Interacting Mindfully With Difficult Colleagues

No one wants to suffer. We all seek to have a more balanced and harmonious life with ourselves, others, and our surroundings. One environment people tend to spend a significant time in is at their workplace. While there we often see posters or pictures or even coffee mug slogans from people who proclaim this harmonious desire yet their daily actions suggest quite the opposite.

Like any illness, when someone is suffering, symptoms present themselves in a manor of ways. Since we often spend a significant amount of time in a work environment one may experience firsthand some of these symptoms that may, if not addressed with compassion and empathy, will affect office dynamics in a negative way. 

People will, on occasion, have a 'bad day' which may impact interactions temporarily. But what about the the employee who is continually difficult not only in meetings but even around the watercooler?

One, no matter how intimate they are with another, will never truly know what another is thinking or feeling. We will never know what is going on is someone else's homelife. Therefor it is always important to treat everyone we encounter with kindness.

Difficult behavior often presents itself as rudeness, arrogance, the 'one upper', bluntness, pettiness, anger, sarcastic, short temperedness, and even impatient towards others. There are certainly many root causes, too many to include here but all have the same solution.

Anger is not cured with anger. Rudeness is not remedied with rudeness. Impatience is not treated with impatience. All of these harmful conditions may simply be treated with lovingkindness.

We would never treat an illness with another type of illness, simply put one does not treat pneumonia with the flu virus. Continuing the suffering of another living being does not promote healing for that being.

When we experience hurt from our difficult colleague our action could be one of embracing warmth. Let them know that you 'see' them and that you 'hear' them. You are not required to agree or to disagree with their statement but just the simple acknowledgment of the statement is enough. Let them know that you are open to warmly and with mindful intent listen to their concerns. Sit with them at lunch. Perhaps even buy a raffle ticket or magazine subscription that supports their child's activities. Offer them praise when a job is well done, no matter how small the job was. 

As with all changes, they typically do not occur overnight. Recall your mindfulness journey as an example. When we simply listen to and acknowledge another being for their worth, their presence, and their effort, new seeds will begin to root and eventually blossom given the proper nurturing environment. You have the opportunity to be the warm sunshine, the thirst quenching water, or the fertile soil, or yes, possibly all three to this suffering being.

We all have something to teach and we all have something to learn from someone else. And these gifts may never be truly realized if kept sequestered under the vail of suffering. 

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Facebook

Instagram 

AmazonSmile

Mindfulness, Schools, and Our Children’s Mental Wellbeing

Incorporating A Safe Space For Our Children

There was a TicTok video circulating recently calling for violence in our schools across our society. Although law enforcement determined this to be a non-credible threat many parents chose to keep their children home. Some schools even closed. My daughter text me to come pick her up early due to her not feeling safe in her school, regardless of the additional police presence.

This text message and ensuing conversation with her caused me to pause and reflect not only on this type of situation that has become an all-too-common occurrence but to many other forms of anxiety and fear within our school system. 

Setting these types of gross violent incidents aside for a moment, consider how often our children experience bullying, ridicule, and instances of ostracizing on a daily basis.

These non-newsworthy actions result in feelings of anxiety and fear in a child in a place that is designed to enrich our young peoples lives.

When we think about our children being bullied we often neglect the ‘bully’ themselves. But they too are victims of fear, violence, ridicule, and anxiety, more likely as a result of some form of trauma at home. 

So here too, a child’s home, is a place that is supposed to be supportive, comforting, and safe for a them but yet it isn’t.

So where is a young person, a child, supposed to feel safe during their day if needed?

Think about a location where you would want to retreat to in these circumstances and what you find comforting, relaxing, non-judgmental, and safe.

During my reflection a thought entered my mind. A room with no tables, no chairs, no aromas, but only soft, clean, and inviting cushions to sit on, and low, and soft, ambient lighting. A room of tranquility.

Notice I make no mention of sounds or aromas. This is deliberate because sounds and aromas may trigger the memory of trauma which is what we’re trying to avoid in this room.

Imagine if this type of room were readily available at all times during the school day. Who could potentially use this type of safe space?

I’m sure we can picture a child who is bullied in this room but what about the ‘popular’ girl or boy who is being sexually molested that we have no idea about. Or perhaps it’s the child who is unassuming, who avoids attention because they don’t cause trouble but yet they feel alone inside with screams of pain well hidden from all.

People need a retreat, a safe space, somewhere to regain their balance. A room of tranquility has the potential to offer this to some child in need.

A room of tranquility doesn’t need to be staffed with a mental health professional. It could be staffed with a teacher, an administrator, a priest, a rabbi, a volunteer senior citizen. The only requirement needed is non-judgmental listening if needed and no offerings of advice or suggestions.

Maybe this is the room where a student realizes that their life has value. Maybe this is the room where a student reaches out to a trusted adult to let them know what is happening at home. Maybe this is the room where a student realizes that committing an act of violence in their school will only cause more suffering.

Something to consider, don’t you think?
 

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.