Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts

Saturday, August 13, 2022

Mindfulness and Your Smoke Detector

Chirp…Chirp…Chirp…Chirp…

Most of us are familiar with that little chirping sound from the smoke detector in our homes reminding us that it’s time to change the battery.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…chirp…

We hear it and think to ourselves, ‘I’ll replace the battery as soon as I get up’ 

Smoke Detector

But we don’t.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…chirp…

Ok, I’ll replace you as soon as this TV show is over…

But we don’t.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…chirp…

Ok Mr. Smoke detector I hear you, I’ll meet your needs as soon as I finish eating.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

A smoke detector is an important sensor that not only warns of a fire in our home, but it saves lives.

Our bodies are very similar to a smoke detector in that it will let you know when something is wrong. When we are ill, we might get a fever, chills, and body aches. When we touch a hot pan or skillet, we receive pain signals telling us to let go. In these two examples people will certainly take medicine or release the pan.

But there are several signals our bodies sendoff that we tend to ignore or minimize. Headaches, muscle tension, anxiety, fatigue, and more are typical signs of stress. It is these important signals we tend to ignore…chirp…chirp…chirp…

But why do we ignore our bodies in such a way that is harmful to our wellbeing?

I’d say there are two main reasons behind this neglect: societal constructs and ego.

In the world we live in we have been conditioned that if you aren’t working 40+ hours a week, on your own after your 18th birthday, married, kids, cars, mortgage…the list is almost endless, you’re not productive. Work. Produce. Consume. Work. Produce. Consume. 

Workplace, office, boss

We often hear the comparison that our body is a machine. It’s not. If you lose an arm in an accident, it cannot be replaced. You are a biological organism with a set of parameters we need to be in to maintain our health.

Society puts a lot of pressure to put on a person and it’s unrealistic and quite frankly, not everyone wants all these check boxes marked off. But even for those people they will still get asked why haven’t you X or when will you to Z. The very posing of these questions, as innocuous, as they may seem, are a source of stress and anxiety.

Thinking, Worrying
Ego is certainly a large source of stress and anxiety. Suppose you are one of the check box fillers, those are a lot of boxes to mark off in a certain amount of time. Ego will make you think you are in competition with someone else. You’re not in competition. Ego will make you think you’re less if you don’t accomplish one by a certain time. You’re not less. Ego will have you concerned with, and striving to live up to, what others think of you. Why? They’re not you.

Chirp…

When the signs of stress make themselves known, and they certainly will, it’s important to love yourself and to listen attentively to what your body is telling you.

Mindfulness and meditation is a wonderful and nurturing way to bring back balance and harmony to an unbalanced and harmonious lifestyle. Mindfulness and meditation help to cultivate a healthy perspective about life. What’s important and what’s not. What can you control and what you cannot. What to hold on to and when to let it go. 

A Man Meditating

Mindfulness and meditation won’t alleviate your budget report due at the end of the day. Mindfulness and meditation won’t shorten the time of your commute to work. Mindfulness and meditation won’t necessarily change your boss’s attitude.

But mindfulness and meditation will allow you to have a healthier relationship with your mind and body and with those around you.

To make an analogy, mindfulness and meditation is like changing that chirping smoke detector battery.


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Why I don't Use My 'PhD'.

Credentials. Some have them. Some do not.

Some are necessary. Some are not.

When we walk into a doctors or lawyers office, we often see all types of diplomas on the wall. From where they went to undergraduate school, graduate school, or even to some form of professional specialization within their respected field these pieces of paper are prominently on display. 

Diploma, Graduation

Doctors’ degrees such as the PhD, the Doctor of Philosophy, the M.D. the Medical Doctor, and the J.D. the Juris Doctorate, certainly all require a significant portion of one’s time and effort in graduate school and then successfully passing some type of state certification to be earned.

I fall into the first category, the PhD. But when you come to our meditation center, or look around our website, or even on any marketing material, you will not find any reference to doctor or PhD anywhere.

Why is that?

When I first obtained my doctorate, before I embraced Buddhism and mindfulness, I was very much a ‘title’ person. I even enjoyed the little perks that came along with it. Upon hearing ‘Dr. Zivkovic’ it inflated my ego, my sense of better than you, it was a thin protective shell for the ‘hey, look at me and what I did’.

Now as I look back with mindful reflection, for me, my title or degree has nothing to do with the quality of the messages I convey to you. My messages on the Dharma and mindfulness all originate from my heart and are transmitted with love, compassion, and wellbeing to each one of you. This is not something a certificate or degree will ever contain.

But doesn’t a PhD give you credibility when speaking to others?

No. For some, seeing these letters may offer some reassurance, but in my opinion these letters may get someone some initial attention but does the message they speak hold true. It very well may and I am pleased for them. But this is not how I prefer to transmit my message. If the letters offer you reassurance, I respectfully ask that you ask yourself ‘why’? Look deeply within yourself to find that answer.

As for me, when you come across what I say, I hope you find value in the words I say and not only because I have some letters after my name.

What is your PhD in? 

Diploma Certificate

I have a PhD in Geology. But that’s not why I don’t use the ‘PhD’ in my message. It’s not that I feel unworthy or that it might be misleading in some way or even some form of ‘clickbait’’ to get attention. To me, doctor, or any other title is divisive. They promote divisiveness and not unity. An air of superiority instead of belonging. And as Dharma beings we are all connected as one. This is much the same as your little toe belong to ‘you’ as does a single strand of hair. Your toe is neither superior nor inferior to this singular strand of hair.

