What I Think About You: A Mindfulness View Of Self And Others

You may have heard a saying something to the effect that when we judge someone that is a quality within ourselves we do not like or covet. Something akin to looking at ourselves in a mirror and finding flaws. For instance, if you see someone you feel is overweight maybe you assume something about their lifestyle. 

You may describe them with words like, lazy, sloppy, unmotivated, or gluttonous. But you yourself haven't been to a gym or exercised in years. Maybe you have a health condition that precludes you from doing so...maybe they do as well. You judged someone knowing nothing about them. 

Do you find yourself condemning a particular persons (celebrity or other) action whom you personally do not even know? Maybe they wore an outfit that made a headline and you made a judgment about that style or a recent role they played in a movie. Maybe your coworker ate a little too much at the company's annual potluck lunch and you made a comment under your breath about portion size.

Consider this, if you are joyful that you are alive, that you are capable of walking this Earth, doing good for other, then how do you have the mindset to judge others? When we see that celebrity wearing an expensive dress or suit be joyful for them. They worked hard, just like you do. And even though their circumstance is not like yours they are deserving of the same joyful emotions that you seek.

When an individual or group of people are the beneficiaries of a windfall that at one time you might have been a part of be joyful that someone has had their burdened eased. Jealousy, envy, the 'what about me' statements are poisons that destroy wellbeing. 

These examples, and many more, are judgments of not someone else, but of ourselves and reflect the suffering we are experiencing.

So how may you start to minimize and then ultimately stop judging? We simply start small.

You don't like her lipstick? They're not your lips so it's not an issue for you.

His belt is on the last hole? Maybe the belt has was a gift from a loved one who passed.

This person has a face tattoo or piercings. They are working hard to provide for their, or family members, daily care just like you.

As you catch yourself in these small situations the practice naturally migrates towards larger examples, like a co-worker get the promotion you felt should have been yours.

As mindfulness practitioners we engage in non-judgmental awareness, ‘this is this and that is that’. It is neither good nor bad, neither desirable nor undesirable. It simply is. By adopting this mindset, we allow ourselves to truly experience freedom and liberation from hurting ourselves and others. We reduce the suffering in the world.

When you allow openness into your mind and heart you no longer have room for judgment. Instead, that space has now been filled with the joyfulness and compassion for others...and us.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Have You Done Enough? A Mindful Approach To Accomplishment.

We've all pushed through some form of challenge whether it was physical, mental, or career related. As humans we enjoy seeing our limits from time to time but to what extent. Do we cease when we break a bone or sustain some injury? Do we only realize we've gone too far personally or professionally when a valued relationship comes to an end.

So what are some early signs that we have indeed done enough we may bring awareness to before a negative outcome results. 

One of the first signs that comes to mind is continuously working long hours, regardless of if you have a family or not. This notion certainly goes against the mindset of todays modern world of 'being productive'. 

I encounter this mindset during many conversations I have. It is irrespective of gender too and afflicts male and female equally. As a result of this unsustainable and unhealthy notion these people have not only increased their daily stress but have also increased their chances for health issues.

Another sign that comes to mind is brining your work home with you. Imagine your life totally revolving around your job. Although it's important to do a 'good job' while you're at work it's more important to have healthy boundaries in place. No matter what your job title or position you hold in any organization you are replaceable. You are not replaceable to your family. Your health is not replaceable. And your well-being is certainly not replaceable.

A third sign that often presents itself sleeping too much. When you do settle down on a weekend or holiday do you spend most of it trying to 'recuperate' from the weeks work? This is your bodies way of telling you that you are doing too much. When you are sleeping and healing from the previous week are you neglecting others, like a spouse or children? Are they not in need of your presence as well?

Finally, have you ever questioned yourself, however slightly, by saying 'why can't this be over', or some statement to that effect. This is your mind and your body telling you that, yes, you've done too much. As mindful practitioners it's important that we bring awareness to all of our thoughts and evaluate them with openness. It's a cultural tendency to say no, we need to do more, and push ourselves to unhealthy extremes. That notion is unsustainable in the long-term.  

Consider an empty cup. Begin to fill it with water until you reach the just below the brim. You can pick up the cup without worrying about spilling any water. Now, add more water, just to the top of the brim. It's certainly harder to pick up and move around without spilling a drop. Now, what happens when you continue to add more water? It spills over. Perhaps even staining the table cloth. 

Your mind and body are the cup. The water is what ever you do too much of. The table cloth could certainly represent your family and friends. 

One may not pour from an empty cup nor may one have a tidy life with too much bombardment from outside.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Thoughts And Prayers And Mindfulness: Does It Work?

During times of sorrow and tears we often hear the words ‘thoughts and prayers’. These words are meant to offer comfort from the unaffected to the affected. But do these actions truly comfort them? Perhaps to some they do and that is a wonderful blessing. However, if we look more deeply into the ‘thoughts and prayers’ action maybe it’s meant to change the perspective of the one offering the ‘thoughts and prayers’.

If we change the terminology slightly from ‘thoughts and prayers’ to ‘mindful meditation’ we change the dynamic to one of sincere, personal reflection. When we send thoughts and prayers, we ask God to help ease the burden someone is experiencing. But God doesn’t interfere in that manner. He has left that important action up to us in the form of mindful meditation. 

As one sits in prayer they are focused on the suffering this person is experiencing. They open their hearts to them. As a result of this opening the emotions that naturally surface during this time revolve around compassion, empathy, and healing. No one desires to see another human being suffer in such extremes.

Let me offer an example, car seats. Before the use of car seats was made compulsory for children many children were severely injured or killed in car accidents. Thoughts and prayers (mindful meditation) were sent and eventually societies mindsets evolved to one that could not fathom how we did not better protect our children in the past. 

The evolution from no car seats then to car seats now did not occur overnight, over the course of a month, or year, but in fact took the better part of several decades. And during this time, a time of reflection and unfolding, mindsets that resisted such a positive movement with limiting statements like ‘I turned out OK’ or ‘I’d never confine my child like that’ eventually changed.

They changed not because a supreme deity waved their hand and changed their mind but because while they were offering thoughts and prayers ego gave way to compassion, stubbornness gave way to openness, and hardness gave way to empathy. This process happens slowly but it does happen. Remember, every single action we do is always proceeded by a thought. It may take some time for mindful thought to bloom in some, it nevertheless does. It happens one person at a time just like a jug is filled drop by drop. Right thought, which is always kind, leads to right action, which is always compassionate.

The more ingrained (or codified) a concept, notion, or idea is in a society the larger the jug and the more drops it will take to fill. And so, what often happens is that the ones who desire/crave a quicker change lose patience with those still in contemplation. This often leads to the shutting down of minds on both sides. Instead, patience is required even if during that time suffering is still occurring. Patience is a form of love and wisdom and is necessary to practice.

So, are thoughts and prayers working?

Yes, just not necessarily on the timeline some expect. Which is a different topic for discussion.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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