.

But now in your thirties or forties you find excitement from someone who works hard spending many hours at the office but is never home to nurture your wellbeing. You find creative ways to entice them but the response is seldom acknowledged in a meaningful way. Are you able to ‘fix’ them?

More likely though we begin to view life with more awareness and don’t seek the excitement of youth. We understand that those times served their purpose but have now passed. With our mindful practice we see more clearly, less muddied water if you will, the value of balance and calmness.

So again, how may we tell of our mindfulness practice is working? It’s working when we realize we have awareness of the present moment and welcoming in whatever we’re experience with balance an calm.

 

I wish you peace and ease, 

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Facebook

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The Three Jewels of Buddhism

In Buddhism there are what as known as ‘The Three Jewels’ and each of these jewels represents a wonderful place of refuge. Remember, as the Buddha revealed to us in the Four Noble Truths, life will constitute moments of suffering or displeasure or unhappiness. And a refuge is a place where way may seek sanctuary or safety during these, and any other moments for that matter, of our lives.

The Three Jewels are: The Buddha, The Dharma, and The Sangha.

But what do they mean? How may we meaningfully incorporate them into our lives?

Let’s first examine what they mean.

The Buddha is simple the historical figure you’re probably already familiar with, much like Jesus in Christianity. However, unlike Jesus, Buddha was a man exactly like you and me. We recognize Buddha as the enlightened one who discovered the path to liberation form cravings and clinging by leaving his princely life to one of self-discovery.

The Dharma are what we consider the Buddhas teachings. The three main teachings consist of The Four Noble Truths, The Noble Eightfold Path, and the Dhammapada, however there are a number of stories illustrating his wisdom and kindness. When you examine the Dharma you see the common themes of mindfulness, kindness and ethical conduct throughout. The Dharma is often represented by an eight spoked wheel.

The Sangha is the spiritual group or community of Buddhists, much like a congregation is to a church. The Sangha is an important part of the spiritual community because it’s where we may learn from others who may be more advanced than we are but also from each other. Some examples of a Sangha are those living the monastic life, laypeople gathering to practice, or even viewers watching a talk on YouTube. The interpretation of a Sangha is all inclusive if you like.

So how do we incorporate the Three Jewels into our daily practice?

For me, I recite the following during my morning meditations.

I take refuge in the Buddha and the Buddha takes refuge in me.

I take refuge in the Dharma and the Dharma takes refuge in me.

I take refuge in the Sangha and the Sangha takes refuge in me.

Notice the second part, the phrase ‘takes refuge in me’. This is an important part of Buddhism; we are not separate from life; we are not separate from each other. This is a concept known as interbeing and as we take refuge in one of the jewels that jewel takes refuge in us.

So we may also think of these recitations as:

As I sit with the Buddha, the Buddha sits with me.

As I sit with the Dharma, the Dharma sits with me.

As I sit with the Sangha, the Sangha sits with me.

To me, this understanding, this connection to all life, is what makes Buddhism special to me. We are not dominate over anyone nor are we subservient to anyone; we are all precious and worthy. And in knowing this how can we be mean or cruel to one another?

With that, I invite you to explore this question more in-depth. I think you’ll find the answers liberating.

I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

Being Honest With Yourself In Light Of Criticism.

How do we know when other who offer us suggestions for improvement are sincere? We sometime ignore other people’s comments and categorize them as ‘what do they know’, ‘mind your business’, or ‘did I ask for your opinion’.

True, sometimes people talk just to talk and offer their wisdom or thoughts on even the most trivial of matters. A lot of advice or suggestions may come from a well-intended place but often lack the depth to be truly meaningful. 

The Buddha was once quoted as saying’ “Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind, so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame.”

 Unshaken doesn’t mean to ignore or get agitated to what someone may have said to us but instead, perhaps offers us a moment to pause and consider our action or behavior. It is to remove ego from our introspection and to look at the intent of what was stated to us.

For example, a guest at a wedding makes the comment that the brides’ hair should be down instead of up and that her hair stylist made her look unattractive on her special day. Is this a necessary comment? Not at all. It’s an unnecessary opinion that has no bearing on either party and the critique is superficial. Consider how the bride or the hair stylist would feel if either one had heard this comment. Their feelings would be hurt.

Now consider another example, as you light up a cigarette after dinner, a dear loved one kindly and with calmness, reminds you that smoking is unhealthy. Of course, you are aware of the health hazards of smoking by now but continue to do so. Do you get angry when this loved one shows concern for your wellbeing?

