Opening Your Heart To Understanding Others

Life is like a box of chocolates…full of wonderful surprises, but sometimes we bite into something we may not like. And what you may not like someone else may find joy in. Likes and dislikes are as varied as flowers on the planet.

With this myriad diversity of tastes is where we open our hearts so that we may better understand why someone may have a particular interests or behave in the way they did. We listen with mindful awareness.

Regardless of whether we like what we’ve bitten into, we have learned a valuable lesson. And with the right perspective this too is a positive.

What does it mean to open to others?

Opening to someone else's perspective shows you value them as a living being. It's not necessary that you even like their perspective or action. It's merely the acknowledgment of their existence that's truly powerful. Recall a time when something you said or did that was glossed over with a nonchalant shrug. Did you feel seen or valued at that time?

It shows that you are opening up to vulnerability.

This may be the hard part for most as we often view vulnerability as a weakness. Look at all of the tough guy movies people seem to love. Characters in these fictional stories are often the loner type with a grudge against the world. Ego gets involved and clouds your judgment. Think back to a time when you thought it was 'right' to be unmoving in front of someone else because you felt you couldn't show an imaginary weakens.

How to be open to others?

Empathy. Recall a similar experience (hard or joyful) you faced; it doesn't need to be exactly like theirs. Don’t respond with ‘toughen up’ or ‘if I can do it, so can you’ or similar phrases. Phrases such as these are hurtful and suggest to the listener that their actions or feelings are less than.

Compassion. There’s nothing wrong with someone or yourself in being ‘soft’. Remember, the world is full of suffering. As Dharma and mindfulness practitioners, when we help ease the suffering of others, we help ease our own suffering. We also show compassion by adhering to personal boundaries. If we always say ‘yes’, we may be perpetuating suffering. Listening and not speaking while the other person is talking. Avoid saying ‘you should have / could have’ comments. Instead, if you have insightful suggestions phrase ‘have you tried’ or what works for me.

Avoiding gossip. Gossip perpetuates suffering and is neither nurturing nor developmental to ones wellbeing. Remember 'Right Speech' from the Noble Eightfold Path. When we listen to such talk, we are diminishing the persons experience in favor of a hurtful moment.

In order to understand someone we don’t necessarily need to have experienced the same exact situation as they. In fact, two people that experience the same situation may and often do take away completely differing experiences.

For example, when I was in Marine Corp boot camp, I had an enjoyable experience overall (don't get me wrong, it was still challenging!). Others, not so much and they had an extremely hard time. So, when we want to understand others suffering we need to open ourselves up with empathy and compassion to their experiences without judgment.

So as you bite into each new experience with someone be sure you do so with openness so that you may truly learn and potentially teach from the experience.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Purpose And Goals: A Mindful Approach

Purpose and goals. These are two words we frequently hear and often misuse. What is your purpose in life? Where do you see yourself in five years? Let's explore the differences and see if there may be an overlap between the two.

In living, sentient beings, purpose is not function or usefulness. Purpose is simply 'meaning' in the spiritual sense and may only be bestowed on a living, sentient being. A screwdriver cannot have 'purpose' because it is not alive, obviously.

Whereas a goal is a desire that may only be accomplished in the future. Therefor once it’s been achieved it’s no longer a goal. I would like to eat lunch today. I see myself as a business owner. Or I would like to finish college by next year. As you see we may have many goals in life.

Do you need 'purpose' to live a meaningful life? We all would like to think so. We would like to think that our existence will have a positive impact on at least one person. So, the question of ‘do I have purpose’ may weigh heavy on your mind.

So how do we answer this question from a Buddhist and mindfulness perspective? For this discussion we are going to exclude any notion of divinely derived causality for our existence and simply look at what the Buddha taught.

When we look at Buddhas very first teaching he explains the Four Noble Truths: There is suffering in the world, attachment is the cause of suffering, there is a way to end suffering, and that way is the Noble Eightfold Path.

No one wants to suffer and that’s why we have goals. We hope that with a college degree we may get a better job which will ease our suffering. Or maybe we’d like a bigger house in the country away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Or perhaps we'd like to move into the city because country life is too quiet.

But accomplishing any one or more of these goals will not ease your suffering for any meaningful length of time. If you get a bigger home, then you might need to worry about protecting your possessions and get a security system. Certainly this scenario cannot be the purpose of your life, can it? 

