Friday, December 23, 2022

What I Think About You: A Mindfulness View Of Self And Others

You may have heard a saying something to the effect that when we judge someone that is a quality within ourselves we do not like or covet. Something akin to looking at ourselves in a mirror and finding flaws. For instance, if you see someone you feel is overweight maybe you assume something about their lifestyle. 

You may describe them with words like, lazy, sloppy, unmotivated, or gluttonous. But you yourself haven't been to a gym or exercised in years. Maybe you have a health condition that precludes you from doing so...maybe they do as well. You judged someone knowing nothing about them. 

Judge

Do you find yourself condemning a particular persons (celebrity or other) action whom you personally do not even know? Maybe they wore an outfit that made a headline and you made a judgment about that style or a recent role they played in a movie. Maybe your coworker ate a little too much at the company's annual potluck lunch and you made a comment under your breath about portion size.

Consider this, if you are joyful that you are alive, that you are capable of walking this Earth, doing good for other, then how do you have the mindset to judge others? When we see that celebrity wearing an expensive dress or suit be joyful for them. They worked hard, just like you do. And even though their circumstance is not like yours they are deserving of the same joyful emotions that you seek.

When an individual or group of people are the beneficiaries of a windfall that at one time you might have been a part of be joyful that someone has had their burdened eased. Jealousy, envy, the 'what about me' statements are poisons that destroy wellbeing. 



These examples, and many more, are judgments of not someone else, but of ourselves and reflect the suffering we are experiencing.

So how may you start to minimize and then ultimately stop judging? We simply start small.

You don't like her lipstick? They're not your lips so it's not an issue for you.

His belt is on the last hole? Maybe the belt has was a gift from a loved one who passed.

This person has a face tattoo or piercings. They are working hard to provide for their, or family members, daily care just like you.

As you catch yourself in these small situations the practice naturally migrates towards larger examples, like a co-worker get the promotion you felt should have been yours.

Woman meditating

As mindfulness practitioners we engage in non-judgmental awareness, ‘this is this and that is that’. It is neither good nor bad, neither desirable nor undesirable. It simply is. By adopting this mindset, we allow ourselves to truly experience freedom and liberation from hurting ourselves and others. We reduce the suffering in the world.

When you allow openness into your mind and heart you no longer have room for judgment. Instead, that space has now been filled with the joyfulness and compassion for others...and us.


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Tuesday, December 13, 2022

Have You Done Enough? A Mindful Approach To Accomplishment.

We've all pushed through some form of challenge whether it was physical, mental, or career related. As humans we enjoy seeing our limits from time to time but to what extent. Do we cease when we break a bone or sustain some injury? Do we only realize we've gone too far personally or professionally when a valued relationship comes to an end.

So what are some early signs that we have indeed done enough we may bring awareness to before a negative outcome results. 

One of the first signs that comes to mind is continuously working long hours, regardless of if you have a family or not. This notion certainly goes against the mindset of todays modern world of 'being productive'. 

I encounter this mindset during many conversations I have. It is irrespective of gender too and afflicts male and female equally. As a result of this unsustainable and unhealthy notion these people have not only increased their daily stress but have also increased their chances for health issues.

Another sign that comes to mind is brining your work home with you. Imagine your life totally revolving around your job. Although it's important to do a 'good job' while you're at work it's more important to have healthy boundaries in place. No matter what your job title or position you hold in any organization you are replaceable. You are not replaceable to your family. Your health is not replaceable. And your well-being is certainly not replaceable.

A third sign that often presents itself sleeping too much. When you do settle down on a weekend or holiday do you spend most of it trying to 'recuperate' from the weeks work? This is your bodies way of telling you that you are doing too much. When you are sleeping and healing from the previous week are you neglecting others, like a spouse or children? Are they not in need of your presence as well?

Finally, have you ever questioned yourself, however slightly, by saying 'why can't this be over', or some statement to that effect. This is your mind and your body telling you that, yes, you've done too much. As mindful practitioners it's important that we bring awareness to all of our thoughts and evaluate them with openness. It's a cultural tendency to say no, we need to do more, and push ourselves to unhealthy extremes. That notion is unsustainable in the long-term.  

