Wednesday, July 13, 2022

The Road to Suffering: Cravings, Desires, And Attachment

We breathe, we touch, we see, we get thirsty, we get hungry, we have emotions, and we have desires. Some of these are necessary for life. Others maybe not so much.

The Buddha tells us that desires or 'cravings' are the source of our suffering. It's not that humans can't 'want' or 'desire' food when we're hungry, water when we're thirsty, or companionship when we're lonely. These are necessary conditions for us to sustain life.

But what about the desire for the large home or the expensive automobile. Most may realize that owning a Bentley or Lamborghini, or the ocean cliff home are out of reach but the craving is still there. 

Luxury Cars
One reality some don't realize is that it's both the wanting and having that causes suffering. The suffering of wanting and then the suffering of keeping is self-perpetuated. So often with any possession, a dwelling, an automobile, various clothing, many books, and more, we allow inanimate objects to posses us which increases our suffering. 

Recall if you will, a time when you were looking forward to eating at a new and exciting restaurant. Maybe it was the new Korean barbeque restaurant or the new pizza parlor friends have been raving about. Whichever, you had but an expectation of how wonderful this meal would be, how succulent each morsel of food would taste.

Barbeque, BBQ
You order, wait patiently for your food to arrive, and the joy on your face is palatable when it arrives. The server places each plate directly within your reach. You bite into your first bite and find it tastes OK. Not great, but OK. You have experienced suffering due to a future you built about how this experience would be. This future never manifested into fruition.

You become angry, disappointed, saddened as a result. Your mind is now agitated. It never occurred to you that your cravings would not be met. And now that your mind is agitated you hold on to attachment of the unfulfilled expectation and money you spent.

My wife, who is Cambodian, has a saying that fits well here and with most of life's circumstances, 'don't care too much'.

This may seem passive or nonchalant but it really exemplifies 'The Middle Path', not too much, and not too little. Accept what life gives you as it gives you without too much expectation and with gratitude. 

When something goes your way, great. Enjoy it while it's there because it will pass. This passing may be to something more joyful, or unfortunate, or to something indifferent. 

When something unfortunate arises know that it too will pass. And this passing may lead to something joyful or to something indifferent. 

That's the beauty of life, it's always changing. It's impermanent. And it's this impermanence that allows us to appreciate what we do have, life, in that very, singular moment. We know that that moment will never, ever, come again. 

Remember that cravings and desires are future wanting and not in the here and now. And attachment is the unacceptance that all things, good, bad, or indifferent, must pass.


And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,


Vladimir


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