Exploring Mindfulness For Teens

Being a teen in this day and age is much different than when your parents were your age. I'm sure you've heard this before. This same sentiment was certainly felt when your grandparents talked to your parents as well about most of the same concerns. If you choose to have children, these same feelings and sentiments will be expressed to them. It's a normal cycle from parent to child. 

But for now, let's explore mindfulness today and how it will benefit your current as well as your future wellbeing. Your thoughts and concerns about so many changes and new experiences may all seem overwhelming. So as you read this know that this time, right now is all about you, your relationship with your parents, teachers, friends, the future, and the most important relationship you’ll ever have: with yourself.

So many aspects of your life are at a point where they may feel like they just want to burst out. This is normal. Our bodies experience many different sensations that are a result of our brains releasing different hormones into our system. This may, at times even manifest itself in an uncomfortable physical sensation. 

Sometimes, depending on the intensity of the sensation our mind may construct some type of story which oftentimes isn't true. We may feel overly sensitive to some from of rejection when there was no intended malice. Before we respond, we need to mindfully examine the situation for what is is and not what we 'think' it is. 

So when we experience these uncomfortable sensations it is important to recognize these conditions in the moment so we may bring mindful awareness to them. Remember, being mindful is also being non-judgmental towards having those feelings.

As a teen I'm sure you have many different types of relationships, but how do you walk a wholesome path with your relationships? 

How do your peers feel? Your peers have the exact questions as you and are experiencing the same feelings of uncertainty you are, although they may express it differently.

Some common questions you may have are:

    - Do my friends like me? Sure, they're your friends!

    - What will I do after high school? Does it truly matter? I promise you it doesn't but what does matter is how kind you are. That's what people will remember.

    - Are you the class clown? This 'hey, look at me' suggests that one is desiring affirmation or some form of positive reinforcement from a bad behavior. A sarcastic remark perhaps?

    - Social media presence. Keep it 'G - Rated'. There was an old saying during World War II that went 'loose lips, sink ships'. You don't want that sinking ship to be yours next week, next year, or five-years from know. Besides, you shouldn't be doing hurtful things anyway, right?

    - Parents. Yes, they love you and yes, they're proud of you. Sometimes parents get mad at you because of 'their' expectations for you. It's an extension of their world view that doesn't necessarily align with yours. Be cool about it and simply bring awareness to the fact that they don't want to see you hurt.

    -Teachers. This is a hard job, no question about it. Imagine you coming into work each day and seeing probably over 100 different people each with their own unique personality and needs going through life changes. Not to mention teachers are people too that are also dealing with sometimes stressful life events. Be empathetic and compassion towards them. 'After' you graduate recall a few of the good ones and friend them on Facebook (old people don't use Snapchat) and keep in contact with them. Knowing they made a positive difference in a students life is truly why they're in the profession.

    - Yourself. You will always have you. The face in the mirror will change as you get older but your essences will always be 'you'. Long after your body has ceased to exist, your conscience will always be there. Do good and engage in kind actions in this life so that you have a better future in this life and the next.

As you begin to experience more situations it’s important to start now to develop the necessary skills to mindfully address not only adversity and disappointment but overwhelming joy and good times as well. Both circumstances can lead to additional suffering if not viewed appropriately.

How can too much joy cause suffering?

When either side of our emotional state is out of balance suffering occurs but when we are too overjoyed for too log we develop an emboldened ego. This leads to feelings of superiority which may lead to risk taking behavior.

You will make mistakes along the way, we all do, including adults, and the mistakes we make aren’t the problem. It’s living in them long after they have occurred. Learning to let go of guilt and shame are liberating and allow you to experience life in a more wholesome way. Learning to let go also holds true to those who may have hurt you.

So how can you, as a teen, begin mindfulness practice?

Meditation is certainly involved in the process but even before you begin this truly search your feelings before you speak or engage in an action. Ask yourself, is it wholesome?

Be certain to help others. Look at service activities at your school (homeless, food pantry, relief funds). Being of service to others develops empathy and compassion and lets go of greed and callousness.

Do your best to try and not wish away your life. Statements like 'I can’t wait until I get my drivers license, or go off to college' take you out of the present moment. Being mindful is about being in the present moment, not the future nor the past.

Apologize first, no matter what the offense. This offers grace and compassion to both of you.

Use kind speech and don’t be sarcastic. The humor wears out quickly and is unappealing even when people laugh.

And last but not least, join our teen sangha - it’s free Wednesdays at 3:30 PM CST. It's important to have a mindful community to help you along.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Mindfulness As A Family Practice

Mindfulness and meditation isn't a way of life that's about solitude or sequestering ourselves from others. In fact, it's very much the opposite. When we look at the purpose of mindfulness and meditation we see that it’s focus is on connections and the easing of suffering. Not only our suffering but others as well.

