Friday, January 13, 2023

Behaviors That Are Mindfully Unskillful

Oftentimes during our day we seem to navigate on 'autopilot'. Going through the motions of what has been our routine day in and day for years and even decades. These routines or behaviors, which we often overlook, are opportune actions to engage and strengthen our mindfulness practice.

I have selected some of the more common daily activities I think we all experience at some point and am warmly sharing with you how you may turn your innocuous habits into ones that may be transformed into times of mindful awareness.

Dinner

Cooking

Cooking may truly be an experience filled with sensations, smells, textures, and tases that are commonly overlooked. I know that by the end of your workday you may not want to do a lot of meal preparations. Perhaps not much more than slicing a few peppers or onions for spaghetti sauce is all the energy you're able to muster. Peppers and onions are more than enough to include in a mindfulness practice. Each pepper came from someplace, has it's own color that is slightly different than another, texture or crispness may easily vary slightly too. Onions, red, white, or yellow also have their own characteristics. When you slice into their layers does the aroma smell sharp and make your eyes water? Is one species more flavorful than another? Do you sauté them in olive oil along with the peppers before incorporating them into the sauce?

cars, traffic
Driving

When was the last time you truly 'felt the road'. After all that's what the automobile commercials sell to you, an experience worth experiencing. Your driving experience begins as soon as you open your car door. Is the handle cold or hot? When you sit are you sitting on an old fashioned bench seat or are you cradled in a bucket seat? How does your vehicle smell? Is it neat and tidy inside or is there trash all over? As you drive is the radio on and you're absorbed in the music or talk radio? Or are you truly paying attention to the minute vibrations in the steering wheel as you drive towards your destination. Are you lost in thought about yesterday or what you're expecting to experience once you arrive at your destination?

clothing. closet
Shopping

We all need to purchase items for nutritional, comfort, health, and safety and even entertainment at times. But what is your shopping experience like? Do you 'grab and go'? Do you buy what you'll use in the near future or to have 'just in case'. Maybe you wander up and down each aisle not looking for anything particular but allowing advertisers to subliminally catch your attention with their skillful packaging designs. Or maybe you carefully plan your trip, preparing a list of items you need and generally adhering to the list. Do you shop just to pass the time away either online or in-store? We all work hard for our money so why should we not be more discerning in how we part with our earnings. Select fresh fruits and vegetables according to each variety, but in doing so only purchase enough for one week. Buying too little, and you may run back to the store. Buying too much and you risk spoilage. When buying clothing, buy seasonally appropriate items that are replacements for something you have parted with or are willing to part with upon your return home. Remember higher prices or brand names do not equate to superior quality. When we bring awareness to each and every item we allow ourselves to live in that moment. 

confrontation, two women
Avoiding Painful Situations

The first Noble Truth states there is suffering in this world, but as humans we do our best to avoid situations involving hurting others, situations where the likely outcome is not in our favor, or those that challenge our personal beliefs. It is understandable that we all desire an easy life but it is impossible to avoid suffering. When we avoid something we are not skillful at, not only human interactions, we remain unskillful at it, we remain in an undeveloped condition. When we remain unskillful at addressing painful or hard circumstances we in fact perpetuate our own suffering as well as perpetuate or even increase the suffering of others. Whereas when we mature communication skills, suffering eases. We never purposefully decide to hurt an individual or group so we always approach painful situations with love and compassion for others as well as ourselves. We utilize Right Speech, Right Thought, and Right Action. 

firm talking
Talking

The purpose of talking is to relay information, thoughts, ideas, and feelings from one person to another. We all have the desire to be seen and heard. But do you listen to respond or listen to understand? The same desire that you have, to be acknowledged, the other has that same desire as well. Your view point or statement is no less or no more valid than another's view point. When we speak to respond we have closed our mind to what another is thinking or feeling. We are saying, to ourselves, that they are wrong and we are right. We have closed our ears, openness, and awareness to another their being, even if only momentarily.

Social Media
Social Media

It seems as if we've lost the ability to be comfortable with ourselves in silence without some form of stimulus. We may be sitting in a doctors office, waiting in traffic, waiting to meet someone, or even simply sitting at home on the couch. We're always looking for a distraction to take us somewhere anywhere but where we presently are. Scrolling mindlessly down your social media feed to look for the latest news that has zero affect (and effect) on your life, the latest clothing style that you'd never wear, conversations that are initiated or moderated by an AI algorithm promoting divisiveness, or even recipes that you have no intention of ever making. Social media does have its place. It truly is a wonderful application to help promote true, heartfelt, and meaningful connections if used with mindful awareness. But most use it as a form of escapism much like someone with depression may use drugs or alcohol to numb their pain.

woman, unhappy
Wishing Away Time

'Ugh, I can't wait for this meeting to be over' or 'If I had only done this yesterday'. How many times have you made a statement like this at one time or another. Statements like this minimize the value of the current experience, in fact it's judgmental. You're reinforcing the notion that the time you're currently in is less valuable than one in the future or past. The future is always unformed and therefor will always hold no value. You cannot not hold a loved one in the future, but you can in the present moment if they are with you. You may never relive a past moment. The same water will never flow under the same bridge again. The idea of wishing time away takes us out of the present moment and into times that no longer exist. This creates suffering because we are attaching an expectation to a moment that has passed or is unformed. This moment, the present moment, right now, is the most valuable.


Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,


Vladimir


You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

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