Moving Out Of Your Mind Swamp

Life will always happen around us and to us. 

Whether it’s a fortuitous event like an unexpected handwritten letter from a dear friend, a neutral event like you’re sitting on a bus on your way to work, or one that may have significant negative implications like receiving some dreadful news about a loved one.

Negative events seem to have a more lasting impact on our wellbeing than the positive or neutral circumstances. And if we allow ourselves to live in those moments too long they too can bloom into lasting anxiety, despair, and hopelessness.

When we dwell in the negative we are giving ourselves permission to be unkind to our being.

It’s not that you are not allowed to feel sad for a friend or sad for yourself at times. You are and these are normal emotions and it is why we have and experience them from time to time. But staying there too long will have an affect on your long-term wellbeing if not addressed mindfully.

If you will, recall a time when perhaps you dwelled in an unfortunate circumstance too long. Perhaps you were fired or laid off from a job. Maybe a long-term relationship was abruptly ended. Or maybe a much anticipated outcome did not come to fruition as planned. What did you do? How did your behavior change? How did it make your body feel? What thoughts were coming to mind.

Now, recalling that same instance, what brought you out of the negative mindset? You may answer friends, family, or even a vacation. If you said any of these, or something else, you’d be wrong.

 

So what then did bring you out of this negative mind-space?

It was you. No one has the power over you, that power of healing is something only you possess. No one may 'make' you feel any type of way. Your feelings are simply what 'you' give permission to or allow to bloom. No one may give you that gift other than yourself.

Sure, others may point out or list the positives within you but it is ultimately your decision to say ‘yes, the good qualities they see in me are true’. And then you, no one else, decides to embrace them.

So what made you finally move from this saddened mindset to one of moving forward?

Maybe it was the realization that you are worthy. That you are not lacking or wanting.

 

You simply realized that the suffering you were allowing yourself to sit with was not healing. You were in what I call a mind swamp. You let go of a past that was anchoring you in a place that was un-nurturing.

But now reflect on how long it took you to realize your worthiness and not remain in this mind-swamp? Was it hours, days, weeks, months, or perhaps even years?

As mindfulness practitioners we know that all things, including circumstances are impermanent. And this is an important understanding because it reveals to us that life is truly beautiful when we are aware of this impermanent quality.

 

So how may we move past our mind-swamp into someplace more nurturing?

We will look towards the Buddha for some of his insightful teachings.

One method he suggests as teaches is:

If some unskilled thoughts associated with desire, aversion or confusion arise and disturb the mind, you should attend instead to another characteristic  which is associated with what is skilled . . . It is like a skilled carpenter who can knock out a large peg with a small peg.

You simply replace the negative thought with one that is more wholesome and welcoming. This may sound simple but it can be hard because we like to hold on to what we're comfortable with, even if it's painful.  

The second method the Buddha suggests when dealing with disturbing thoughts is:

Scrutinize the peril of these unskilled thoughts by thinking: 'these are unskilled thoughts, these are thoughts that have errors, indeed these are thoughts that are of painful results . . . It is like a woman or a man, young and fond of adornment, who if the carcass of a snake or a dog were hanging around their neck would be revolted and disgusted and throw it away immediately as soon as they noticed it.

Here you recognize that these thoughts are harmful, have impacts, and will, without a doubt, perpetuate your suffering. When you are lost in your negative thoughts you will continue to justify them. Simply let them go. 

I would like to leave you with this about the power of your thoughts again from the Buddha:

The thought manifests as the word;

The word manifests as a deed;

The deed develops into habit

And habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care

And let it spring from love

Born out of concern for all beings.

Take time to reflect on these teachings and examples and see how best they may fit into your own lives.

I wish you all peace , ease, and wellbeing.

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Walking A Path Towards Liberation: A Mindfulness Journey

You wake up on a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun is shinning. The sky is a crisp blue. And the temperature outside is already inviting you to be outdoors. You decide it's going to be a splendid day, one that is not to be wasted indoors. After several moments reflecting on how to spend this wonderful day you finally decide on a picnic at a nearby park.

While you shower you go over menu items in which to bring as well as that novel you've been trying to finish. Today will be a perfect day.

You dress.

You collect the food items you decided on and head out to your car.

As you pass by some friendly neighbors who wish you a good morning your heart stops and your stomach tightens as you gaze to where you're sure you parked yesterday. 

Between the lines of your designated parking spot where your car should be is nothing but empty space.

Your car has been stolen.  

How will you get to work? How will you go to the grocery store? How will you do anything?

The upwelling of emotions, anger, despair, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty, begin to overwhelm your sense of placidity.

This is an example of your servitude to an inanimate object. A possession this is uncaring and unfeeling. 

You are not liberated.

So how may we find the liberation we seek? 

Where do we begin to look?

