Showing posts with label Right Mindfulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Right Mindfulness. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 3, 2023

How To Love One Another With Purpose

Learning how to love one another is vital to cultivating a healthy outlook on life as well as fostering a warm, caring society. 

Hugging

Here are some of my mindful ways to help nourish love for self and others. In other words, watering your Dharma Heart:

  • Listen non-judgmentally to those speaking.
  • Speak or respond gently.
  • Help when you can. 
  • Smile at someone you know.
  • Smile at someone you don't know.
  • Smile at yourself.
  • Talk with your neighbors.
  • Don't judge someone by their clothing.
  • Don't judge someone by their occupation.
  • Don't judge someone by their possessions.
  • Don't judge classes of people by what is said on TV.
  • Most of what you see on TV is someone else's idea of what reality is.
  • Turn off your TV.
  • Let someone in your lane.
  • Find compromise.
  • Share.
  • Be patient.
  • Be forgiving.
  • Show compassion.
  • Show empathy.
  • Be grateful for what you have.
  • Show support for someone.
  • Show support for yourself.
  • Hug someone you love.
  • Hug someone you don't particularly like. 
  • Hug yourself.
  • Tell someone you love them.
  • Tell yourself that you love you.

This is certainly not an all exhaustive list but I hope that you try some of these ideas. I think you'll find them rewarding on many levels both personal and spiritually.

I'm reminded of the words of Burt Bacharach which I'll leave you with 'What the world needs now, is love, sweet love'. 

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Friday, January 13, 2023

Behaviors That Are Mindfully Unskillful

Oftentimes during our day we seem to navigate on 'autopilot'. Going through the motions of what has been our routine day in and day for years and even decades. These routines or behaviors, which we often overlook, are opportune actions to engage and strengthen our mindfulness practice.

I have selected some of the more common daily activities I think we all experience at some point and am warmly sharing with you how you may turn your innocuous habits into ones that may be transformed into times of mindful awareness.

Dinner

Cooking

Cooking may truly be an experience filled with sensations, smells, textures, and tases that are commonly overlooked. I know that by the end of your workday you may not want to do a lot of meal preparations. Perhaps not much more than slicing a few peppers or onions for spaghetti sauce is all the energy you're able to muster. Peppers and onions are more than enough to include in a mindfulness practice. Each pepper came from someplace, has it's own color that is slightly different than another, texture or crispness may easily vary slightly too. Onions, red, white, or yellow also have their own characteristics. When you slice into their layers does the aroma smell sharp and make your eyes water? Is one species more flavorful than another? Do you sauté them in olive oil along with the peppers before incorporating them into the sauce?

cars, traffic
Driving

When was the last time you truly 'felt the road'. After all that's what the automobile commercials sell to you, an experience worth experiencing. Your driving experience begins as soon as you open your car door. Is the handle cold or hot? When you sit are you sitting on an old fashioned bench seat or are you cradled in a bucket seat? How does your vehicle smell? Is it neat and tidy inside or is there trash all over? As you drive is the radio on and you're absorbed in the music or talk radio? Or are you truly paying attention to the minute vibrations in the steering wheel as you drive towards your destination. Are you lost in thought about yesterday or what you're expecting to experience once you arrive at your destination?

clothing. closet
Shopping

We all need to purchase items for nutritional, comfort, health, and safety and even entertainment at times. But what is your shopping experience like? Do you 'grab and go'? Do you buy what you'll use in the near future or to have 'just in case'. Maybe you wander up and down each aisle not looking for anything particular but allowing advertisers to subliminally catch your attention with their skillful packaging designs. Or maybe you carefully plan your trip, preparing a list of items you need and generally adhering to the list. Do you shop just to pass the time away either online or in-store? We all work hard for our money so why should we not be more discerning in how we part with our earnings. Select fresh fruits and vegetables according to each variety, but in doing so only purchase enough for one week. Buying too little, and you may run back to the store. Buying too much and you risk spoilage. When buying clothing, buy seasonally appropriate items that are replacements for something you have parted with or are willing to part with upon your return home. Remember higher prices or brand names do not equate to superior quality. When we bring awareness to each and every item we allow ourselves to live in that moment. 