Let’s circle back to the First Noble Truth, there is suffering in this world. Since we know this to be a factual statement then couldn’t our purpose be to help ease the suffering of others? Rather than focusing on ‘I” or “me’ as we have been taught instead, we shift our perspective to ‘we’ and ‘others’. This paradigm shift is certainly meaningful, for what greater good can there be than helping those that are suffering.

Buddhism isn’t about achieving enlightenment or Nirvana. These outcomes may be the result of the practice and maybe not even in this lifetime. The heart of Buddhism is easing suffering for us and others and the way to accomplish this is through the Noble Eightfold Path. Following this path, even to a small degree, helps you change your outlook to one that is purposeful and meaningful instead of one that is materialistically goal orientated.

Do you need purpose to have a meaningful life? The simple fact is you already do. It’s an innate quality of being born a sentient being and a quality that is often overlooked in our busy and distracted lives.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Dealing With The Anger Inside

We all experience anger at times and it’s important to determine the true cause of our anger. But before we do, I’d like to point out a common saying when it comes to anger and that is ‘it’s a normal human emotion’. So, I’d like to examine this very notion a little more.

We often associate ‘normal’ with ‘healthy’ and this misunderstanding contributes to more suffering. There are many things in this world that are ‘normal’ but unhealthy, radioactivity comes to mind. Radiation is a normal byproduct of some natural elements as they decay but exposure results in harmful effects to the living organisms. Anger is in the same category, normal but harmful.

When we examine the Buddhas wise words we come across where he talks about the three poisons – greed, anger, and ignorance and their destructive power. And he goes on to mention how each of these three poisons or mental conditions feed off one another. If we don’t get what we want (greed) we get angry. And when we get angry, we act without clear thought to try to acquire what we didn’t get (greed) in the first place. It becomes a perpetual cycle of suffering even though the specific object of our desire may change.

So how may we, with mindful awareness and care, minimize the harmful effects of anger?

The very first step is to recognize that we are angry. This may sound simple but can be difficult when we’re ‘in the heat of the moment’. Too often we don’t recognize the initial stages of anger, tight lips, tight chest, sweating, or beginning to feel hot, until it’s too late.

Once we recognize we are angry it’s important to accept that we are angry. Not at someone else but that we ourselves are angry. Anger is a condition that we have allowed to rise and as with all emotions we are solely responsible for it, no one else. Acceptance is taking responsibility for that response and not trying to bury or hide it with shame or guilt. For when we take responsibility for an emotion, we are then able to care for it which is our next step.

Caring for an emotion might sound funny, especially for one that has been described as a poison. But, caring for it is exactly what we must do.

Consider a screaming child, one who perhaps had a bad dream. We would never consider yelling at a child in such a state of fear to ‘be quiet’ or ‘go back to bed’. Instead, what would we do? We would hold and comfort the child, reassuring them that all is well and that they are safe. Soon, the child is fast asleep and back in their bed.

The same holds true with anger. We don’t fight it, nor do we ‘give in’ to it. Instead, we say ‘let me hold, comfort, and reassure you that you are safe’. When beings, and emotions, have feelings of warmth and security the only natural response is one of happiness, joy, and nurturing.

You too have the capacity to overcome anger and replace it with something more helpful and constructive and the Buddha has shown us a path to walk upon, The Noble Eightfold Path.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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How To Love One Another With Purpose

Learning how to love one another is vital to cultivating a healthy outlook on life as well as fostering a warm, caring society. 

Here are some of my mindful ways to help nourish love for self and others. In other words, watering your Dharma Heart:

• Listen non-judgmentally to those speaking.
• Speak or respond gently.
• Help when you can. 
• Smile at someone you know.
• Smile at someone you don't know.
• Smile at yourself.
• Talk with your neighbors.
• Don't judge someone by their clothing.
• Don't judge someone by their occupation.
• Don't judge someone by their possessions.
• Don't judge classes of people by what is said on TV.
• Most of what you see on TV is someone else's idea of what reality is.
• Turn off your TV.
• Let someone in your lane.
• Find compromise.
• Share.
• Be patient.
• Be forgiving.
• Show compassion.
• Show empathy.
• Be grateful for what you have.
• Show support for someone.
• Show support for yourself.
• Hug someone you love.
• Hug someone you don't particularly like. 
• Hug yourself.
• Tell someone you love them.
• Tell yourself that you love you.

