Monday, February 13, 2023

Mindfulness And Civil Conversations

How often do we see public figures speaking unkindly towards another person or group of people?

This results in suffering for all. 

Microphone

How often do we see videos where someone is verbally attacking another person?

This too, results in suffering for all.

It seems it’s easy to speak harshly towards another when we view them as less than we are. Maybe they’re African, Asian, Hispanic, Caucasian, Christian, Muslim, atheist, gay, straight, transgendered, conservative, liberal, or socialist. All you know is that they are not ‘you’ and you feel that justifies harsh speech.

Maybe someone made a mistake on your food order. Maybe your package arrived late and damaged. Maybe you had to wait in line too long for a service in your opinion. Perhaps you’re displeased with a grade on an assignment and your teacher is firm in their scoring.

It may even seem justifiable to express yourself harshly when your expectations are not met to your satisfactions. But it’s not. In fact, there never is an appropriate time to speak harsh words towards anyone, ever.

Civility in speech, behavior, and thought is vital to nurturing your wellbeing.

Let’s consider a viral video example: recall a video where you saw a woman speak harshly to someone over a parking space, or a food delivery, or any number of instances. We see the woman loud, perhaps even using profanity, and her hands and arms flailing during this instance. The recipient of her behavior, depending on the location and their position, may be doing their best to remain composed and trying to deescalate the situation. All during this experience someone is filming while others are exposed to harshness.

No one in this situation is experiencing a nurturing environment. The woman is now referred to as a Karen. This perpetuates her suffering. And all others, no matter their level of involvement, experienced a perpetuation of their suffering. 

Angry man

People who watch the video experience suffering. How? When you laugh at someone’s suffering you are harming your own wellbeing. You are watering the seeds of heartlessness. That is suffering even though you may not realize it.

Now consider, if you please, a public figure that makes wildly speculative and broad statements about any group of people. Perhaps they say that a certain group of people are lazy and don’t want to work. This statement may resonate strongly with this public figures’ supporters, increasing their popularity, but is it true? Of course not.

Degrading a group of people certainly is not civil in and of itself and not only continues suffering within that group but it also waters suffering in the supporters. How so? By allowing a group of people to feel a sense of superiority over another perpetuates that view point of ‘us versus them’. The ‘us versus them’ mindset is divisive. It sets up walls of intolerance. It doesn’t allow for compassion or empathy. It doesn’t allow you to see ‘you’ for ‘you’ nor does it allow ‘you’ to see others as ‘you’. It doesn’t allow you to see beyond yourself.

When we are mindfully aware of our present moment, we know that suffering exists and that we do all we may to help ease suffering for ourselves and for those around us. We are mindful of how we communicate. We are mindful of how we act and present ourselves. We are mindful in what we read. We are mindful in what we watch.

 

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

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