confrontation, two women
Avoiding Painful Situations

The first Noble Truth states there is suffering in this world, but as humans we do our best to avoid situations involving hurting others, situations where the likely outcome is not in our favor, or those that challenge our personal beliefs. It is understandable that we all desire an easy life but it is impossible to avoid suffering. When we avoid something we are not skillful at, not only human interactions, we remain unskillful at it, we remain in an undeveloped condition. When we remain unskillful at addressing painful or hard circumstances we in fact perpetuate our own suffering as well as perpetuate or even increase the suffering of others. Whereas when we mature communication skills, suffering eases. We never purposefully decide to hurt an individual or group so we always approach painful situations with love and compassion for others as well as ourselves. We utilize Right Speech, Right Thought, and Right Action. 

firm talking
Talking

The purpose of talking is to relay information, thoughts, ideas, and feelings from one person to another. We all have the desire to be seen and heard. But do you listen to respond or listen to understand? The same desire that you have, to be acknowledged, the other has that same desire as well. Your view point or statement is no less or no more valid than another's view point. When we speak to respond we have closed our mind to what another is thinking or feeling. We are saying, to ourselves, that they are wrong and we are right. We have closed our ears, openness, and awareness to another their being, even if only momentarily.

Social Media
Social Media

It seems as if we've lost the ability to be comfortable with ourselves in silence without some form of stimulus. We may be sitting in a doctors office, waiting in traffic, waiting to meet someone, or even simply sitting at home on the couch. We're always looking for a distraction to take us somewhere anywhere but where we presently are. Scrolling mindlessly down your social media feed to look for the latest news that has zero affect (and effect) on your life, the latest clothing style that you'd never wear, conversations that are initiated or moderated by an AI algorithm promoting divisiveness, or even recipes that you have no intention of ever making. Social media does have its place. It truly is a wonderful application to help promote true, heartfelt, and meaningful connections if used with mindful awareness. But most use it as a form of escapism much like someone with depression may use drugs or alcohol to numb their pain.

woman, unhappy
Wishing Away Time

'Ugh, I can't wait for this meeting to be over' or 'If I had only done this yesterday'. How many times have you made a statement like this at one time or another. Statements like this minimize the value of the current experience, in fact it's judgmental. You're reinforcing the notion that the time you're currently in is less valuable than one in the future or past. The future is always unformed and therefor will always hold no value. You cannot not hold a loved one in the future, but you can in the present moment if they are with you. You may never relive a past moment. The same water will never flow under the same bridge again. The idea of wishing time away takes us out of the present moment and into times that no longer exist. This creates suffering because we are attaching an expectation to a moment that has passed or is unformed. This moment, the present moment, right now, is the most valuable.


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Back To The Present: Living With Mindful Awareness Today

How often do you find yourself revisiting the past regardless of whether it was a good event or one of suffering? 'If I would have only...' statements are a common preamble to such reimaginations.

How often do you fast forward your life, waiting for the present moment to end for a time that you anticipate will be filled with ease and joy. 'When I earn my college degree my life will be easier', are common conclusory statements as well. 

Holding grudges is living in the past. Continually judging someone from an action they did many years ago is living in the past. Thinking and longing for the past, well...is living on the past. And living in the past robs us of the precious jewel we have today. 

Trying to read someone's thoughts or mindset is living on the future. Anticipation or dread is living in the future. Wishing that an experience is over is living in the future as well. It is living in the future in the sense that we are expecting that some future moment will be better than the present one you are currently in. 

Many of us, including myself, enjoy a good sci-fi time travel movie. They offer us a nostalgic view of when we were younger or perhaps of a future time when the problems of society have been eradicated. Yes, I'm still waiting patiently for either a hoverboard or flying car.

But imagine continuously judging every current situation under the lens of a distant past. A past that will never, under any circumstance, present itself again. Or imagine judging an old high school classmate, friend or otherwise, as they were from when they were only 16 or 17 years old? Are you still the same person from that age? Probably not. These examples are not two isolated circumstances, they are intrinsically intertwined. Mindset such as these limit us from experiencing the moment or person as it truly is. We are busy making the situation fit our narrative. We have allowed an idea, concept, or notion, to rob us of the present moment.

