No one wants to suffer. We all seek to have a more balanced and harmonious life with ourselves, others, and our surroundings. One environment people tend to spend a significant time in is at their workplace. While there we often see posters or pictures or even coffee mug slogans from people who proclaim this harmonious desire yet their daily actions suggest quite the opposite.
Like any illness, when someone is suffering, symptoms present themselves in a manor of ways. Since we often spend a significant amount of time in a work environment one may experience firsthand some of these symptoms that may, if not addressed with compassion and empathy, will affect office dynamics in a negative way.
People will, on occasion, have a 'bad day' which may impact interactions temporarily. But what about the the employee who is continually difficult not only in meetings but even around the watercooler?
One, no matter how intimate they are with another, will never truly know what another is thinking or feeling. We will never know what is going on is someone else's homelife. Therefor it is always important to treat everyone we encounter with kindness.
Difficult behavior often presents itself as rudeness, arrogance, the 'one upper', bluntness, pettiness, anger, sarcastic, short temperedness, and even impatient towards others. There are certainly many root causes, too many to include here but all have the same solution.
Anger is not cured with anger. Rudeness is not remedied with rudeness. Impatience is not treated with impatience. All of these harmful conditions may simply be treated with lovingkindness.
We would never treat an illness with another type of illness, simply put one does not treat pneumonia with the flu virus. Continuing the suffering of another living being does not promote healing for that being.
When we experience hurt from our difficult colleague our action could be one of embracing warmth. Let them know that you 'see' them and that you 'hear' them. You are not required to agree or to disagree with their statement but just the simple acknowledgment of the statement is enough. Let them know that you are open to warmly and with mindful intent listen to their concerns. Sit with them at lunch. Perhaps even buy a raffle ticket or magazine subscription that supports their child's activities. Offer them praise when a job is well done, no matter how small the job was.
As with all changes, they typically do not occur overnight. Recall your mindfulness journey as an example. When we simply listen to and acknowledge another being for their worth, their presence, and their effort, new seeds will begin to root and eventually blossom given the proper nurturing environment. You have the opportunity to be the warm sunshine, the thirst quenching water, or the fertile soil, or yes, possibly all three to this suffering being.
We all have something to teach and we all have something to learn from someone else. And these gifts may never be truly realized if kept sequestered under the vail of suffering.
And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,
Vladimir
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