Perhaps. But when you search inside and remove your ego, you know that you’re not angry with them but instead are upset with yourself.

In any situation, praise or blame, there’s no need to get arrogant, haughty, angry, ashamed, or embarrassed. Instead, be unshakable. In the smoking example, know that this gentle observation was done with love and care for you. Remember, shame and quilt are controlling behaviors.

No matter what you do in life you will encounter both supporters as well as detractors. And supporters and detractors may come from family, friends, or even total strangers. 

There are a lot of examples that could be put in place here instead of a wedding or smoking but the important understanding is when do we need to be honest with ourselves and connect with who we truly are.

Being honest with ourselves is the same as being nonjudgmentally aware of our present surroundings, the essence of mindfulness. And to promote and foster this awareness we begin by returning to our breath.

Breathing in, I know ego is a thin skin easily bruised. Breathing out, I release quilt and walk with gratitude. 

With this simple, yet introspective, mantra we understand that ego is nothing more than a thin barrier to understanding who we truly are within. 

The face you see in the mirror is only a shell, the most recent iteration, of your essence. And when we recognize ego for what it is we may let go of the guilt we may carry thereby walking with gratitude.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Shoveling and Driving In The Snow: A Mindful Perspective

 Promoting Wellbeing In Any Circumstance

I live in Minnesota and if you are unfamiliar with what our weather is like in the winter you may be assured it is cold. And snowy. Our temperatures do hover around the -20 C (-4 F) during this time but often get lower and on occasion in the low positives. As you may imagine the state is well prepared to handle what mother nature offers during this season. An abundance of snowplows and road salt and sand are not in short supply. The state does a well enough job to be sure of.

Our driveways, well those are a different story. That task is up to us.

Overnight we were gifted by nature about 35 cm (14 in) of snow. The snow is continuing as I write this too. I have always enjoyed the snow and still do to this day. Ever since I was a young boy, I would always be outside with my friends playing in it. From sledding down a nearby hill, to making snow forts, to snowball fights. I did not easily give in to the cold back then.

The snow was no surprise, it had been forecasted for several days. Looking outside it was a perfect winter landscape, almost like a Bob Ross painting. So peaceful. Very serene. It did not want to be disturbed.

But as with significant amount of snow it is necessary to shovel and clear your driveway. After my morning coffee and breakfast, it was time to begin.

At first glance the amount of snow may seem insurmountable.

But to think that way would be to water the seeds of negativity. It is not Right Thought.

Instead, I choose to view this important task with mindfulness and love.

When we are faced with a task that oftentimes may seem to be hard, time consuming, or cumbersome, we are given a wonderful choice.

We may face shoveling with negativity, “Ugh, I hate the snow and I hate the cold. And I hate shoveling snow’.

Or we may face shoveling with positivity, “How fortunate I am to be outside and how pretty the snow is but I need to remove it from the driveway for my family’s safety in case of an emergency’.

Whatever choice you chose is up to you but with either decision you still must shovel snow.

If you choose the negative mindset, you are more likely to not engage the task with mindfulness and the final product is sloppy.

This would not be Right Though and continuing with this mindset waters thoughts and emotions like criticism and anger. You are not truly living in the present moment because you are busy chastising nature rushing a necessary task.

Whereas if you view this action with positivity, you are cultivating Right Thought and the nurturing thought and emotions such as joyfulness, awareness, and love. You are living in the present moment and completing the task with mindfulness.

The same awareness can be brought to when it comes to driving in the snow. First, you do want to make sure conditions such as visibility are sufficient or that roads are not too icy. Again, you have two options, you can view this as a negative which does not promote wellbeing. Or as a positive which does promote wellbeing. And that is the beauty of what we are offered in life, choice.

And that is also the beauty in what we offer ourselves.

 

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

What We Teach Our Children About Emotions

Promoting Emotional Wellbeing In Children 

I recently read a meme on Facebook, as I’m sure many of us do, that read something like this ‘I act strong for my children but when I’m alone I’m scared and want to cry’. And that got me thinking about how we as parents try to protect our children from any concerns, fears, or uncertainties we may have as parents. After all, as parents we are supposed to have the answers, offer stability, and provide guidance. 

But if we look at this action through mindfulness, we see that this very act of love and protection towards our children may in fact be the opposite of what is best for their development.

Why is that and what do I mean be this?