Conversely, when we try to 'figure out' what someone else is thinking our minds are consistently active in trying to stay one step ahead. In doing so our minds are playing out so many potential scenarios that most likely will never even manifest. For example, recall a hard conversation you were about to partake in. Did you explore several 'hypothetical' outcomes? How many paths did you walk down? 'If I say this' their response 'could be'. This is a fine example of living in the future and for what purpose? Did the conversation unfold as expected? How much time did you spend in preparation that could have been spent mindfully elsewhere? But more importantly we aren't listening to understand, we are listening to respond. Listening to respond is living in the future and results in a disservice to both parties.

Regardless of whether or not the sci-fi version of time travel isn't important to our daily lives, many of us are already living in the past or the future robbing us of the time we already exist in. We rob ourselves of the true joy of being with ourselves at the expense of a past that will never happen again or a future that will always be unpredictable.

So let's all get back to the present moment...no flux capacitor needed. 


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Monday, October 3, 2022

What I've Learned From Water - And Bruce Lee: A Mindfulness Perspective

The famous martial artist Bruce Lee is often quoted as saying:  

'Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.'

Water Bucket
The story goes that one day he was riding in a boat and was very agitated and struck the water with his fist several times. And with each blow the water did not attempt to fight back. Nor did the water did not get angry. It simply moved out of the way. Shortly there after a bird flew by and its reflection was cast upon the water. Bruce then realized that he was a reflection of his own thoughts and emotions.

These were teachings his only formal master taught him but only then did it make sense to him. 

Very often we get in our own way when a challenging circumstance presents itself to us, we resist instead of accepting. When we accept a circumstance, the circumstance is still there but we may examine it more deeply. When we resist a circumstance, the circumstance is still there but we react with fear, ignorance, and anger.

As the bird few over the water, its reflection moved with it. The water did not try to hold onto this reflection or become the bird. It simply let the bird go. Emotions and feelings are much like this birds reflection. They come and they go. 

It's normal to have whatever emotion you're experiencing but like the reflection, don't hold on to them for long. Let them fly in and let them fly out. In other words, experience whatever emotion arises but do not try to hold on for too long. This is non-attachment.

Water doesn't try to get to the highest mountain top but instead always moves towards what is called 'base level', the ocean. All forms of water and reservoirs like lakes, ponds, rivers, streams, and rain all eventually return to the ocean. And they do so effortlessly.

Moist Grass
So to achieve the balance you seek, accept yourself by going with your nature and not against. Learn to respond and not react. Flow around the obstacle. See the reflection but do not try to always be the reflection for it too is impermanent.


I wish you all peace, ease, and wellbeing.


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Walking A Path Towards Liberation: A Mindfulness Journey

You wake up on a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun is shinning. The sky is a crisp blue. And the temperature outside is already inviting you to be outdoors. You decide it's going to be a splendid day, one that is not to be wasted indoors. After several moments reflecting on how to spend this wonderful day you finally decide on a picnic at a nearby park.

While you shower you go over menu items in which to bring as well as that novel you've been trying to finish. Today will be a perfect day.

You dress.

You collect the food items you decided on and head out to your car.

As you pass by some friendly neighbors who wish you a good morning your heart stops and your stomach tightens as you gaze to where you're sure you parked yesterday. 

Empty Parking Space

Between the lines of your designated parking spot where your car should be is nothing but empty space.

Your car has been stolen.  

How will you get to work? How will you go to the grocery store? How will you do anything?

The upwelling of emotions, anger, despair, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty, begin to overwhelm your sense of placidity.

This is an example of your servitude to an inanimate object. A possession this is uncaring and unfeeling. 

You are not liberated.

So how may we find the liberation we seek? 

Where do we begin to look?

Liberation is not found in a book or written in a document somewhere. Although the path towards liberation may be described in these items, but they too are inanimate objects.