Consider an empty cup. Begin to fill it with water until you reach the just below the brim. You can pick up the cup without worrying about spilling any water. Now, add more water, just to the top of the brim. It's certainly harder to pick up and move around without spilling a drop. Now, what happens when you continue to add more water? It spills over. Perhaps even staining the table cloth. 

Your mind and body are the cup. The water is what ever you do too much of. The table cloth could certainly represent your family and friends. 

One may not pour from an empty cup nor may one have a tidy life with too much bombardment from outside.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Saturday, December 3, 2022

Thoughts And Prayers And Mindfulness: Does It Work?

During times of sorrow and tears we often hear the words ‘thoughts and prayers’. These words are meant to offer comfort from the unaffected to the affected. But do these actions truly comfort them? Perhaps to some they do and that is a wonderful blessing. However, if we look more deeply into the ‘thoughts and prayers’ action maybe it’s meant to change the perspective of the one offering the ‘thoughts and prayers’.

If we change the terminology slightly from ‘thoughts and prayers’ to ‘mindful meditation’ we change the dynamic to one of sincere, personal reflection. When we send thoughts and prayers, we ask God to help ease the burden someone is experiencing. But God doesn’t interfere in that manner. He has left that important action up to us in the form of mindful meditation. 

As one sits in prayer they are focused on the suffering this person is experiencing. They open their hearts to them. As a result of this opening the emotions that naturally surface during this time revolve around compassion, empathy, and healing. No one desires to see another human being suffer in such extremes.

Let me offer an example, car seats. Before the use of car seats was made compulsory for children many children were severely injured or killed in car accidents. Thoughts and prayers (mindful meditation) were sent and eventually societies mindsets evolved to one that could not fathom how we did not better protect our children in the past. 

The evolution from no car seats then to car seats now did not occur overnight, over the course of a month, or year, but in fact took the better part of several decades. And during this time, a time of reflection and unfolding, mindsets that resisted such a positive movement with limiting statements like ‘I turned out OK’ or ‘I’d never confine my child like that’ eventually changed.

They changed not because a supreme deity waved their hand and changed their mind but because while they were offering thoughts and prayers ego gave way to compassion, stubbornness gave way to openness, and hardness gave way to empathy. This process happens slowly but it does happen. Remember, every single action we do is always proceeded by a thought. It may take some time for mindful thought to bloom in some, it nevertheless does. It happens one person at a time just like a jug is filled drop by drop. Right thought, which is always kind, leads to right action, which is always compassionate.

The more ingrained (or codified) a concept, notion, or idea is in a society the larger the jug and the more drops it will take to fill. And so, what often happens is that the ones who desire/crave a quicker change lose patience with those still in contemplation. This often leads to the shutting down of minds on both sides. Instead, patience is required even if during that time suffering is still occurring. Patience is a form of love and wisdom and is necessary to practice.

So, are thoughts and prayers working?

Yes, just not necessarily on the timeline some expect. Which is a different topic for discussion.


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Finding Gratitude In Times Of Hardship

The first Noble Truth of Buddhism easily states that there is suffering in life. Suffering is an inherent component of existence. Therefor we will experience days that are challenging, upsetting, or downright scary to us.

Maybe we miss our bus or train to work.

Traffic Jam

An important relationship of ours ends without warning.


Bad weather cancels an event we have been looking forward to for so long.


Or perhaps we receive the news that a loved one has passed away.


Any one of these situations or a multitude of others may make us feel that our day, our week, or even our lives are over. But these thoughts only reinforce our notion of permanence and clinging to 'way things were'.


However, when we remove these surficial response or our initial reactions of these feelings we begin to realize yes, that experience may not be what we desired or expected but it is here now.




The more we resist the experience the more we will continue to suffer from the experience.


We agree to accept the experience for what it is.


It’s only when we accept an experience that is hard or unexpectedly challenging that we are able to find gratitude in that present moment.


Imagine you come home from work one day and your home is empty.


On the table is a note from your partner saying that they were unhappy and felt it necessary to end this relationship.


Your initial response could be one of fear, or anger, or uncertainty. Who will love me? I’ll never make it without them in my life. I’m sure there are a lot of other things you may say as well in your mind if not aloud.


But notice the focus of these questions and statements: ‘Me’ 


And if we continue with these self-centered thoughts that are no-doubt debilitating and untrue about yourself we will not be able to find the gratitude from that experience.