And you are neither superior nor inferior to anyone else. We are all connected with love, compassion, and empathy in the Dharma to all and you don't need credentials for this.


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

Facebook

Instagram

AmazonSmile


Thursday, March 3, 2022

Being Honest With Yourself In Light Of Criticism.

How do we know when other who offer us suggestions for improvement are sincere? We sometime ignore other people’s comments and categorize them as ‘what do they know’, ‘mind your business’, or ‘did I ask for your opinion’.

True, sometimes people talk just to talk and offer their wisdom or thoughts on even the most trivial of matters. A lot of advice or suggestions may come from a well-intended place but often lack the depth to be truly meaningful. 

Older man talking

The Buddha was once quoted as saying’ “Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the wind, so are the wise unshaken by praise or blame.”

 Unshaken doesn’t mean to ignore or get agitated to what someone may have said to us but instead, perhaps offers us a moment to pause and consider our action or behavior. It is to remove ego from our introspection and to look at the intent of what was stated to us.

For example, a guest at a wedding makes the comment that the brides’ hair should be down instead of up and that her hair stylist made her look unattractive on her special day. Is this a necessary comment? Not at all. It’s an unnecessary opinion that has no bearing on either party and the critique is superficial. Consider how the bride or the hair stylist would feel if either one had heard this comment. Their feelings would be hurt.

Now consider another example, as you light up a cigarette after dinner, a dear loved one kindly and with calmness, reminds you that smoking is unhealthy. Of course, you are aware of the health hazards of smoking by now but continue to do so. Do you get angry when this loved one shows concern for your wellbeing?

Perhaps. But when you search inside and remove your ego, you know that you’re not angry with them but instead are upset with yourself.

In any situation, praise or blame, there’s no need to get arrogant, haughty, angry, ashamed, or embarrassed. Instead, be unshakable. In the smoking example, know that this gentle observation was done with love and care for you. Remember, shame and quilt are controlling behaviors.

No matter what you do in life you will encounter both supporters as well as detractors. And supporters and detractors may come from family, friends, or even total strangers. 

Fans at a concert

There are a lot of examples that could be put in place here instead of a wedding or smoking but the important understanding is when do we need to be honest with ourselves and connect with who we truly are.

Being honest with ourselves is the same as being nonjudgmentally aware of our present surroundings, the essence of mindfulness. And to promote and foster this awareness we begin by returning to our breath.

Breathing in, I know ego is a thin skin easily bruised. Breathing out, I release quilt and walk with gratitude. 

woman meditating

With this simple, yet introspective, mantra we understand that ego is nothing more than a thin barrier to understanding who we truly are within. 

The face you see in the mirror is only a shell, the most recent iteration, of your essence. And when we recognize ego for what it is we may let go of the guilt we may carry thereby walking with gratitude.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Monday, April 19, 2021

The Controlling Self

Letting Go Of The Future.

Put your hand over your heart. Take a few moments to feel the pulse of each beat.

Feel your breathing. Take a few moments to feel each rise and fall of each breath. 

Can you stop or control either one? For how long?

Think about a time when you said something you later regretted (either right then or later). 

People arguing
How did it make you feel? Was that the real ‘you’?

In some sense we all want to control ourselves and others as well as situations. But are any of these actually feasible?

With the exception of yourself most often the answer is no. We are not in control of others behavior, no matter our position in relation to them. What you are in control of is yourself and how you react to a situation.

When I say 'a situation' remember, I am not only referring to something what may be perceived as negative but it very well could be positive in our perspective.

But what is control at it's very essence? Control is the desire to influence the future to your benefit. Is this type of manipulation something that is even possible?

Think again of when you tried to control your breath a few moments ago. You were able to withhold your breath for only a few moments. After that your body probably started to feel discomfort. You soon realized it was necessary to let go of trying to control and let each breath return to a normal rhythm. There was only so much we could do.

People and situations are very much like this exercise in holding your breath, there is only so much you may do and each person will behave in accordance to their own rhythm, whether it is positive, neutral, or negative.

Let's think of an example that is almost always interpreted as negative - a cheating significant other.

How would you react?

Most would be extremely hurt and because of this hurt they may react violently towards the other either physically, or verbally, or both. This lashing out is a result of hurt ego. An ego that wants to control a certain behavior of another.

However when you step back and view the situation from an entirely different perspective you may see that you were more deserving of a partner who respects you. Often though this realization comes too late or, because of a hurt ego, not at all. Remember, it is never acceptable to act violently towards another.

Let's look at another example, one that could be viewed as positive - a work promotion.

You've worked at a company for many years and finally get the recognition and promotion you feel deserving of. With this promotion comes the added responsibility of leadership.

Being in a position of leadership can often give someone the feeling of control and arrogance. And because of this newly vested authority, you want to make a good impression with your superiors and begin to micromanage the most mundane tasks. This makes your subordinates uneasy and resentful, perhaps to the point of requesting a transfer or even resigning their position. This type of control is an example of an inflated ego.

Maintaining balance within oneself is vital to harmony, not only for your benefit but for the benefit of others as well. Daily reflection or meditation is often necessary to help one achieve the balance that is often sought. So please, take the time to develop your inner being. 

As always, please feel free to post your comments or replies below.

Wishing you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation And Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

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