Liberation is achieved from one singular action, or the more appropriate term being 'non-action'. And that is 'letting go'.

Letting go is about learning how to respond instead of react and adjusting our current perspectives into one that is less self-centered.

Consider your stolen car example from above, you initially had the expectation that the car would be there when returned. Although that is a 'reasonable' expectation we know that as mindfulness practitioners that all things are impermanent, including cars in a parking spot. 

Next, after a few brief moments had elapsed we reacted to several strong catastrophizing emotions thus moving into the future with untimely concerns about getting to work and food shopping. Again, these are relevant concerns but we reacted instead of responded. 

And you reacted, and not responded, in such a manor because you are own by a possession. You are not liberated. A car doesn't care who owns it.

Another example of servitude and not liberation could be a work or political decision, regardless of how it personally applies to you. Most often though most decisions have little to no bearing on you but you chose to react instead of respond.  

Holding on to an idea as eternal is servitude and not liberation. Holding on to a concept as eternal is servitude and not liberation. Holding on to a notion as eternal is servitude and not liberation.

When we look at our mindset or daily activities we see them as 'set in stone' or we justify them as us being 'set in our ways'. This too is servitude and not liberation. We hold on to 'our ways' out of comfort mostly and not out of what truly benefits us...learning to let go. 

Woman Thinking

When we find ourself being resistant to something new (including the prospect of a stolen car) it's because we expect things to be static or stationary. That will never be the long-term dynamic. So learning to let go with mindful awareness and accepting that all things must pass. And then letting them pass when the situation presents itself, regardless of our personal views, with gratitude. 

And it is with gratitude for being in the present moment with what we do have, not what we don't have, is how we walk a path towards liberation. 


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2022

The Road to Suffering: Cravings, Desires, And Attachment

We breathe, we touch, we see, we get thirsty, we get hungry, we have emotions, and we have desires. Some of these are necessary for life. Others maybe not so much.

The Buddha tells us that desires or 'cravings' are the source of our suffering. It's not that humans can't 'want' or 'desire' food when we're hungry, water when we're thirsty, or companionship when we're lonely. These are necessary conditions for us to sustain life.

But what about the desire for the large home or the expensive automobile. Most may realize that owning a Bentley or Lamborghini, or the ocean cliff home are out of reach but the craving is still there. 

Luxury Cars
One reality some don't realize is that it's both the wanting and having that causes suffering. The suffering of wanting and then the suffering of keeping is self-perpetuated. So often with any possession, a dwelling, an automobile, various clothing, many books, and more, we allow inanimate objects to posses us which increases our suffering. 

Recall if you will, a time when you were looking forward to eating at a new and exciting restaurant. Maybe it was the new Korean barbeque restaurant or the new pizza parlor friends have been raving about. Whichever, you had but an expectation of how wonderful this meal would be, how succulent each morsel of food would taste.

Barbeque, BBQ
You order, wait patiently for your food to arrive, and the joy on your face is palatable when it arrives. The server places each plate directly within your reach. You bite into your first bite and find it tastes OK. Not great, but OK. You have experienced suffering due to a future you built about how this experience would be. This future never manifested into fruition.

You become angry, disappointed, saddened as a result. Your mind is now agitated. It never occurred to you that your cravings would not be met. And now that your mind is agitated you hold on to attachment of the unfulfilled expectation and money you spent.

My wife, who is Cambodian, has a saying that fits well here and with most of life's circumstances, 'don't care too much'.

This may seem passive or nonchalant but it really exemplifies 'The Middle Path', not too much, and not too little. Accept what life gives you as it gives you without too much expectation and with gratitude. 

When something goes your way, great. Enjoy it while it's there because it will pass. This passing may be to something more joyful, or unfortunate, or to something indifferent. 

When something unfortunate arises know that it too will pass. And this passing may lead to something joyful or to something indifferent. 

That's the beauty of life, it's always changing. It's impermanent. And it's this impermanence that allows us to appreciate what we do have, life, in that very, singular moment. We know that that moment will never, ever, come again. 

Remember that cravings and desires are future wanting and not in the here and now. And attachment is the unacceptance that all things, good, bad, or indifferent, must pass.