Selfcentered


That experience taught you some valuable lessons or offered some important experience. 


Maybe you learned how to cook. Or balance a checkbook. Or paint. Or exercise.


If it was an exercise routine maybe you're in better physical condition than before. That's certainly a positive outcome from this relationship.


Another example could be the following.


Maybe your alarm clock malfunctions and you wake up late for work. Not by a little but by a lot. There is no way you’ll get to work at your scheduled time. You call your supervisor with some anxiety and trepidation but calmly let them know you’ll be late.


It turns out that there was a large power outage at 3 AM as a result of a passing storm and you’re not the only one that was affected by this unexpected event.


As you hang up the phone you look out the window and just above the horizon you see the most beautiful sunrise that you’ve seen in such a long time. You realize that this is a sight you haven't seen in a long time because by now you're in the office.


In this example there are at least two opportunities to be grateful for.


One, you were able to experience the beauty of the new day beginning. From the deep purples, to lavenders, to salmon, to a beautiful blue sky.


And two, you have a supervisor that is understanding of others challenging life experiences.


But not every experience is benign as a power outage so how do we find gratitude when a loved one passes? 

Two people supporting each other


The passing of a loved one elicits a much deeper emotional response depending on the level of bonding between two people, but what one may do is not to think of the loss of the person but to be grateful for the experience. 


There are now 8 billion people on Earth and you will only ever encounter a very, very small percentage of its inhabitants. So the fact that the two of you were able to share many times together is a very unique experience shared only between the two of you. And that gift is one that truly never disappears and is something to be grateful for. 


We will all experience times of disappointment, grief, sadness, and hardship. But how long we live in those moments is entirely up to us. And the more we focus on ‘us’ and not the moment we will continue to perpetuate a clouded perspective.


When we learn to respond to a situation rather than react to one we are able to find gratitude in it, no matter how saddening or challenging it is.


And when we learn to respond with openness instead of resistance, curiosity instead of certainty, love instead of fear, we are able to allow ourselves to experience the joy of gratitude.  


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Saturday, November 12, 2022

Mindfulness And The Philosophy Of Dana

Dana (Dah - Na) is a Pali word meaning generosity. Dana is the basis of Buddhism especially when we warmly look at the roots of this valuable principle. When we think of generosity, especially in the West, we often think of a financial gift and although it certainly can be, this first or second line of thought is a result of the type of society we live in. So much of what we do daily is based upon some form of commercial transaction. 'If I buy this expensive gift for them then they will get me something expensive in return'. Is that truly a gift of Dana? It's not and certainly represents a disconnect between money and Dana. 

Buddha teaching

When we look into the true meaning of Dana we see it's much, much more than money. Dana is unrestricted generosity, it is vulnerability, it is love. Let's consider you, your being for a moment. No matter where you are at this very moment, you have a body, you have a mind, you are alive. No matter what your position is on life and creation, you exist and that is a gift whether purposeful endowment or universal chemical mishap, it matters not.

When the Buddha transmitted the Dharma he often talked about generosity. But since Dana doesn't always include money how are we supposed to be 'generous'? 

We may simply start with ourselves. When we live an ethically guided life others cultivate trust in us. They trust our words. They trust our actions. And they trust our decisions. Being trustworthy is a wonderful gift we may give to others.

Presence is another generous gift we may offer. If we choose to have a child we expect to offer them a significant portion of our time. We love them. Nurture them. Bathe them. Feed them. Help them with homework as they enter school, and more. But is there more we may offer? Of course there is. Perhaps at your job they offer volunteer work with various humanitarian organizations. Helping others that you know have no way to help you back is truly generous.

Volunteers
Spiritual friendship is another wonderful gift we may offer. The third jewel of Buddhism is the Sangha. Although originally a Sangha was the monastic community we may lovingly expand that definition to include the community we live in. We support our neighborhood by maintaining our homes and yard if we have one. A well maintained home supports the entire neighborhood by being aesthetically pleasing. We are there for our neighbors in times of celebration, like a birthday party or births, and we are there for them in times of grief like the passing of a loved one. Spiritual friendship develops a well bonded community. 