This is certainly not an all exhaustive list but I hope that you try some of these ideas. I think you'll find them rewarding on many levels both personal and spiritually.

I'm reminded of the words of Burt Bacharach which I'll leave you with 'What the world needs now, is love, sweet love'. 

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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The Three Ages of Buddhism And The Return of Self-Liberation

Everything is impermanent and nothing may arise without the destruction or decay of something previous. This fundamental concept even holds true to Buddhism and the Buddhas teachings. During the fall of the Han Dynasty in the 3rd Century Buddhist history, or periods, were deduced and categorized into three ages. 

The Three Ages of Buddhism, sometimes called The Three Ages of the Dharma are:

• Age of the True Dharma
• Age of the Counterfeit Dharma
• Age of the Final Dharma

Age of the True Dharma

This Age began immediately after the Buddhas death and lasted between 500 or 1,000 years depending on the source material used. It was during this age when the teaching were still strong, individuals were capable of comprehending the meaning of the Dharma and thereby skillfully putting it into practice. As a result, many were able to attain enlightenment under their own power.

Age of the Counterfeit Dharma

During this Age the true teachings become obscured and only a semblance of the meaning exists. This Age lasts for 500 or 1,000 years depending on the sources used. However, what is notable during this Age is that only a few people of great intelligence are able to grasp the Dharma skillfully thus achieving enlightenment. Buddhism was well integrated into societies throughout Asia. The decline in individual enlightenment may be in part due to the formalization of the practices, resulting in fewer people achieving enlightenment.

Age of the Final Dharma

This is the current Age in which we are experiencing and by all historical sources will last for 10,000 years. During this Age people are easily tainted by the Three Poisons: greed, anger, and foolishness. As a result, people lose their own aspirations for achieving Buddhahood. We may witness the deteriorating condition of people's feeble capacities, the loss of the meaning of the Buddhas teachings, and the bombardment greed, anger, and trivialities of modern society.

This resulting loss of faith in traditional practices and teachings as means of gaining liberation has led to the popularization of new modes of practice that rely more on an already-enlightened Buddha or a series of texts for liberation.

How do we, as individuals, return to the path the Buddha revealed to us so we may obtain our own Buddhahood? 

We may start by remembering the purpose of Buddhism and the Buddhas teachings which simply are the Four Noble Truths and the cessation of suffering. We suffer because we have attachments. From there the Buddha gave us the Noble Eightfold Path which contain precise qualities and instructions on how to achieve liberation.

So how do we view or incorporate the many Buddhist scriptures, texts, and venerable leaders transmitting the Dharma today?

If you pick up a dictionary and look up a word you'll get a single definition. If you pick up another dictionary and look up the same word you'll find a slightly different definition. If you pick up a third dictionary and look up the word, again you'll find a slightly different definition. Each dictionary offers the same intention or meaning of the term but is simply presented in a different way. 

The same holds true to the tens of thousands of Buddhist sutras, texts, and the many Dharma teachers and leaders. There is not a 'right' or 'wrong' way to transmit the Dharma as long as the Buddhas intent is not lost, the cessation of suffering.

When our words are kind and supporting instead of harsh or vulgar, when our actions are non-violent and unifying, instead of warring and divisive, when our thoughts are nurturing and beneficial instead of destructive and self-glamourizing, we are on our way to our own liberation.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Songkran 2023

This year I had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate Songkran at Wat Buddhavas in Houston, Tx. with my mother, her husband, my wife, and my daughter. Songkran is the Thai New Year although it is also celebrated throughout Southeast Asia in countries such as Cambodia, Viet Nam, and Laos. 

The term Songkran is a Sanskrit word meaning 'to move' or 'movement' and marks the solar New Year and is celebrated over a period of three days. Celebrations during this time involve making merit with visiting temples or pagodas and making offerings to the monks. Songkran is also known for its 'water festival' where people pour water over statues of the Buddha as well as over the hands of the monks and elderly. This water pouring represents purification and the washing away of bad luck. Streets are often closed and people enjoy playful water fights and sometimes also throw a white powder at each other too.

Wat Buddhavas is a beautiful Wat and has 8 monks including the Abbot. When I arrived Saturday night after driving down from Minneapolis most of the activities were concluding but there was still much going on. People were eating the various types of street food such as noodle soup, fried bananas, stick rice, and grilled meats. What was really nice was to see the level of involvement of young people. Too often I find that when immigrants come to the US their children loose so much of what their culture offers simply so they may 'fit in' here. To see otherwise here was certainly a nice reprise.