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Friday, May 13, 2022

The Five Precepts of Buddhism: A Path Towards Liberation

It seems that in modern life we are often pulled into many directions. Not knowing where to go. Who or what to believe. As a result we end up being a slave to our own superficial whims and desires. Our minds become filled with distractions and unwholesomeness.

But how do we free our minds from such trivialities we consider as important? 

Jail

We cannot achieve liberation without freeing the mind. And to achieve this liberation the Buddha teaches three valuable lessons, morality, concentration and wisdom.


Each of these teachings builds upon the other, like the concrete foundation of a home is made of cement, sand, and water. Each supporting each other to provide a solid area to build upon when solidified.


To develop our foundation we must give up what is evil and develop what is good. This process is referred to as sila.


In the Dhammapada (verse 183) this is summed up as:


Abandoning what is evil, developing what is good, purifying the mind – that is the teaching of the Buddhas.


The Buddha also tells us that the “Mind is the forerunner of all things, mind is their leader, they are made by the mind. When someone speaks or acts with impure thoughts, suffering follows, like the wheel follows the hoof of the ox.”


When we live a life founded in morality we live a life free from restlessness and remorse as a result of regret.


But what is moral behavior?


The Buddha gives us these five receipts or five virtues to develop: 

  1. Abstain from killing
  2. Abstain from stealing
  3. Abstain from sexual misconduct
  4. Abstain from wrong speech
  5. Abstain from the use of intoxicating substances that cause inattention


1. Abstain From Killing


Picture a beetle on the road. At the same time you decide you're going for a walk. As you walk you encounter this beetle. Following this precept you go around the beetle. But let's now say you're driving a car and you don't see this beetle. If you did not see it and kill it, this does not result in negative karma.


Abstaining from killing also includes intentionally causing the death of another sentient being. For example, hiring someone to do this for you. You are still directly responsible.


The primary goal of no killing is to develop our compassion.


2. Abstain From Stealing


Wanting something that is not yours is an unhealthy desire and leads to suffering. This precept certainly includes taking what's not yours by theft or deception but this precept goes further than that. A more complete translation would be ‘abstain from taking what is not given’.


This precept presupposes a deep respect for the property of others. Don’t just assume that you can borrow something.


An interesting consideration of this precepts also includes wasting someone's time. This to may also be considered stealing.


 

3. Abstain From Sexual Misconduct


Sexual misconduct originates from sensory desire, physical or one of power. The desire for pleasurable experiences can be so great that you lose the ability to lookout for the wellbeing of yourself and the other.


The Buddha speaks out against sexual misconduct and offers multiple examples of what sexual misconduct is:

  • sexual acts with someone who is under the protection of their parents
  • with someone who already has a steady relationship,
  • unwanted or punishable sexual acts (abuse),
  • and prostitution

In essence, this precepts relates to any form of sexual act that harms the other person.


4. Abstain From Wrong Speech


Abstaining from wrong speech means:

  • Not lying, even 'white lies'.
  • Not speaking in a way that causes division among others
  • Not using rude language
  • Not gossiping

Talk show, gossip

If we look even slightly closer at these examples we can easily see that much of what we witness on TV, from sitcoms, cable news, political speeches, or talk shows would fall under many of these examples.



5. Abstain From The Use Of Intoxicating Substances That Cause Inattention


The last precept is to abstain from using intoxicants that cause inattention. The piece ‘that cause inattention’ is essential inclusion too. This precept is specifically about abstaining from things that prevent or work against aware.


Alcohol is the most commonly used of these substances. Alcohol divides the mind and makes this awareness impossible. Whoever drinks alcohol irrevocably brings his mind into a state that is incompatible with the teachings of the Buddha.


But it's not only alcohol but also includes not taking any substances that causes one to lose conscience or conduct immoral behavior. For example, Marijuana, opium, amphetamine, sniffing glue, morphine, etc. The exception to some of these would be when they are prescribed by a physician for legitimate medical purposes.


The main purpose of this precept is to prevent your mind from becoming so weakened and losing control that you will break the other precepts.