We follow the Buddhas teachings as well as his example of living a wholesome life, not for any other kamma or merit than to help others. We were gifted our life so that we may help others ease their suffering. For easing some ones suffering makes the world a better place. And when some ones suffering has been eased they are likely to help another. This then becomes a wonderful chain reaction that is propagated through out the world. 


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Thursday, November 3, 2022

Acknowledging Your Generosity And Expressing Our Gratitude

Although we practice generosity and gratitude year round, in the United States November is a month where individuals and organizations express these sentiments publicly. These public expressions provide a sense of humbleness and modesty for individuals and organizations show a sense of vulnerability that is not often witnessed in our current society. For we truly know that no one is truly self-sufficient and we all rely upon one another in ways we don't often realize.

Beautiful Path And Sunrise
Below is our acknowledgment to all of you who greatly impact our path and benefit from our offerings:

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

As I reflect upon all of the good that's happened over the course of the year I know that it would not have been possible without all of your kindness in both donations and presence. It is important for us to acknowledge your kind generosity and how it has improved the many lives we have touched through our outreach efforts, on-line and in-person events.

The offerings that your generosity have made possible:

▪ Bi-weekly Guided Meditations and Dharma Talks.
▪ Weekly Sangha's: Healing, New Beginnings, Veterans, LQBQT+, and teens.
▪ A summer mindfulness retreat for teens.
▪ Personal guided meditations or mindfulness instruction for an improved life.
▪ Lotus Petals - our monthly news letter.
▪ Several day-long virtual retreats.
▪ Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher Training.
▪ Improved software, equipment and internet technology to warmly reach you.

Group Of Positive Teens
All of these programs and offerings are made possible by you, our practitioners, followers, and dear friends. And all of these offerings are offered without a required fee. As you may recall we are entirely donation based.

We provide these offerings solely to promote lovingkindness in a world that is in need of love and compassion. In other words we do what we do based on the Buddhist idea of dana.

Generosity and charity always positively affects at least two people, the giver and the receiver. Generosity allows the recipient to feel seen, cared for, a sense of security, and valued in a world where they may feel otherwise. Generosity from the giver allows them not only to earn merit but to know that they are helping a person or family live with a sense of security, peace, and wellbeing. The giver has made a difference in some ones life and what better way to foster and cultivate lovingkindness in our world.

As we begin to close out this calendar year we sincerely want to express our gratitude to all you for your support and look forward to your kind presence in the future.

For ways you may like to support our efforts please see visit our website at: www.blulotusmeditation.us.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Sunday, October 23, 2022

Spiritual Poverty and Material Poverty

I was listening to a talk a few days ago and Zen master was talking about poverty and he was specifically referring to what he described as 'spiritual' poverty.

Spiritual poverty includes the negative qualities of greed, indifference, apathy, laziness, jealousy, anger, envy...and more. Spiritual poverty is all of the negative attributes that perpetuates the suffering of an individual or group or society. 

Road Rage

Material poverty is what we would define as a lack of means such as financial stability, clean clothing, food, shelter, clean water, and employment.

In considering quality of life which do you think is most important to nurturing a more rewarding life? Material growth or spiritual growth?

Spiritual growth, of course.

Let's explore this a little more so we may understand why spiritual growth is more important than material growth.

Let's consider a financially wealthy business owner. Her goal is be the number one provider of shoes in her city. There is nothing inherently wrong with having aspirations that help others in their daily life, and shoes are an important item to quality of life. As part of her aspirations she buys a smaller shoe company and immediately fires all of the previous employees and fills their positions with lower paid workers. She does this so she may save a few cents per item while raising the price. Her motivation was not to help others but increase her own greed. 

This is an example of spiritual poverty and material excess. She was more concerned about 'being number one' at the expense and wellbeing of other human beings.

Generosity
Now, lets consider a different example. An elderly man of limited means who lives in an economically depressed neighborhood. Each morning he rises and expresses his gratitude for waking up and for all that he has. He walks outside and sweeps the sidewalk in front of his humble apartment and greets the morning passer-by's on their way to work. Shortly thereafter he enjoys a simple meal prepared with love and gratitude from money he earns from collecting cans and turning then into the local recycling facility. By the end of the day and before bed has offers thanks for what he does have, and not resentment for what he does not have.

