Your Side Hustle, Balance, and Wellbeing.

When You're Spread Too Thin

How often do we see, hear, or read about someone and their side hustle? Maybe you're a part of this crowd.

Having a secondary or an additional part-time job is nothing new. I've done in my past. In fact, in my twenties I had four part-time jobs as well as attending university full-time. I remember how hard it was to find balance between work, school, and time for myself. 

As I look back now I understand I was not kind to myself as a result. I was in the cycle of doing and acquiring and not really 'doing' as I would describe it today. 

My definition of 'doing' in my fifties is more like The Beatles lyrics to know without knowing, to see without seeing and to do without doing. It's about letting go to achieve more of what is truly important in life.   

But let's think about the word 'hustle'. 

Unless you're a product of the late 70s and are familiar with the disco dance of the same name you probably have conjured up an image of a game of three-card monte, a game of billiards or cards in a shady, smoked filled room. 

Either way, the word hustle doesn't imply peace, calm, or balance. In fact, it has the opposite meaning.

When we have more than one 'hustle' or 'priority' one tends to receive more attention than another. This situation may be manageable in both the short term and long term. But what about three, or four, or perhaps five hustles?

Unquestionably, your wellbeing will begin to suffer. Mindful attention will be lost. The purposeful quality you striving for in each task will be lost. The beauty of life will not be evident. The relationships you are trying to strengthen and provide for will begin to weaken. 

When asked why a relationship is over, very seldom is it said because you are a hard worker and brought in a lot of money but more often the response is you are never here. All in the name of a 'side hustle'.

In the Noble Eightfold Path we are taught about Right Mindfulness and Right Contemplation. When we find ourselves pulled in many, often competing, directions we lose both of these important qualities. We wont achieve the peace, joy, and ease of suffering without all of the steps in the Eightfold Path working harmoniously together. 

If you are working one job while trying to start your own business, that's perfectly fine. One must have an income to survive. 

But if you're working one job and have several different business ventures all the while why trying to balance a family, the quality in all will begin to diminish. 

Mindful attention in your responsibilities will be lost. You will not have the wellbeing you seek. There is also the possibility of losing all.

Instead to help return to the present moment return to the breath. 

Breathe in and say 'my happiness exists right here, right now'.

Breathe out and day 'my wellbeing is built in the now'.

Remember, it's fine to have wonderful intentions of where we'd like to be but not at the expense of today, the here, the now. 

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

When Your Pot Is Too Small?

Knowing When You've Outgrown Your Environment

An intrigal part of our personal growth and development is recognizing when we've reached our potential in a certain environment. This environment could be a relationship, a social group, or even a career. In not holding onto a past that no longer offers warmth and development the Buddha gave a wonderful analogy that as a snake sheds its skin so too must we shed our past.

What once started off as a wonderful and loving to grow has reached its limits. It's also important to understand that this cycle of growth is normal and healthy for us. However, when we remain in these environments anxiety, unease, or perhaps even a sense of contempt may begin to manifest within. This is the unhealthy aspect of staying.

How can you recognize when your pot is becoming too small in these environments?

You may begin to develop thoughts of 'why am I still here'? 'I'm wasting my time'. Thoughts of this nature are initial signs and allowing the continued watering of these seeds of negativity perpetuates an unhappy circumstance for all parties involved.

When we are mindful of ourselves and others we know that there may be times where we have outgrown or learned all that a situation has to offer. When we come to this conclusion it's important to approach both with grace and kindness.

Like an Oak tree growing in a pot who realizes their pot is too small, there are two opportunities that we may be grateful for as we make this growth transition. The third option is least desirable as we walk along our path.

The first, being grateful to the current situation. For it is here that you learned to develop into who you are now. You have grown. This is the normal and healthy part of your growth. For example, imagine having the same mindset or views at 50 years old as you did at 20 years old. That would not be a healthy condition to exist with as one would develop conflict with peers their own age.

The second, being grateful for the new opportunity that lies ahead. You may have an idea what this is, or you may not. If this new opportunity has been thrust upon you as part of an unknown event, a layoff for example, welcome it with openness and intrigue. With the right perspective it can lead you to wonderful realizations about yourself. Both of which can lead you down a new and educational path of development.