Liberation is not found in a book or written in a document somewhere. Although the path towards liberation may be described in these items, but they too are inanimate objects.

Liberation is achieved from one singular action, or the more appropriate term being 'non-action'. And that is 'letting go'.

Letting go is about learning how to respond instead of react and adjusting our current perspectives into one that is less self-centered.

Consider your stolen car example from above, you initially had the expectation that the car would be there when returned. Although that is a 'reasonable' expectation we know that as mindfulness practitioners that all things are impermanent, including cars in a parking spot. 

Next, after a few brief moments had elapsed we reacted to several strong catastrophizing emotions thus moving into the future with untimely concerns about getting to work and food shopping. Again, these are relevant concerns but we reacted instead of responded. 

And you reacted, and not responded, in such a manor because you are own by a possession. You are not liberated. A car doesn't care who owns it.

Another example of servitude and not liberation could be a work or political decision, regardless of how it personally applies to you. Most often though most decisions have little to no bearing on you but you chose to react instead of respond.  

Holding on to an idea as eternal is servitude and not liberation. Holding on to a concept as eternal is servitude and not liberation. Holding on to a notion as eternal is servitude and not liberation.

When we look at our mindset or daily activities we see them as 'set in stone' or we justify them as us being 'set in our ways'. This too is servitude and not liberation. We hold on to 'our ways' out of comfort mostly and not out of what truly benefits us...learning to let go. 

When we find ourself being resistant to something new (including the prospect of a stolen car) it's because we expect things to be static or stationary. That will never be the long-term dynamic. So learning to let go with mindful awareness and accepting that all things must pass. And then letting them pass when the situation presents itself, regardless of our personal views, with gratitude. 

And it is with gratitude for being in the present moment with what we do have, not what we don't have, is how we walk a path towards liberation. 

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Mindfulness For Father And Sons

As a male in our society, like many of us I suppose, I was encouraged, or more honestly, taught what it was to be a 'man'. That a 'man' behaves a certain way. He doesn't cry. Doesn't show too much joy or happiness, emotions are a sign of weakness. He's the bread winner of the home. He's the firm disciplinarian. His say is final. He is an avid sports fan. Drinks beer. He cursus. And when his sights are set on a woman he is unapologetically like a panther on a deer. 

With all of these 'male' expectations to live up to it's no wonder why there's so much disconnect with who we are on the inside. So much rage and insecurity pile on inside when what he has been taught doesn't come to fruition. Men may feel lost. Men may feel sadness welling inside, like every other human being, but continues to feel the societal pressure to 'be a man'.

This cultural conditioning is passed on to their sons.

Which in turn is passed onto their sons. 

Fortunately we are beginning to witness small signs of change in how fathers interact and warmly nurture their sons. For example, we can turn to social media platforms and see post, stories, and reels of fathers not only lovingly embracing their infant and young sons but pre-teen and teen sons as well. Decades ago, even without the ease of posting to social media, this type of care was not likely displayed at home yet alone in public and certainly not for the world to see.

So how do men change their 'tough' exterior to one of nurturing and care?

The very first realization to consider is that what anyone, both woman and men, sees in the mirror is merely a shell containing a consciousness. Your exterior does not 'define' who you are. In our religion until you have experienced enlightenment you will continuously be reincarnated, in other words same the consciousness (or being) as now but in different forms with each rebirth.

So no matter what form you currently inhabit the consciousness that is 'you' is capable of so much more than what is offered to you culturally based upon your sex, physique, or socio-economic status. 

As you sit there with or observe or reflect on your son, think back to the reason you decided to become a parent in the first place. Was it so he could be mean to others? Was it so he could be the best fighter in the neighborhood? Was it so he could sexually harass or dominate over women? Or could it have been you wanted him to beat up those who are weaker then he?

I would hope that none of the above were the reasons a man decided to enter parenthood. 

Instead we want our son to be kind, considerate, and loving towards others. 

When we reframe our perspective from one of the visual, physical, shallow, and ego driven, to one that is more encompassing, eternal, loving, warm, compassionate, empathetic, we are better able to support our sons to navigate healthily in the world in that they will inevitable enter.

So we too as fathers need to let go of ego. Ego is not mindful, aware, open, or compassionate. Ego is nothing more than a thin, frail shell used as a shield to continue doing harm to sons, ourselves, and others.  

As fathers we may best support our sons wellbeing by showing that we too are capable of warmth, support, compassion, love, and soft physical connection.

Using mindfulness as we reflect on ourselves and our sons we begin to understand perhaps the stern discipline and harsh punishments was very harmful to our mental wellbeing. But also using mindfulness we understand that we are not our past, we have the ability to shed our old skin in favor of a new skin. A new skin that is not full of ego, anger, jealousy, insincerity, and fear but instead one this is full of love, compassion, empathy, and gratitude for the the opportunity to shape and cultivate a well developed son.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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