Material poverty by itself does not necessarily lead to criminal behavior either, this is a common misconception. Criminal behavior is always a result of spiritual poverty. So when we have an abundance of spiritual wealth we are happy for what we have, we are happy to help others with no expectation of reciprocity, we do good because doing good is its own benefit. 


I wish you all peace, ease, and wellbeing.


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Thursday, October 13, 2022

My Mindfulness Morning Routine

Earlier this week was World Mental Health Day. A day in which we bring awareness to the importance of our mental wellbeing something of great human importance. If we were more honestly connected to our thoughts and emotions we would begin to see that the vast majority of our problems are truly not problems at all. We have become accustomed to reacting and not responding to our current situation.

Although I am pleased that we are affording a day in where we shift our focus to this nurturing and developmental habit, one day is not enough...but it certainly is better than zero days of awareness. We need to have this paradigm shift taken more sincerely.

To help those of you that may be interested in developing your own mindfulness routine I am pleased to offer you my simple, yet purposeful, morning routine. In actuality my morning routine really begins when I go to bed the previous evening. As I lay in bed I offer gratitude for the gift of living through another day and gratitude to all of the people I've encountered and helped in one way or another. My day concludes around 11:15 PM each night.

Man meditating
I only allow myself about six and one-half hours of sleep and waking up around 5:35 AM or so. I've been doing this for years and I follow this schedule for several reasons with the primary reason being moderation and balance. This amount of time is not too long nor is it too short. I'm not tempted to watch television in bed for the simple, yet deliberate reason that there is not one in our bedroom. That's what the living room is for. As I lay in bed for the next few moments, I offer gratitude for the gift of life, my wife, kids, furry friends, home, safety, and the wonderful opportunity I have to do good for others this day.

By about 5:40 or 5:45 I'm on the floor seated in meditation. My morning seated meditation session lasts for 35 minutes. Although I have different meditations I nurture during this time (lovingkindness, gratitude, connectedness, etc.) what I do not use this time for is to think about the upcoming day's to do list. When stray thoughts do make their way into my thoughts I simply let them go and shift back to my original meditation.

When my meditation session is over I remain seated, allowing my awareness to shift back to where I am. A few moments later I get up, make my coffee or tea, maybe do a dish or two that one of my kids left in the sink when they snuck down late at night for a snack, and I'm outside by about 6:40 AM to wait and watch the beautiful sunrise.

Sunrise
Most people miss this part because they're either not awake or not paying much attention to it. But to me this is truly the most rewarding part of my day. Seeing how the colors change from dark purples to pinks to light blue and then rich, crisp blue is truly amazing.

Sure, I know that the colors we see are the result of the incident angles of sunlight light penetrating the atmosphere but that doesn't matter. And in no way does that take away from the beauty that the world gifts us each and every day...if we only approach our days with mindfulness, curiosity, and gratitude.

That's how we improve our wellbeing.

And that's my morning routine.

I wish you all peace, ease, and wellbeing.


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Monday, October 3, 2022

What I've Learned From Water - And Bruce Lee: A Mindfulness Perspective

The famous martial artist Bruce Lee is often quoted as saying:  

'Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.'

Water Bucket
The story goes that one day he was riding in a boat and was very agitated and struck the water with his fist several times. And with each blow the water did not attempt to fight back. Nor did the water did not get angry. It simply moved out of the way. Shortly there after a bird flew by and its reflection was cast upon the water. Bruce then realized that he was a reflection of his own thoughts and emotions.

These were teachings his only formal master taught him but only then did it make sense to him. 

Very often we get in our own way when a challenging circumstance presents itself to us, we resist instead of accepting. When we accept a circumstance, the circumstance is still there but we may examine it more deeply. When we resist a circumstance, the circumstance is still there but we react with fear, ignorance, and anger.

As the bird few over the water, its reflection moved with it. The water did not try to hold onto this reflection or become the bird. It simply let the bird go. Emotions and feelings are much like this birds reflection. They come and they go. 

It's normal to have whatever emotion you're experiencing but like the reflection, don't hold on to them for long. Let them fly in and let them fly out. In other words, experience whatever emotion arises but do not try to hold on for too long. This is non-attachment.

