Mindfulness, Schools, and Our Children’s Mental Wellbeing

Incorporating A Safe Space For Our Children

There was a TicTok video circulating recently calling for violence in our schools across our society. Although law enforcement determined this to be a non-credible threat many parents chose to keep their children home. Some schools even closed. My daughter text me to come pick her up early due to her not feeling safe in her school, regardless of the additional police presence.

This text message and ensuing conversation with her caused me to pause and reflect not only on this type of situation that has become an all-too-common occurrence but to many other forms of anxiety and fear within our school system. 

Setting these types of gross violent incidents aside for a moment, consider how often our children experience bullying, ridicule, and instances of ostracizing on a daily basis.

These non-newsworthy actions result in feelings of anxiety and fear in a child in a place that is designed to enrich our young peoples lives.

When we think about our children being bullied we often neglect the ‘bully’ themselves. But they too are victims of fear, violence, ridicule, and anxiety, more likely as a result of some form of trauma at home. 

So here too, a child’s home, is a place that is supposed to be supportive, comforting, and safe for a them but yet it isn’t.

So where is a young person, a child, supposed to feel safe during their day if needed?

Think about a location where you would want to retreat to in these circumstances and what you find comforting, relaxing, non-judgmental, and safe.

During my reflection a thought entered my mind. A room with no tables, no chairs, no aromas, but only soft, clean, and inviting cushions to sit on, and low, and soft, ambient lighting. A room of tranquility.

Notice I make no mention of sounds or aromas. This is deliberate because sounds and aromas may trigger the memory of trauma which is what we’re trying to avoid in this room.

Imagine if this type of room were readily available at all times during the school day. Who could potentially use this type of safe space?

I’m sure we can picture a child who is bullied in this room but what about the ‘popular’ girl or boy who is being sexually molested that we have no idea about. Or perhaps it’s the child who is unassuming, who avoids attention because they don’t cause trouble but yet they feel alone inside with screams of pain well hidden from all.

People need a retreat, a safe space, somewhere to regain their balance. A room of tranquility has the potential to offer this to some child in need.

A room of tranquility doesn’t need to be staffed with a mental health professional. It could be staffed with a teacher, an administrator, a priest, a rabbi, a volunteer senior citizen. The only requirement needed is non-judgmental listening if needed and no offerings of advice or suggestions.

Maybe this is the room where a student realizes that their life has value. Maybe this is the room where a student reaches out to a trusted adult to let them know what is happening at home. Maybe this is the room where a student realizes that committing an act of violence in their school will only cause more suffering.

Something to consider, don’t you think?
 

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Mindfulness For Introverts

Understanding Social Anxiety With Mindfulness

I would like for you to consider the word introvert for a moment.

When we think of someone who is or who describes themselves as an introvert what qualities come to mind?

Quiet? Shy? Or meek, perhaps?

Perhaps you self-identify as introverted.

Would you be interested to know that social scientists have classified four types of introverts?

I'll briefly define these four below but I'd also remind you that as with all mindful considerations, it's possible to be fluid with these terms, meaning that even if we do not consider ourselves introverted we will recognize some of these qualities in ourselves.

The Social Introvert. This describes the tendency to prefer spending time in smaller groups of people or alone.

The Thinking Introvert. This describes the tendency to spend a lot of time absorbed in your imagination and the inner landscape of your thoughts.

The Anxious Introvert. This person reflects the need to spend time alone because the company of other people prompts feelings of shyness, social awkwardness, or lack of confidence. Alone, one might dwell on past experiences or worry about future ones.

The Inhibited Introvert. This simply means one is more likely to act with restraint than impulse. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to spend time alone, in fact that’s often how we meditate or study. Myself included. And at times we all have or will exhibit these qualities. We are not pigeon holed into one specific category at any given time.

However humans are by nature social animals and by being social is how all of the many wonderful societies we see today came into existence.

However being excessively introverted can impact the balance of your being. Most often missing out on connecting with others. 

Sometimes the reasoning is ‘ I don’t like people’, I have enough friends’ but if someone is honest with themselves most often the more honest reason is something else. And that something else is usually a fear of not being accepted or good enough.

So we must explore this a little more. All fear is a result of living or projecting an outcome that is somewhere in the future. A future that does not exist. Even if it’s based on a previous experience, this current situation is not the one that has already passed

We need to bring ourselves into the present moment.

With mindful breathing and attention, acknowledge your present feelings - I feel nervous. I feel scared. I feel unworthy. It’s OK to identify each and every one.

Then explore each of those feelings you’ve identified and ask why they are there? You may find that in fact, they serve no helpful purpose in being there. At the end of your examination, let them go.  

Depending on how many emotions you’ve identified during your inventory will correspond to how long you’re mindfully examining each and every one. Therefore it’s important to remember this is about your overall personal growth and not necessarily an overnight success. It may take time to unlearn what you’re accustomed to doing and to learn and recognize the positive growth you’re working towards.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

The Importance Of Mindful Self-Reflection

Understanding Where We Are To Walk Forward.

How do we know where we're heading? Are we on a balanced and harmonious path? Did we offer compassion as we walked our path? Where may we improve?

As with all personal growth it's important to look back and reflect from where we were to where we are and to determine what, if any, adjustments need to be made.

Reflection is our way to see where we started to where we are presently.

As the year begins to come to a close and a new year is approaching December offers us a more opportune time to self-reflect.

Self-reflection can be difficult for some since it requires us to look at ourselves with honest, non-judgmental awareness. We tend to view all that we do through our own lenses without the benefit of the ones we come in contact with.

Our memories are not vaults nor are they hard-drives capable of recalling memories on a whim so trying to recall details from an entire year in a few days can be daunting. It's expected that we forget details, emotions, and thoughts about certain instances. and the further away from the moment the less we may be able to recall accurately.  

So to help with this introspective task it helps to have something tangible in-hand. 

This is where journaling comes in which is an easy way to help record feeling, thoughts, and many other details about a particular event or day in particular. Even if you didn't write an entry every day but only a few times a week is better than not having anything. We can also include what others may have said to us so we may consider their perspective as well.

Depending on the number of entries listed your review may take several days or weeks, but that was the point right? To capture the precious, joyful moments of your life, the mundane moments, as well as those hard and upsetting times as well.

As you progress through your review you may even find that what was initially considered mundane really had a more significant meaning. 

As you review your entries here are some examples of what your reflection could look like:

- Was I as compassionate to myself and others as I could have been?

- Did I offer forgiveness as often as I should have?

- With the coming of the New Year how may I offer compassion and       forgiveness more freely? - Did I walk with mindful awareness as often as I could have? - Was I as forgiving to myself and others as I truly believed I was?

Maybe you can tally up times that you offered compassion to someone in need, or when you were offered compassion when you were in need. Whatever your intentions were for the previous year, this is a wonderful time to assess them and make the necessary adjustments. Or, if you were satisfied with what transpired perhaps it's time to consider where to go for the upcoming year.

Remember, your path is an endless journey of compassion, love, and awareness with yourself and others around you. 

Wishing you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.