The third option would be to remain in this limiting environment. This will not be beneficial to your personal growth and development and oftentimes is regressive or destructive towards your mental wellbeing. And just as worse you will make others suffer as your negativity will begin to show.

When the time comes to severing these ties be thankful to whomever you speak to and realize that they have learned from you as well and that this may be a challenging time for them too. We must ease suffering for all involved.

Promoting kindness in all we do, even to ourselves, is an important aspect for our own development and growth and it's a loving action to change our pot.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Where to now? A Mindful Approach To A New Year.

Approaching The New Year With Mindful Intent.

With the onset of another new year here how do we know where to go? How do we mindfully set out with positivity, self-compassion, and understanding in determining what is right for our own personal growth and development.

Many people set out to make New Year's resolutions with the intent of improving themselves from last years shortcomings. 

The very essence that someone recognizes in themselves that there is an opportunity for growth is such a beautiful realization and should be celebrated. 

Some people don't have this insight while others minimize and write it off.

After many years myself of making goals and resolutions and not achieving what I had set out to do became routine until I approached these growth opportunities with mindful appreciation.

First, consider the deep meaning of the words resolution or goal.

They're both very hard, binary, cold, and unforgiving. They're words used in a business setting and not necessarily appropriate for personal growth.

Instead, I have adopted the word 'intention'. Intention is forgiving, warm, and compassionate. If I am slightly short of what I set out to do I'm allowed to say 'I did my best'.

Whereas if you didn't meet your goal or resolution, you've failed. 

That's very hard on a person and doesn't allow for life to unfold as it will. One lesson in mindfulness is to be kind to yourself.

For example, if you set out to read 10 books this year and sometime in late summer a life event happens that alters your pattern you may find out that you've read eight. 

If you've used the word goal or resolution you've failed in what you've set out to do.

If you've used the word intention you understand that something significant happened over the course of your life and you had to make a caring adjustment. You still read eight wonderful books that you might not have read at all.

Realizing right from the beginning that our very own verbiage we chose to use sets us on a positive, uplifting path or conversely along a path that is hard, cold, and unforgiving.

Secondly, allow for flexibility. No one can see the future, not even into the very next moment. Remember impermanence? 

Impermanence is knowing that all we see, feel, and is in existence will some time in the future not exist. That includes your current state and station as well.

For example, we are still experiencing the effects of COVID and all of it's variants. In 2019 we had no foresight nor understanding as to what 2020 or 2021 would bring. Yet alone what will happen in 2022.

So to gain a more compassionate understanding, here and now, I invite you to reflect on any 'goals' or 'resolutions' that were not able to be fulfilled during those years?

Do you or did you feel that you were a 'failure'? I certainly hope not. 

As challenging as it was, and still is, you were understanding and embraced a sense of openness towards what would unfold the next day.

So in walking along your path towards your own unfolding, continue to embrace this same mindful openness and compassion with your own 2022 intentions.

Happy New Year.  

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization

Mindfulness, Schools, and Our Children’s Mental Wellbeing

Incorporating A Safe Space For Our Children

There was a TicTok video circulating recently calling for violence in our schools across our society. Although law enforcement determined this to be a non-credible threat many parents chose to keep their children home. Some schools even closed. My daughter text me to come pick her up early due to her not feeling safe in her school, regardless of the additional police presence.

This text message and ensuing conversation with her caused me to pause and reflect not only on this type of situation that has become an all-too-common occurrence but to many other forms of anxiety and fear within our school system. 

Setting these types of gross violent incidents aside for a moment, consider how often our children experience bullying, ridicule, and instances of ostracizing on a daily basis.

These non-newsworthy actions result in feelings of anxiety and fear in a child in a place that is designed to enrich our young peoples lives.

When we think about our children being bullied we often neglect the ‘bully’ themselves. But they too are victims of fear, violence, ridicule, and anxiety, more likely as a result of some form of trauma at home. 

So here too, a child’s home, is a place that is supposed to be supportive, comforting, and safe for a them but yet it isn’t.

So where is a young person, a child, supposed to feel safe during their day if needed?