This inherent nature makes a mindfulness and meditation practice ideal for the family that will help strengthen this vital relationship.

Let's explore ways to include the family.

As is often the situation whenever there's a new aspect involving family it’s not uncommon that we find some resistance. This resistance is often true with teens but may present itself in anyone. As a mindful behavior we don’t force or shame anyone to try these practices.

Be the roll model. It's important to let others witness first hand the benefits that come from a mindfulness practice. But as a reminder, these benefits don't appear over night so be patent.

Here are some wonderful and readily available home examples:

• Let family members visible see you practice mindfulness
• Mindful walking
• Outside and in the home
• Journaling
• Cooking
• Eating
• Cleaning
• Driving
• Shopping
• Talking
• Laundry
• Even meditation

As you mindfully engage these activities invite someone to try any one of the above (or more) mindful actions. For the resistant family member you can even ask them mindful questions nonchalantly.

For example, if you're cutting a carrot for a salad ask them ‘where do you think this carrot came from’? Prompting them to go from the store all the way back to the farm.

Follow up by asking ‘how do you think the body will react to receiving the nourishment from the carrot’?

Continue by asking ask them to cut the carrot, if they’re old enough, and have them describe how it feels to slice it. Is it easy or hard? Is the fragrance pleasing? What about the texture and color?

Like all new ‘habits’ mindfulness may take some time to nurture and to come into its own, and that's OK. Our bad habits are the result of the constant bombardment of our worlds distractions and negativity and wont dissolve in a matter of weeks even. Give it time. Be patient. 

As you slowly progress feel confident in knowing that your family is growing and unfolding from one that was distracted to one that is blossoming.

And as a reminder to you below are only some of the positive outcomes of your families new journey.

Benefits of a family mindfulness practice:

• A more nurturing family relationship
• No yelling or arguing
• Trusting
• Quality time instead of ‘busy’ time.
• Stronger outside relationships too
• Accepting of others
• Empathetic of others
• Compassionate towards others
• Improved grades for school age children

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Opening Your Heart To Understanding Others

Life is like a box of chocolates…full of wonderful surprises, but sometimes we bite into something we may not like. And what you may not like someone else may find joy in. Likes and dislikes are as varied as flowers on the planet.

With this myriad diversity of tastes is where we open our hearts so that we may better understand why someone may have a particular interests or behave in the way they did. We listen with mindful awareness.

Regardless of whether we like what we’ve bitten into, we have learned a valuable lesson. And with the right perspective this too is a positive.

What does it mean to open to others?

Opening to someone else's perspective shows you value them as a living being. It's not necessary that you even like their perspective or action. It's merely the acknowledgment of their existence that's truly powerful. Recall a time when something you said or did that was glossed over with a nonchalant shrug. Did you feel seen or valued at that time?

It shows that you are opening up to vulnerability.

This may be the hard part for most as we often view vulnerability as a weakness. Look at all of the tough guy movies people seem to love. Characters in these fictional stories are often the loner type with a grudge against the world. Ego gets involved and clouds your judgment. Think back to a time when you thought it was 'right' to be unmoving in front of someone else because you felt you couldn't show an imaginary weakens.

How to be open to others?

Empathy. Recall a similar experience (hard or joyful) you faced; it doesn't need to be exactly like theirs. Don’t respond with ‘toughen up’ or ‘if I can do it, so can you’ or similar phrases. Phrases such as these are hurtful and suggest to the listener that their actions or feelings are less than.

Compassion. There’s nothing wrong with someone or yourself in being ‘soft’. Remember, the world is full of suffering. As Dharma and mindfulness practitioners, when we help ease the suffering of others, we help ease our own suffering. We also show compassion by adhering to personal boundaries. If we always say ‘yes’, we may be perpetuating suffering. Listening and not speaking while the other person is talking. Avoid saying ‘you should have / could have’ comments. Instead, if you have insightful suggestions phrase ‘have you tried’ or what works for me.

Avoiding gossip. Gossip perpetuates suffering and is neither nurturing nor developmental to ones wellbeing. Remember 'Right Speech' from the Noble Eightfold Path. When we listen to such talk, we are diminishing the persons experience in favor of a hurtful moment.

In order to understand someone we don’t necessarily need to have experienced the same exact situation as they. In fact, two people that experience the same situation may and often do take away completely differing experiences.

For example, when I was in Marine Corp boot camp, I had an enjoyable experience overall (don't get me wrong, it was still challenging!). Others, not so much and they had an extremely hard time. So, when we want to understand others suffering we need to open ourselves up with empathy and compassion to their experiences without judgment.