As mindfulness practitioners we know that feelings come, we invite them to sit with us, and then after a short time, we let them go. We know and understand that fear is living in the future and anxiety is the desire to control a situation. We cannot live in the future, nor may we control every aspect of a situation. We are not being accepting of what is being offered. Remember that ‘accepting’ is not ‘giving up’ but more of an acknowledgment of the circumstances. We may still work towards a more balanced path forward.

The detrimental aspect of our ‘protective’ actions is that this teaches our children that our emotions are shameful and need to be hidden, even from those we love. If you recall from some of my earlier posts and videos, we know that shame is a controlling behavior and does not promote wellbeing. Try to recall your emotions from a situation in your life where you felt the need to hide an action due to shame. As a result, hiding does not teach our children how to handle these new feeling and emotions that they are experiencing, many for the first time, appropriately. This may lead to emotional immaturity as they get older.

As a mindfulness instructor I see this result on a steady basis, adults not knowing how to handle difficult emotions with compassion and care. As a result, many of these adults have significant negative police interactions, relationship issues, and some have substance abuse concerns as well. Mindfulness will help ease their suffering, but it takes love, compassion, empathy, and time. But it will come.

When we allow our children to see how we handle difficult situations that encompass complex or hard emotions with acceptance and loving kindness, we are truly preparing them for stability, emotional maturity, and wellbeing as they walk their path. Notice I have not said our children need to know explicit details of the situation.

These conversations are something that need to be age appropriate. But it is certainly fine to say, ‘mommy had a difficult day at work, and I am mindfully accepting the day’ or ‘daddy and mommy are having a disagreement and we are mindfully working to find balance and harmony’. No specific details were offered of the situation, but an acknowledgment of a difficult situation was given. There was no shame introduced in hiding how you were feeling.

This is teaching our children how to positively accept emotions that may at first seem uncomfortable but as time goes on and they get older they will learn to say, ‘hello fear, I see you. Thank you for visiting but it is now time to leave’.

Wishing you peace and ease,

Vladimir

How Social Norms Control Our Wellbeing

How A Pastor Released Guilt And Shame

Last week my family and I, including my in-laws from overseas, we all able to meet my mother and her husband for the first time. It was such an enjoyable experience for all of us. We rented a home in Florida for four-days along the Gulf of Mexico. Mornings were leisurely consisting of a light breakfast of coffee, fruits and vegetables, rice, and pastries.

After breakfast we would all go to the beach and collect shells, talk, and just enjoy all the beauty that nature has provided us along the oceanside. This was also the first time my daughter met my mother, her grandmother. There were many firsts, and sadly, a few lasts as well. My wife’s parents are elderly and live overseas making this trip potentially the last. This is a mindful moment.

One evening while we sat at the dinner table having coffee and dessert, my mother who also is Buddhist, began to relate to me the first time she went to the Thai temple in the late 1980s. She told me how different it was than what she has experienced at a Christian or Catholic Church. All the different ornamentations throughout, smells of incense burning, and even set-up of the hall was not like she had ever experienced. Overall, it was certainly an enjoyable experience.

But the revealing aspect to this entire experience was how she felt afterwards, a little guilty and a little shameful for going ‘against’ Christianity. How was she supposed to reconcile participating in a non-Judaic-Christian religious service? And that’s where a Pastor came in to help ease her mind.

At the hospital where she worked as an ICU nurse, she ran into the hospitals pastor where she began to relate this experience and her current dilemma regarding her feelings. The kind pastor, with a warm and inviting smile, said to her ‘out of all of the religions out there, Buddhism practices love, kindness, empathy, and compassion towards all beings and is in no way against what Christianity’s message promotes’. There was nothing for her to wrestle within her mind now. This too is a mindful moment. 

But what I’d like for you to consider from this story is one of how society, and that may be any society, uses social norms to keep people behaving in a certain, safe, and predictable way. And that if you stray too far from what is acceptable, feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness begin to form and be watered. 

As I’ve talked about before in posts and during my Dharma livestreams, guilt and shame are controlling behaviors because we’ve conducted ourselves in some fashion outside of what is expected of us. And that conduct doesn’t even need to be harmful to others or ourselves to allow these feeling to begin grow.

When we live and follow the Noble Eightfold Path the Buddha has laid out for us, we know that our actions and thoughts are wholesome and positive right from our very intention. So it's important to be aware of when were feeling these controlling emotions. Recognize when we’re feeling them and say to them ‘I see you guilt’, ‘I see you shame’. Thank them for their brief visit and let them go. This too is a mindful moment.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.