Water doesn't try to get to the highest mountain top but instead always moves towards what is called 'base level', the ocean. All forms of water and reservoirs like lakes, ponds, rivers, streams, and rain all eventually return to the ocean. And they do so effortlessly.

Moist Grass
So to achieve the balance you seek, accept yourself by going with your nature and not against. Learn to respond and not react. Flow around the obstacle. See the reflection but do not try to always be the reflection for it too is impermanent.


I wish you all peace, ease, and wellbeing.


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Friday, September 23, 2022

Moving Out Of Your Mind Swamp

Life will always happen around us and to us. 

Whether it’s a fortuitous event like an unexpected handwritten letter from a dear friend, a neutral event like you’re sitting on a bus on your way to work, or one that may have significant negative implications like receiving some dreadful news about a loved one.


Woman With Painful Thoughts

Negative events seem to have a more lasting impact on our wellbeing than the positive or neutral circumstances. And if we allow ourselves to live in those moments too long they too can bloom into lasting anxiety, despair, and hopelessness.


When we dwell in the negative we are giving ourselves permission to be unkind to our being.


It’s not that you are not allowed to feel sad for a friend or sad for yourself at times. You are and these are normal emotions and it is why we have and experience them from time to time. But staying there too long will have an affect on your long-term wellbeing if not addressed mindfully.


If you will, recall a time when perhaps you dwelled in an unfortunate circumstance too long. Perhaps you were fired or laid off from a job. Maybe a long-term relationship was abruptly ended. Or maybe a much anticipated outcome did not come to fruition as planned. What did you do? How did your behavior change? How did it make your body feel? What thoughts were coming to mind.


Now, recalling that same instance, what brought you out of the negative mindset? You may answer friends, family, or even a vacation. If you said any of these, or something else, you’d be wrong.

 

So what then did bring you out of this negative mind-space?


It was you. No one has the power over you, that power of healing is something only you possess. No one may 'make' you feel any type of way. Your feelings are simply what 'you' give permission to or allow to bloom. No one may give you that gift other than yourself.

A Gift


Sure, others may point out or list the positives within you but it is ultimately your decision to say ‘yes, the good qualities they see in me are true’. And then you, no one else, decides to embrace them.


So what made you finally move from this saddened mindset to one of moving forward?


Maybe it was the realization that you are worthy. That you are not lacking or wanting.

 

You simply realized that the suffering you were allowing yourself to sit with was not healing. You were in what I call a mind swamp. You let go of a past that was anchoring you in a place that was un-nurturing.


But now reflect on how long it took you to realize your worthiness and not remain in this mind-swamp? Was it hours, days, weeks, months, or perhaps even years?


As mindfulness practitioners we know that all things, including circumstances are impermanent. And this is an important understanding because it reveals to us that life is truly beautiful when we are aware of this impermanent quality.

 

So how may we move past our mind-swamp into someplace more nurturing?



We will look towards the Buddha for some of his insightful teachings.


One method he suggests as teaches is:

If some unskilled thoughts associated with desire, aversion or confusion arise and disturb the mind, you should attend instead to another characteristic  which is associated with what is skilled . . . It is like a skilled carpenter who can knock out a large peg with a small peg.

You simply replace the negative thought with one that is more wholesome and welcoming. This may sound simple but it can be hard because we like to hold on to what we're comfortable with, even if it's painful.  


The second method the Buddha suggests when dealing with disturbing thoughts is:


Scrutinize the peril of these unskilled thoughts by thinking: 'these are unskilled thoughts, these are thoughts that have errors, indeed these are thoughts that are of painful results . . . It is like a woman or a man, young and fond of adornment, who if the carcass of a snake or a dog were hanging around their neck would be revolted and disgusted and throw it away immediately as soon as they noticed it.


Here you recognize that these thoughts are harmful, have impacts, and will, without a doubt, perpetuate your suffering. When you are lost in your negative thoughts you will continue to justify them. Simply let them go. 


I would like to leave you with this about the power of your thoughts again from the Buddha:


The thought manifests as the word;

The word manifests as a deed;

The deed develops into habit

And habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care

And let it spring from love

Born out of concern for all beings.


Take time to reflect on these teachings and examples and see how best they may fit into your own lives.


I wish you all peace , ease, and wellbeing.


Vladimir


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