Being Honest With Yourself In Light Of Criticism.

How do we know when other who offer us suggestions for improvement are sincere? We sometime ignore other people’s comments and categorize them as ‘what do they know’, ‘mind your business’, or ‘did I ask for your opinion’.

True, sometimes people talk just to talk and offer their wisdom or thoughts on even the most trivial of matters. A lot of advice or suggestions may come from a well-intended place but often lack the depth to be truly meaningful. 

The Buddha was once quoted as saying’ “Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind, so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame.”

 Unshaken doesn’t mean to ignore or get agitated to what someone may have said to us but instead, perhaps offers us a moment to pause and consider our action or behavior. It is to remove ego from our introspection and to look at the intent of what was stated to us.

For example, a guest at a wedding makes the comment that the brides’ hair should be down instead of up and that her hair stylist made her look unattractive on her special day. Is this a necessary comment? Not at all. It’s an unnecessary opinion that has no bearing on either party and the critique is superficial. Consider how the bride or the hair stylist would feel if either one had heard this comment. Their feelings would be hurt.

Now consider another example, as you light up a cigarette after dinner, a dear loved one kindly and with calmness, reminds you that smoking is unhealthy. Of course, you are aware of the health hazards of smoking by now but continue to do so. Do you get angry when this loved one shows concern for your wellbeing?

Perhaps. But when you search inside and remove your ego, you know that you’re not angry with them but instead are upset with yourself.

In any situation, praise or blame, there’s no need to get arrogant, haughty, angry, ashamed, or embarrassed. Instead, be unshakable. In the smoking example, know that this gentle observation was done with love and care for you. Remember, shame and quilt are controlling behaviors.

No matter what you do in life you will encounter both supporters as well as detractors. And supporters and detractors may come from family, friends, or even total strangers. 

There are a lot of examples that could be put in place here instead of a wedding or smoking but the important understanding is when do we need to be honest with ourselves and connect with who we truly are.

Being honest with ourselves is the same as being nonjudgmentally aware of our present surroundings, the essence of mindfulness. And to promote and foster this awareness we begin by returning to our breath.

Breathing in, I know ego is a thin skin easily bruised. Breathing out, I release quilt and walk with gratitude. 

With this simple, yet introspective, mantra we understand that ego is nothing more than a thin barrier to understanding who we truly are within. 

The face you see in the mirror is only a shell, the most recent iteration, of your essence. And when we recognize ego for what it is we may let go of the guilt we may carry thereby walking with gratitude.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Mindfulness and Your Mantra

Mantras To Help Guide You Along Your Path

Your mantra.

Do you have one?

Do you need one?

Can you have more than one?

Originally the word mantra comes from Hinduism or Buddhism as a word or sound to aid in concentration during meditation. However in more recent times the term is used to describe a personal saying or slogan such as 'where there is a will, there is a way'. Mantras are designed to be positive, reassuring, guiding, and purposeful in their recitation.

For our purposes either definition is useful since we will use our saying or slogan during our meditations.

In Buddhism there are 108 mantras or prayers and if you count any Buddhist prayer beads, called malas or japa, around the neck you will get 108 beads. Wrist malas typically have some factor of 108.

You may be familiar with the 'om' mantra that is usually depicted in Hinduism and is considered the greatest mantra of all. However, many religions have mantras too, for example, the Hail Mary in Catholicism and the morning prayer of salat al-faj in Islam, both of which are used in much the same way.

When I do my morning meditations I recite 4 or 5 different ones. Each one is a statement on positivity and how I would like to develop myself spiritually and I am more than happy to share three of them with you.

One mantra I recite daily is "Love" and it goes like this: I am love. All of my actions are based on love. Not anger, jealousy, greed, or hatred, but on love. This mantra allows me to be sure that all of my actions are for the benefit of all living beings so that they may have ease of suffering.

Another is, 'Balance': May I maintain my equanimity and that my emotions do not swing too far or too long from center. This mantra recognizes and allows me to have and experience emotions but to not let them stay too long. When emotions stay too long they begin to take you away from the totality of the passing moments.

Finally, 'Speech': When I speak to living beings my words are positive, uplifting, constructive, and truthful. This mantra ensures that I speak purposefully and with positive intent to all living beings. many times in our society people are subjected to a barrage of negativity and it is my intent to counteract this as best I may.

I have been saying these mantras for about a year at the time of this post and it has taken some time for them to take hold into my being and to really became a part of me.

Now I find that in certain situations where I would previously make a hasty or rash decision, this mantra, or one of my others, comes to the forefront of my mind and helps me make a decision based on loving kindness.

Once you decide on a mantra or mantras, yes, you can have more than one, make sure they reflect who you want to be in the future. By reciting your mantra daily you begin to develop the positive, life-changing mindset you seek.

It will not happen overnight or in a week but perhaps in a months time or so you will begin to notice this little voice in your head that sounds like your mantra. Listen to it, it is you starting to reap the change you seek.

Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Wishing you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation And Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.