Summary


In modern life some of these precepts may seem restrictive but when considered with the wisdom that which they were given we see that they are really freeing and liberating.

friends, diverse friends

When our minds are occupied by alcohol or drug addiction are we free? No, of course not, One is then a servant to another master.


When we spend our precious time gossiping about another we are causing suffering to them, even if they aren't present, and suffering for ourselves. 


If we look at jails and prisons they are filled with people who have violated one or more of these precepts resulting in their incarceration. This too is suffering for that person as well as their family members.


When you follow these five precepts you will experience the freedom and liberation that all beings seek.


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Developing Healthy And Positive Relationships With Mindfulness

Think about your last or perhaps your current relationship.

Did you look forward to seeing this person? Spending quality time with them?

What is it that you like about them? There may even be qualities that you’re not fond of but you accept, like having an action figure collection.

The first healthy relationship most people experience is with their mothers, fathers, grandparents and perhaps siblings. But this situation doesn't have to be true for everyone, every family is different, but these interactions often lay the foundation for our future relationships.

Happy Family

We see how our parents interact and assume that’s how all families interact. We learn respectful behavior. How to nurture someone in time of sickness or other need. We learn how to trust. We learn love. We learn conflict resolution. And we learn boundaries.

But not every family is warm and nurturing. Sadly, some homes are not so pleasant and this may result in perpetuating suffering in your own relationships in the future.

So how may we learn how to mindfully develop and nurture positive and healthy relationships?

Before we talk about how mindfulness can help, let’s look at some examples of unhealthy relationship traits. Keep in mind that the dynamic isn’t only male on female, but may be female on male, male on male, female on female, or any of the vast array of family relationships that exist.

  • A codependent relationship
  • A relationship this involves verbal, physical, and sexual violence
  • A relationship that involves some form of addiction such as, alcohol, drugs, gambling.
  • A relationship that is financially abusive.
  • A relationship this is emotionally abusive.
Domestic violence, fighting couple
Although there are more examples, a majority of unhealthy relationships will combine one or more of these traits.

We often relate relationships to a journey. A journey along our own individual path as we seek spiritual enlightenment or at the very least a harmonious and wholesome life.

And along this journey we've embarked upon we’d like to have company.

This is normal since people are social beings. And a partner helps us enjoy what we mindfully encounter along the way.

A partner helps us during times of illness. A partner is there to help us celebrate joyful occasions. And a partner helps us see the world with a different perspective which helps us remove preconceived notions.

Preconceived notions and ideas about others, including our partners, takes away from your understanding of who they truly are, an individual being like yourself. And maintaining preconceived notions promotes suffering.

For example maybe we say ‘you aren't the same person any more’. Here we make a prediction about a person, a negative illusion, about some ones expected behavior. You are suffering as a result of this expectation and so is the other person as a result.

Or on the opposite side maybe we have a positive illusion, 'my partner can do no wrong'. Here you are clinging to an idealized version of them which may lead to unrealistic expectations about their behavior. Again, more suffering for the both of you.

Before we may offer space for a partner along our journey we need to be sure we are ready and that we are healthy to do so. Meaning that we are with mindful awareness, opening ourselves to being vulnerable, and accepting another as they walk along their path as well. You are in the here and now, in the present moment.

Happy, Loving Couple

If you feel you are ready then I offer you some gentle suggestions of what to look for.

  • Gentle speaking
  • Supportive.
  • honest
  • Non-violent.
  • Not jealous or possessive
  • Compassionate towards you, himself, and others
  • Empathetic towards you, himself, and others
  • And certainly you both love each other.

Mindfulness is a wonderful way to help value and strengthen a relationship both with yourself and others. And so as you continue on your journey, breath in and say ‘as I breathe in I walk in peace’ and as you breathe out say ‘as I breathe out I open myself to the beauty of others’.


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir



You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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The Sixteen Imperfections of the Mind | The Eight Imperfections : Part 2 Subtle Distortions of Identity

As we continue, the first eight imperfections are loud and easy to recognize. The second eight are quieter. They hide behind respectability ...