The next day, Sunday, we arrived at the temple around 9:30 AM. My mothers husband, Yutana, is a former monk and leads or emcees the various events such as Songkran. At 10:30 we all sat in the temple where we enjoyed the monks chanting and the alms-giving ceremony. It was during this event that I was walking behind the monks as they collected their offerings from the lay people in attendance. Offerings consist of rice, foods, and money which after collected are sorted and counted all in support of Wat.

From 11 - 12 PM the monks and the lay people enjoyed lunch together. It is customary that lay people cook food and offer it to the monks. What's leftover, and it's always a lot, is shared joyfully with all in attendance. At 1 PM we all gathered back in the temple to listen to a sermon about the meaning of Songkran and to receive the blessings from the monks. Lastly, at 2 PM we all walked around the temple three times in celebration of Songkran and then bathed the Buddha, monks, and elders.

Holidays, no matter the origination, are an important part of ones culture. They carry meaning and significance that are necessary to maintaining cultural identity, cultural connections, and family connections especially when one is far away from the country of origin. Festivals such as Songkran are open to the public and allow for those outside of the particular community to learn more about them. Learning about other cultures, instead of shying away from them as something 'foreign', builds understanding which sometimes seems to be in short supply.

It is when we understand one another that unity and peace are able to be cultivated and fostered.

Happy Songkran 2023 my dear friends.

 

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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The Dharma As A Career Guide

Where to go after high school? 

Should I go to university, join the military, or get a regular job?

What career path should I choose?

What if my career choice doesn't go as planned?

There are questions many of our older teens and some adults face when a change is upon them. Uncertainty often waters fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. These are examples of suffering.

But suppose there were some guidance to help support a positive, nurturing decision that will certainly have an impact on your life...as well as the lives of others.

When we look at the Eightfold Path in its entirety, we see that it offers us a way to live a wholesome life in general and this is a wonderful realization. 

But most of us need to have an income, a way to support ourselves and perhaps others if we have a family is a necessity, so we are fortunate that the Buddha has given us this guidance.

Right Livelihood is the fifth component of the Noble Eightfold Path and is part of the division of 'Ethical Conduct' along with Right Speech and Right Action. This is an obvious arrangement being that whatever career you decide upon needs to be uplifting for yourself and others. We should also note that your choice, by default, will not violate the Five Precepts: 

• abstaining from killing living beings, 
• stealing, 
• sexual misconduct, 
• lying, and 
• refraining from intoxicating substances

If we were to construct a definition of Right Livelihood inclusive of the Five Precepts our career choice is one that is uplifting, increases happiness, develops wisdom, and nurtures well-being, all the while easing the suffering in world. 

The Buddha does not tell us you should do this job and you do that job. He lets us know that whatever career we decide upon, as long as it aligns with Right Livelihood, it's not a wrong choice. 

But what I think many overlook, even with today’s mindset, is that no one is forced to stay in one particular career for their entire working life. On the contrary, we are told that everything is impermanent, and this includes a career decision we made for ourselves years ago. People stay, often unsatisfied, in a career because of attachment. People become comfortable with routine, even if it's toxic to their well-being.  

Mindsets that reinforce this attachment sound like 'I'm too old to start over', 'I have bills to pay', 'I'm the only one who knows what to do there'. If you are watering these types of statements to yourself, justifying why you remain where you're not growing, you are not nurturing your well-being thereby not easing suffering. It may be time for a healthy change. 

It's important to understand one does not need a high level of education or a fancy job title to ease suffering in our world or for personal satisfaction. One simply needs to remember that satisfaction and joy are elicited when we let go of the attachments of living in the past or future (I shoulda's and I coulda's), bring mindful awareness to our present moment, and serve others with compassion. This is opening your Dharma Heart. 

Remember, a career is simply a way for one to sustain bodily needs and that may be accomplished in almost any career. But to walk the Noble Eightfold Path, earn merit, and to ease suffering requires one to have discipline, empathy and compassion for all living beings. This is your Noble Journey and no one else’s. 

How you go about this is entirely up to you, and that’s the beauty of impermanence, choice, and wide path of Right Livelihood. No one can or should ever tell you that you need to follow an exact career path to achieve satisfaction.

Wishing you continued peace and wellbeing,

 

Vladimir

 

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram at @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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