So as you bite into each new experience with someone be sure you do so with openness so that you may truly learn and potentially teach from the experience.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Purpose And Goals: A Mindful Approach

Purpose and goals. These are two words we frequently hear and often misuse. What is your purpose in life? Where do you see yourself in five years? Let's explore the differences and see if there may be an overlap between the two.

In living, sentient beings, purpose is not function or usefulness. Purpose is simply 'meaning' in the spiritual sense and may only be bestowed on a living, sentient being. A screwdriver cannot have 'purpose' because it is not alive, obviously.

Whereas a goal is a desire that may only be accomplished in the future. Therefor once it’s been achieved it’s no longer a goal. I would like to eat lunch today. I see myself as a business owner. Or I would like to finish college by next year. As you see we may have many goals in life.

Do you need 'purpose' to live a meaningful life? We all would like to think so. We would like to think that our existence will have a positive impact on at least one person. So, the question of ‘do I have purpose’ may weigh heavy on your mind.

So how do we answer this question from a Buddhist and mindfulness perspective? For this discussion we are going to exclude any notion of divinely derived causality for our existence and simply look at what the Buddha taught.

When we look at Buddhas very first teaching he explains the Four Noble Truths: There is suffering in the world, attachment is the cause of suffering, there is a way to end suffering, and that way is the Noble Eightfold Path.

No one wants to suffer and that’s why we have goals. We hope that with a college degree we may get a better job which will ease our suffering. Or maybe we’d like a bigger house in the country away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Or perhaps we'd like to move into the city because country life is too quiet.

But accomplishing any one or more of these goals will not ease your suffering for any meaningful length of time. If you get a bigger home, then you might need to worry about protecting your possessions and get a security system. Certainly this scenario cannot be the purpose of your life, can it? 

Let’s circle back to the First Noble Truth, there is suffering in this world. Since we know this to be a factual statement then couldn’t our purpose be to help ease the suffering of others? Rather than focusing on ‘I” or “me’ as we have been taught instead, we shift our perspective to ‘we’ and ‘others’. This paradigm shift is certainly meaningful, for what greater good can there be than helping those that are suffering.

Buddhism isn’t about achieving enlightenment or Nirvana. These outcomes may be the result of the practice and maybe not even in this lifetime. The heart of Buddhism is easing suffering for us and others and the way to accomplish this is through the Noble Eightfold Path. Following this path, even to a small degree, helps you change your outlook to one that is purposeful and meaningful instead of one that is materialistically goal orientated.

Do you need purpose to have a meaningful life? The simple fact is you already do. It’s an innate quality of being born a sentient being and a quality that is often overlooked in our busy and distracted lives.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Dealing With The Anger Inside

We all experience anger at times and it’s important to determine the true cause of our anger. But before we do, I’d like to point out a common saying when it comes to anger and that is ‘it’s a normal human emotion’. So, I’d like to examine this very notion a little more.

We often associate ‘normal’ with ‘healthy’ and this misunderstanding contributes to more suffering. There are many things in this world that are ‘normal’ but unhealthy, radioactivity comes to mind. Radiation is a normal byproduct of some natural elements as they decay but exposure results in harmful effects to the living organisms. Anger is in the same category, normal but harmful.

When we examine the Buddhas wise words we come across where he talks about the three poisons – greed, anger, and ignorance and their destructive power. And he goes on to mention how each of these three poisons or mental conditions feed off one another. If we don’t get what we want (greed) we get angry. And when we get angry, we act without clear thought to try to acquire what we didn’t get (greed) in the first place. It becomes a perpetual cycle of suffering even though the specific object of our desire may change.

So how may we, with mindful awareness and care, minimize the harmful effects of anger?

The very first step is to recognize that we are angry. This may sound simple but can be difficult when we’re ‘in the heat of the moment’. Too often we don’t recognize the initial stages of anger, tight lips, tight chest, sweating, or beginning to feel hot, until it’s too late.

Once we recognize we are angry it’s important to accept that we are angry. Not at someone else but that we ourselves are angry. Anger is a condition that we have allowed to rise and as with all emotions we are solely responsible for it, no one else. Acceptance is taking responsibility for that response and not trying to bury or hide it with shame or guilt. For when we take responsibility for an emotion, we are then able to care for it which is our next step.

Caring for an emotion might sound funny, especially for one that has been described as a poison. But, caring for it is exactly what we must do.

Consider a screaming child, one who perhaps had a bad dream. We would never consider yelling at a child in such a state of fear to ‘be quiet’ or ‘go back to bed’. Instead, what would we do? We would hold and comfort the child, reassuring them that all is well and that they are safe. Soon, the child is fast asleep and back in their bed.