Think about a location where you would want to retreat to in these circumstances and what you find comforting, relaxing, non-judgmental, and safe.

During my reflection a thought entered my mind. A room with no tables, no chairs, no aromas, but only soft, clean, and inviting cushions to sit on, and low, and soft, ambient lighting. A room of tranquility.

Notice I make no mention of sounds or aromas. This is deliberate because sounds and aromas may trigger the memory of trauma which is what we’re trying to avoid in this room.

Imagine if this type of room were readily available at all times during the school day. Who could potentially use this type of safe space?

I’m sure we can picture a child who is bullied in this room but what about the ‘popular’ girl or boy who is being sexually molested that we have no idea about. Or perhaps it’s the child who is unassuming, who avoids attention because they don’t cause trouble but yet they feel alone inside with screams of pain well hidden from all.

People need a retreat, a safe space, somewhere to regain their balance. A room of tranquility has the potential to offer this to some child in need.

A room of tranquility doesn’t need to be staffed with a mental health professional. It could be staffed with a teacher, an administrator, a priest, a rabbi, a volunteer senior citizen. The only requirement needed is non-judgmental listening if needed and no offerings of advice or suggestions.

Maybe this is the room where a student realizes that their life has value. Maybe this is the room where a student reaches out to a trusted adult to let them know what is happening at home. Maybe this is the room where a student realizes that committing an act of violence in their school will only cause more suffering.

Something to consider, don’t you think?
 

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Mindfulness For Introverts

Understanding Social Anxiety With Mindfulness

I would like for you to consider the word introvert for a moment.

When we think of someone who is or who describes themselves as an introvert what qualities come to mind?

Quiet? Shy? Or meek, perhaps?

Perhaps you self-identify as introverted.

Would you be interested to know that social scientists have classified four types of introverts?

I'll briefly define these four below but I'd also remind you that as with all mindful considerations, it's possible to be fluid with these terms, meaning that even if we do not consider ourselves introverted we will recognize some of these qualities in ourselves.

The Social Introvert. This describes the tendency to prefer spending time in smaller groups of people or alone.

The Thinking Introvert. This describes the tendency to spend a lot of time absorbed in your imagination and the inner landscape of your thoughts.

The Anxious Introvert. This person reflects the need to spend time alone because the company of other people prompts feelings of shyness, social awkwardness, or lack of confidence. Alone, one might dwell on past experiences or worry about future ones.

The Inhibited Introvert. This simply means one is more likely to act with restraint than impulse. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to spend time alone, in fact that’s often how we meditate or study. Myself included. And at times we all have or will exhibit these qualities. We are not pigeon holed into one specific category at any given time.

However humans are by nature social animals and by being social is how all of the many wonderful societies we see today came into existence.

However being excessively introverted can impact the balance of your being. Most often missing out on connecting with others. 

Sometimes the reasoning is ‘ I don’t like people’, I have enough friends’ but if someone is honest with themselves most often the more honest reason is something else. And that something else is usually a fear of not being accepted or good enough.

So we must explore this a little more. All fear is a result of living or projecting an outcome that is somewhere in the future. A future that does not exist. Even if it’s based on a previous experience, this current situation is not the one that has already passed

We need to bring ourselves into the present moment.

With mindful breathing and attention, acknowledge your present feelings - I feel nervous. I feel scared. I feel unworthy. It’s OK to identify each and every one.

Then explore each of those feelings you’ve identified and ask why they are there? You may find that in fact, they serve no helpful purpose in being there. At the end of your examination, let them go.  

Depending on how many emotions you’ve identified during your inventory will correspond to how long you’re mindfully examining each and every one. Therefore it’s important to remember this is about your overall personal growth and not necessarily an overnight success. It may take time to unlearn what you’re accustomed to doing and to learn and recognize the positive growth you’re working towards.

I wish you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

The Importance Of Mindful Self-Reflection

Understanding Where We Are To Walk Forward.

How do we know where we're heading? Are we on a balanced and harmonious path? Did we offer compassion as we walked our path? Where may we improve?

As with all personal growth it's important to look back and reflect from where we were to where we are and to determine what, if any, adjustments need to be made.

Reflection is our way to see where we started to where we are presently.

