How To Tell If Your Mindfulness Practice Is Working

How do you know that mindfulness is working for you? Are there signs that come right out and say ‘now that my friend was mindfulness’?

I doubt there is such an obvious signal such as this.

So how may we tell that our practice is working for us?

There are several ways in which I think illustrate the effectives of your practice. The first is how you deal with a crisis.

The Buddha once asked an attendant of his to fetch him some cool water to drink. The dutiful attendant found a creek nearby to fill his vessel. 

However, at the same time an oxcart drove through this creek and muddied the water making it undrinkable. The attendant waited for the mud to settle before filling the drinking vessel.

The attendant related to the Buddha as to why it took him such a loving time to return, and the Buddha replied ‘A disturbed mind is the same as muddy water. With time the mud will settle, and we get clear water. And to get the clear water you didn’t have to do anything and only needed patience’.

In times of stress many people panic. Panic leads to frantic action, disorganized and counterproductive thoughts, stress and anxiety about potential or uncertain outcomes, and often to an even more undesirable outcome. Mindfulness and meditation allow one to foster and develop a sense of balance and calmness allowing one to act with care and attention. It is only when our mind is settled, we have clarity of thought.

At this time, I invite you to reflect upon a past time of crisis or high stress and reflect upon how you handled it. Was it with calmness or was it with agitation?

But what about something that is more of an everyday occurrence, like a relationship?

Often when we’re younger we seek someone that offers us something we ‘think’ we’re needing or lacking. It could be someone with an exciting hair style, a certain personality, or they could be the ‘dangerous or exciting’ person that we know our family with disapprove of. Perhaps we feel we may even be able to ‘fix’ them.

But when we look at ourselves with mindful introspection as we age what do we see? Very often we see (hopefully) harmless youthful mistakes and adventures.

But consider where you are now. Have you left those cravings and desires behind, or have you substituted one for another?

For example, perhaps as a teen you liked the boy with the motorcycle or the one in a garage band. You though he improved your image giving you a rough edge, his friends were completely different than yours, and maybe he was several years older than you.

But now in your thirties or forties you find excitement from someone who works hard spending many hours at the office but is never home to nurture your wellbeing. You find creative ways to entice them but the response is seldom acknowledged in a meaningful way. Are you able to ‘fix’ them?

More likely though we begin to view life with more awareness and don’t seek the excitement of youth. We understand that those times served their purpose but have now passed. With our mindful practice we see more clearly, less muddied water if you will, the value of balance and calmness.

So again, how may we tell of our mindfulness practice is working? It’s working when we realize we have awareness of the present moment and welcoming in whatever we’re experience with balance an calm.

 

I wish you peace and ease, 

Vladimir

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The Three Jewels of Buddhism

In Buddhism there are what as known as ‘The Three Jewels’ and each of these jewels represents a wonderful place of refuge. Remember, as the Buddha revealed to us in the Four Noble Truths, life will constitute moments of suffering or displeasure or unhappiness. And a refuge is a place where way may seek sanctuary or safety during these, and any other moments for that matter, of our lives.

The Three Jewels are: The Buddha, The Dharma, and The Sangha.

But what do they mean? How may we meaningfully incorporate them into our lives?

Let’s first examine what they mean.

The Buddha is simple the historical figure you’re probably already familiar with, much like Jesus in Christianity. However, unlike Jesus, Buddha was a man exactly like you and me. We recognize Buddha as the enlightened one who discovered the path to liberation form cravings and clinging by leaving his princely life to one of self-discovery.

The Dharma are what we consider the Buddhas teachings. The three main teachings consist of The Four Noble Truths, The Noble Eightfold Path, and the Dhammapada, however there are a number of stories illustrating his wisdom and kindness. When you examine the Dharma you see the common themes of mindfulness, kindness and ethical conduct throughout. The Dharma is often represented by an eight spoked wheel.

The Sangha is the spiritual group or community of Buddhists, much like a congregation is to a church. The Sangha is an important part of the spiritual community because it’s where we may learn from others who may be more advanced than we are but also from each other. Some examples of a Sangha are those living the monastic life, laypeople gathering to practice, or even viewers watching a talk on YouTube. The interpretation of a Sangha is all inclusive if you like.

So how do we incorporate the Three Jewels into our daily practice?

For me, I recite the following during my morning meditations.

I take refuge in the Buddha and the Buddha takes refuge in me.

I take refuge in the Dharma and the Dharma takes refuge in me.

I take refuge in the Sangha and the Sangha takes refuge in me.

Notice the second part, the phrase ‘takes refuge in me’. This is an important part of Buddhism; we are not separate from life; we are not separate from each other. This is a concept known as interbeing and as we take refuge in one of the jewels that jewel takes refuge in us.

So we may also think of these recitations as:

As I sit with the Buddha, the Buddha sits with me.

As I sit with the Dharma, the Dharma sits with me.

As I sit with the Sangha, the Sangha sits with me.

To me, this understanding, this connection to all life, is what makes Buddhism special to me. We are not dominate over anyone nor are we subservient to anyone; we are all precious and worthy. And in knowing this how can we be mean or cruel to one another?

With that, I invite you to explore this question more in-depth. I think you’ll find the answers liberating.

I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

Being Honest With Yourself In Light Of Criticism.

How do we know when other who offer us suggestions for improvement are sincere? We sometime ignore other people’s comments and categorize them as ‘what do they know’, ‘mind your business’, or ‘did I ask for your opinion’.

True, sometimes people talk just to talk and offer their wisdom or thoughts on even the most trivial of matters. A lot of advice or suggestions may come from a well-intended place but often lack the depth to be truly meaningful. 

The Buddha was once quoted as saying’ “Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind, so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame.”

 Unshaken doesn’t mean to ignore or get agitated to what someone may have said to us but instead, perhaps offers us a moment to pause and consider our action or behavior. It is to remove ego from our introspection and to look at the intent of what was stated to us.

For example, a guest at a wedding makes the comment that the brides’ hair should be down instead of up and that her hair stylist made her look unattractive on her special day. Is this a necessary comment? Not at all. It’s an unnecessary opinion that has no bearing on either party and the critique is superficial. Consider how the bride or the hair stylist would feel if either one had heard this comment. Their feelings would be hurt.

Now consider another example, as you light up a cigarette after dinner, a dear loved one kindly and with calmness, reminds you that smoking is unhealthy. Of course, you are aware of the health hazards of smoking by now but continue to do so. Do you get angry when this loved one shows concern for your wellbeing?

Perhaps. But when you search inside and remove your ego, you know that you’re not angry with them but instead are upset with yourself.

In any situation, praise or blame, there’s no need to get arrogant, haughty, angry, ashamed, or embarrassed. Instead, be unshakable. In the smoking example, know that this gentle observation was done with love and care for you. Remember, shame and quilt are controlling behaviors.

No matter what you do in life you will encounter both supporters as well as detractors. And supporters and detractors may come from family, friends, or even total strangers. 

There are a lot of examples that could be put in place here instead of a wedding or smoking but the important understanding is when do we need to be honest with ourselves and connect with who we truly are.

Being honest with ourselves is the same as being nonjudgmentally aware of our present surroundings, the essence of mindfulness. And to promote and foster this awareness we begin by returning to our breath.

Breathing in, I know ego is a thin skin easily bruised. Breathing out, I release quilt and walk with gratitude. 

With this simple, yet introspective, mantra we understand that ego is nothing more than a thin barrier to understanding who we truly are within. 

The face you see in the mirror is only a shell, the most recent iteration, of your essence. And when we recognize ego for what it is we may let go of the guilt we may carry thereby walking with gratitude.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir