Moving Out Of Your Mind Swamp

Life will always happen around us and to us. 

Whether it’s a fortuitous event like an unexpected handwritten letter from a dear friend, a neutral event like you’re sitting on a bus on your way to work, or one that may have significant negative implications like receiving some dreadful news about a loved one.

Negative events seem to have a more lasting impact on our wellbeing than the positive or neutral circumstances. And if we allow ourselves to live in those moments too long they too can bloom into lasting anxiety, despair, and hopelessness.

When we dwell in the negative we are giving ourselves permission to be unkind to our being.

It’s not that you are not allowed to feel sad for a friend or sad for yourself at times. You are and these are normal emotions and it is why we have and experience them from time to time. But staying there too long will have an affect on your long-term wellbeing if not addressed mindfully.

If you will, recall a time when perhaps you dwelled in an unfortunate circumstance too long. Perhaps you were fired or laid off from a job. Maybe a long-term relationship was abruptly ended. Or maybe a much anticipated outcome did not come to fruition as planned. What did you do? How did your behavior change? How did it make your body feel? What thoughts were coming to mind.

Now, recalling that same instance, what brought you out of the negative mindset? You may answer friends, family, or even a vacation. If you said any of these, or something else, you’d be wrong.

 

So what then did bring you out of this negative mind-space?

It was you. No one has the power over you, that power of healing is something only you possess. No one may 'make' you feel any type of way. Your feelings are simply what 'you' give permission to or allow to bloom. No one may give you that gift other than yourself.

Sure, others may point out or list the positives within you but it is ultimately your decision to say ‘yes, the good qualities they see in me are true’. And then you, no one else, decides to embrace them.

So what made you finally move from this saddened mindset to one of moving forward?

Maybe it was the realization that you are worthy. That you are not lacking or wanting.

 

You simply realized that the suffering you were allowing yourself to sit with was not healing. You were in what I call a mind swamp. You let go of a past that was anchoring you in a place that was un-nurturing.

But now reflect on how long it took you to realize your worthiness and not remain in this mind-swamp? Was it hours, days, weeks, months, or perhaps even years?

As mindfulness practitioners we know that all things, including circumstances are impermanent. And this is an important understanding because it reveals to us that life is truly beautiful when we are aware of this impermanent quality.

 

So how may we move past our mind-swamp into someplace more nurturing?

We will look towards the Buddha for some of his insightful teachings.

One method he suggests as teaches is:

If some unskilled thoughts associated with desire, aversion or confusion arise and disturb the mind, you should attend instead to another characteristic  which is associated with what is skilled . . . It is like a skilled carpenter who can knock out a large peg with a small peg.

You simply replace the negative thought with one that is more wholesome and welcoming. This may sound simple but it can be hard because we like to hold on to what we're comfortable with, even if it's painful.  

The second method the Buddha suggests when dealing with disturbing thoughts is:

Scrutinize the peril of these unskilled thoughts by thinking: 'these are unskilled thoughts, these are thoughts that have errors, indeed these are thoughts that are of painful results . . . It is like a woman or a man, young and fond of adornment, who if the carcass of a snake or a dog were hanging around their neck would be revolted and disgusted and throw it away immediately as soon as they noticed it.

Here you recognize that these thoughts are harmful, have impacts, and will, without a doubt, perpetuate your suffering. When you are lost in your negative thoughts you will continue to justify them. Simply let them go. 

I would like to leave you with this about the power of your thoughts again from the Buddha:

The thought manifests as the word;

The word manifests as a deed;

The deed develops into habit

And habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care

And let it spring from love

Born out of concern for all beings.

Take time to reflect on these teachings and examples and see how best they may fit into your own lives.

I wish you all peace , ease, and wellbeing.

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Brightening Someone Else's Inner Light

Everyone has their own journey to walk, their own experiences to meet, their own decisions to make, their own actions to be responsible for, their own steps to take on their path. No matter what someone else encounters on their path it is not our path to walk or our decision to make. The experience is solely that individuals. 

But that doesn't mean when someone experiences times of great suffering we can't be there with them. There is no possibility that we may eliminate their suffering, we are not them, but that doesn't mean we cannot help ease their suffering. In fact, one of the most important acts a person may do for another is to demonstrate kindness. A smile. A kind word. Listening attentively. Even simply acknowledging some ones existence. These are all simple acts of kindness.