As the year begins to come to a close and a new year is approaching December offers us a more opportune time to self-reflect.

Self-reflection can be difficult for some since it requires us to look at ourselves with honest, non-judgmental awareness. We tend to view all that we do through our own lenses without the benefit of the ones we come in contact with.

Our memories are not vaults nor are they hard-drives capable of recalling memories on a whim so trying to recall details from an entire year in a few days can be daunting. It's expected that we forget details, emotions, and thoughts about certain instances. and the further away from the moment the less we may be able to recall accurately.  

So to help with this introspective task it helps to have something tangible in-hand. 

This is where journaling comes in which is an easy way to help record feeling, thoughts, and many other details about a particular event or day in particular. Even if you didn't write an entry every day but only a few times a week is better than not having anything. We can also include what others may have said to us so we may consider their perspective as well.

Depending on the number of entries listed your review may take several days or weeks, but that was the point right? To capture the precious, joyful moments of your life, the mundane moments, as well as those hard and upsetting times as well.

As you progress through your review you may even find that what was initially considered mundane really had a more significant meaning. 

As you review your entries here are some examples of what your reflection could look like:

- Was I as compassionate to myself and others as I could have been?

- Did I offer forgiveness as often as I should have?

- With the coming of the New Year how may I offer compassion and       forgiveness more freely? - Did I walk with mindful awareness as often as I could have? - Was I as forgiving to myself and others as I truly believed I was?

Maybe you can tally up times that you offered compassion to someone in need, or when you were offered compassion when you were in need. Whatever your intentions were for the previous year, this is a wonderful time to assess them and make the necessary adjustments. Or, if you were satisfied with what transpired perhaps it's time to consider where to go for the upcoming year.

Remember, your path is an endless journey of compassion, love, and awareness with yourself and others around you. 

Wishing you peace and ease,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

The Importance of Gratitude

Opening Our Hearts To Receive Joy

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, we often become more mindful of what we’ve been fortunate to have received, or not received, over the course of the year. We reflect on the trials and tribulations we’ve overcome, as well as fond memories formed, accomplishments and achievements, all the while rejoicing in being here, in the present moment. 

I would think that 2021 has been better than 2020 for most of us and that is something to be thankful for this year. Although we celebrate Thanksgiving with food, laughter, hugs, and affection, Thanksgiving contains a much deeper meaning.

As I write this I’m listening to My Life by The Beatles. It may sound like a sad song but if you listen to it it’s a beautiful reflection of ‘people and things that went before’. Everything in life changes, people, places, and memories will not remain the same. As a result of these changes, we reflect on the past with a certain nostalgia making it necessary to cultivate thankfulness for what we have received, even if it’s a memory of loss or hardship.

Although we may be grateful for someone holding open a door, letting us cut in line when we only have a few items, we truly recognize thankfulness when we overcome a situation where we were faced with the possibility of something precious taken from us. 

Overcoming these trying times with the support of family and friends, or even by yourself, is a wonderful accomplishment and illustrates the importance of being thankful, the essence of Thanksgiving.

Here are a few considerations you may be grateful for:

• Waking up this morning. Many won't and being alive is a wonderful gift.
• Clean air. You don't need to live on a mountain top or forest to appreciate a deep inhale and exhale.
• Clean water. You don't need to go to a well or river to drink. Fresh, clean water is right in your tap.
• Your clothing. Clothing is designed to protect you from the elements. No matter what you have on it's doing it's job and many do not have clothing as well.
• Shelter. You don't need a fancy home or even an apartment to be grateful for shelter. Shelter is anything that protects you from the elements, including a tent.
• Food. If you ate last night, you were more fortunate than many others.  

As you cultivate gratitude for what you have now, you may also bring mindful awareness to where you may be tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. When you have gratitude for what you have in the present moment you will ring this joy with you into all that you may have and experience in the future.

For it is when we are thankful that we are more open to compassion and forgiveness to ourselves and to others. So, as you begin to reflect this season, offer yourself compassion and forgiveness and reach out to those who may be hurting. Your caring voice may be the only one they hear and as a result maybe a bountiful cornucopia of blessings spring forward towards you both.

Wishing you all a joyful Thanksgiving,

Vladimir

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.