The same holds true with anger. We don’t fight it, nor do we ‘give in’ to it. Instead, we say ‘let me hold, comfort, and reassure you that you are safe’. When beings, and emotions, have feelings of warmth and security the only natural response is one of happiness, joy, and nurturing.

You too have the capacity to overcome anger and replace it with something more helpful and constructive and the Buddha has shown us a path to walk upon, The Noble Eightfold Path.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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How To Love One Another With Purpose

Learning how to love one another is vital to cultivating a healthy outlook on life as well as fostering a warm, caring society. 

Here are some of my mindful ways to help nourish love for self and others. In other words, watering your Dharma Heart:

• Listen non-judgmentally to those speaking.
• Speak or respond gently.
• Help when you can. 
• Smile at someone you know.
• Smile at someone you don't know.
• Smile at yourself.
• Talk with your neighbors.
• Don't judge someone by their clothing.
• Don't judge someone by their occupation.
• Don't judge someone by their possessions.
• Don't judge classes of people by what is said on TV.
• Most of what you see on TV is someone else's idea of what reality is.
• Turn off your TV.
• Let someone in your lane.
• Find compromise.
• Share.
• Be patient.
• Be forgiving.
• Show compassion.
• Show empathy.
• Be grateful for what you have.
• Show support for someone.
• Show support for yourself.
• Hug someone you love.
• Hug someone you don't particularly like. 
• Hug yourself.
• Tell someone you love them.
• Tell yourself that you love you.

This is certainly not an all exhaustive list but I hope that you try some of these ideas. I think you'll find them rewarding on many levels both personal and spiritually.

I'm reminded of the words of Burt Bacharach which I'll leave you with 'What the world needs now, is love, sweet love'. 

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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The Three Ages of Buddhism And The Return of Self-Liberation

Everything is impermanent and nothing may arise without the destruction or decay of something previous. This fundamental concept even holds true to Buddhism and the Buddhas teachings. During the fall of the Han Dynasty in the 3rd Century Buddhist history, or periods, were deduced and categorized into three ages. 

The Three Ages of Buddhism, sometimes called The Three Ages of the Dharma are:

• Age of the True Dharma
• Age of the Counterfeit Dharma
• Age of the Final Dharma

Age of the True Dharma

This Age began immediately after the Buddhas death and lasted between 500 or 1,000 years depending on the source material used. It was during this age when the teaching were still strong, individuals were capable of comprehending the meaning of the Dharma and thereby skillfully putting it into practice. As a result, many were able to attain enlightenment under their own power.

Age of the Counterfeit Dharma

During this Age the true teachings become obscured and only a semblance of the meaning exists. This Age lasts for 500 or 1,000 years depending on the sources used. However, what is notable during this Age is that only a few people of great intelligence are able to grasp the Dharma skillfully thus achieving enlightenment. Buddhism was well integrated into societies throughout Asia. The decline in individual enlightenment may be in part due to the formalization of the practices, resulting in fewer people achieving enlightenment.

Age of the Final Dharma

This is the current Age in which we are experiencing and by all historical sources will last for 10,000 years. During this Age people are easily tainted by the Three Poisons: greed, anger, and foolishness. As a result, people lose their own aspirations for achieving Buddhahood. We may witness the deteriorating condition of people's feeble capacities, the loss of the meaning of the Buddhas teachings, and the bombardment greed, anger, and trivialities of modern society.

This resulting loss of faith in traditional practices and teachings as means of gaining liberation has led to the popularization of new modes of practice that rely more on an already-enlightened Buddha or a series of texts for liberation.

How do we, as individuals, return to the path the Buddha revealed to us so we may obtain our own Buddhahood? 

We may start by remembering the purpose of Buddhism and the Buddhas teachings which simply are the Four Noble Truths and the cessation of suffering. We suffer because we have attachments. From there the Buddha gave us the Noble Eightfold Path which contain precise qualities and instructions on how to achieve liberation.

So how do we view or incorporate the many Buddhist scriptures, texts, and venerable leaders transmitting the Dharma today?

If you pick up a dictionary and look up a word you'll get a single definition. If you pick up another dictionary and look up the same word you'll find a slightly different definition. If you pick up a third dictionary and look up the word, again you'll find a slightly different definition. Each dictionary offers the same intention or meaning of the term but is simply presented in a different way. 

The same holds true to the tens of thousands of Buddhist sutras, texts, and the many Dharma teachers and leaders. There is not a 'right' or 'wrong' way to transmit the Dharma as long as the Buddhas intent is not lost, the cessation of suffering.

When our words are kind and supporting instead of harsh or vulgar, when our actions are non-violent and unifying, instead of warring and divisive, when our thoughts are nurturing and beneficial instead of destructive and self-glamourizing, we are on our way to our own liberation.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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