The Buddha states that in order to realize enlightenment one must have wisdom and compassion, much like two wings on a bird. Demonstrating compassion towards another not only helps to ease their suffering but also cultivates compassion and empathy within. What greater good may there be? 

Although we may never eliminate suffering in the world, we still make an effort. And it is this kind intention, the hopeful seed within, that we care for and nurture. 

People feel sad or get depressed when they experience overwhelming suffering. Feelings of hopelessness or despair begin to root within the mind and if watered depression may begin to set in.

So how do we brighten someone else's inner light? Before I offer some suggestions let's look at the primary cause of a defeated spirit, future living or expectations. 

Let's consider the following example: your best friend has worked very hard at her company for several years, always show up to work and her work is high quality. Maybe she even gets yearly performance raises. The company posts a new management position and she feels she's ideal for. You both practice interviewing techniques. She interviews and all goes well only to find out that someone junior to her was offered the position. She relates to you that she feels defeated and wonder why she's worked so hard for a company only to be rejected.

As a mindfulness practitioner you examine her feelings nonjudgmentally and realize that her suffering comes from the expectation of a particular event outcome. The expectation, or assumption, was that she would get a promotion based on past performance, she was living in the future. Living in the future is not living in the present moment. Nor is living in the past. Living in the past or living in the future diminishes the inner light. 

So how may we help our dear friend? Here are some nurturing suggestions:

• We listen without judgment to what they say.

• We acknowledge without judgment their feelings but we do not offer advice or suggestions on what to do next time, instead only acknowledge their circumstances.

• Without judgment, we let them know that all things in life are impermanent.

• Remind them that oftentimes not getting what you want is the best that could happen.

• Let it go with grace. Holding on to the past increases suffering.    

Remember, we each are on our own path and no matter what we do we may never eliminate another's suffering, but we can ease it a bit, thus helping them walk with awareness.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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When Your Pot Is Too Small?

Knowing When You've Outgrown Your Environment

An intrigal part of our personal growth and development is recognizing when we've reached our potential in a certain environment. This environment could be a relationship, a social group, or even a career. In not holding onto a past that no longer offers warmth and development the Buddha gave a wonderful analogy that as a snake sheds its skin so too must we shed our past.

What once started off as a wonderful and loving to grow has reached its limits. It's also important to understand that this cycle of growth is normal and healthy for us. However, when we remain in these environments anxiety, unease, or perhaps even a sense of contempt may begin to manifest within. This is the unhealthy aspect of staying.

How can you recognize when your pot is becoming too small in these environments?

You may begin to develop thoughts of 'why am I still here'? 'I'm wasting my time'. Thoughts of this nature are initial signs and allowing the continued watering of these seeds of negativity perpetuates an unhappy circumstance for all parties involved.

When we are mindful of ourselves and others we know that there may be times where we have outgrown or learned all that a situation has to offer. When we come to this conclusion it's important to approach both with grace and kindness.

Like an Oak tree growing in a pot who realizes their pot is too small, there are two opportunities that we may be grateful for as we make this growth transition. The third option is least desirable as we walk along our path.

The first, being grateful to the current situation. For it is here that you learned to develop into who you are now. You have grown. This is the normal and healthy part of your growth. For example, imagine having the same mindset or views at 50 years old as you did at 20 years old. That would not be a healthy condition to exist with as one would develop conflict with peers their own age.

The second, being grateful for the new opportunity that lies ahead. You may have an idea what this is, or you may not. If this new opportunity has been thrust upon you as part of an unknown event, a layoff for example, welcome it with openness and intrigue. With the right perspective it can lead you to wonderful realizations about yourself. Both of which can lead you down a new and educational path of development.

The third option would be to remain in this limiting environment. This will not be beneficial to your personal growth and development and oftentimes is regressive or destructive towards your mental wellbeing. And just as worse you will make others suffer as your negativity will begin to show.

When the time comes to severing these ties be thankful to whomever you speak to and realize that they have learned from you as well and that this may be a challenging time for them too. We must ease suffering for all involved.

Promoting kindness in all we do, even to ourselves, is an important aspect for our own development and growth and it's a loving action to change our pot.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Where to now? A Mindful Approach To A New Year.

Approaching The New Year With Mindful Intent.

With the onset of another new year here how do we know where to go? How do we mindfully set out with positivity, self-compassion, and understanding in determining what is right for our own personal growth and development.

Many people set out to make New Year's resolutions with the intent of improving themselves from last years shortcomings. 

The very essence that someone recognizes in themselves that there is an opportunity for growth is such a beautiful realization and should be celebrated. 

Some people don't have this insight while others minimize and write it off.

After many years myself of making goals and resolutions and not achieving what I had set out to do became routine until I approached these growth opportunities with mindful appreciation.

First, consider the deep meaning of the words resolution or goal.

They're both very hard, binary, cold, and unforgiving. They're words used in a business setting and not necessarily appropriate for personal growth.

Instead, I have adopted the word 'intention'. Intention is forgiving, warm, and compassionate. If I am slightly short of what I set out to do I'm allowed to say 'I did my best'.

Whereas if you didn't meet your goal or resolution, you've failed. 

That's very hard on a person and doesn't allow for life to unfold as it will. One lesson in mindfulness is to be kind to yourself.

For example, if you set out to read 10 books this year and sometime in late summer a life event happens that alters your pattern you may find out that you've read eight. 

If you've used the word goal or resolution you've failed in what you've set out to do.

If you've used the word intention you understand that something significant happened over the course of your life and you had to make a caring adjustment. You still read eight wonderful books that you might not have read at all.

Realizing right from the beginning that our very own verbiage we chose to use sets us on a positive, uplifting path or conversely along a path that is hard, cold, and unforgiving.

Secondly, allow for flexibility. No one can see the future, not even into the very next moment. Remember impermanence? 

Impermanence is knowing that all we see, feel, and is in existence will some time in the future not exist. That includes your current state and station as well.

For example, we are still experiencing the effects of COVID and all of it's variants. In 2019 we had no foresight nor understanding as to what 2020 or 2021 would bring. Yet alone what will happen in 2022.

So to gain a more compassionate understanding, here and now, I invite you to reflect on any 'goals' or 'resolutions' that were not able to be fulfilled during those years?

Do you or did you feel that you were a 'failure'? I certainly hope not. 

As challenging as it was, and still is, you were understanding and embraced a sense of openness towards what would unfold the next day.

So in walking along your path towards your own unfolding, continue to embrace this same mindful openness and compassion with your own 2022 intentions.

Happy New Year.  

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization

Everything Is Temporary

The Only Constant Is Change

Many have experienced significant job loss or reduced hours especially during the time of COVID. If you have ordered an item online, you will have likely experienced shipping delays. No more going out to eat for the time being. Malls and department stores are closed. Store shelves are almost bare. Large gatherings are mostly prohibited, and government offices have been forced to handle business via mail.

This is a very different landscape we are all living in when compared to several months ago yet along last year.

So what does the current COVID pandemic have to do with being mindful? Mindfulness is about the non-judgmental awareness of our surroundings as well as feelings. Accepting what is happening as the current state of being. 

The time we are gifted, no matter how difficult it may be for some, allows each and everyone of us to earnestly self-reflect on what is truly important in living a mindful life. With a mindful perspective, this situation offers us a positive time for reflection and self-growth.

When we become complacent with temporary stability we do not often challenge ourselves. At this time I invite you to think back to how we describe people from the 'Greatest Generation'. People from this time were born between 1901 through the 1920s and lived through the Great Depression up to and including World War II.

But what qualities or characteristics made them so great?

Was there something innate amongst them that made them different than those of us today? All of them were present during the Great Depression, so something had to be different. Or does it? 

If you recall this period was a time of great food shortages, minimal employment opportunities were to be found, and the stock market crash of 1929 exasperated all of the social and economic situations, uncertainty was everywhere. But none the less, you are here because your great grandparents or grandparents focused on what was important to life, loving kindness and family.

They were mindful of the food they ate, the clothing they wore, and the loving time they spent with each other. They did not overindulge but instead found the necessary balance to achieve a stability and balance to enjoy what they had. And much like today, they too, lived in uncertain times.

What they practiced then was almost, and certainly unknowingly, mindfulness in a sense. They were aware of their surroundings and accepted what they had with heartfelt gratitude. 

When we understand that all things are impermanent, we do not get disappointed when situations change for what may seem for the worse. After all, we do not react the same way when things change for what may seem for the better. 

But what makes a certain change positive or negative? It is perspective. A rainy day in June would be welcome to a farmer to sustain her crops where it would be an unwelcome event to a groom on his outdoor wedding venue.

This time of uncertainty we are currently experiencing is temporary and affords us the often sought-after time to grow, time to reflect, and time to be with family. This is truly a precious time but as we have been taught by the Buddha even joyous times are temporary.

Please feel free to comment below.

Wishing you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Mindfulness and Meditation Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.