Moving Out Of Your Mind Swamp

Life will always happen around us and to us. 

Whether it’s a fortuitous event like an unexpected handwritten letter from a dear friend, a neutral event like you’re sitting on a bus on your way to work, or one that may have significant negative implications like receiving some dreadful news about a loved one.

Negative events seem to have a more lasting impact on our wellbeing than the positive or neutral circumstances. And if we allow ourselves to live in those moments too long they too can bloom into lasting anxiety, despair, and hopelessness.

When we dwell in the negative we are giving ourselves permission to be unkind to our being.

It’s not that you are not allowed to feel sad for a friend or sad for yourself at times. You are and these are normal emotions and it is why we have and experience them from time to time. But staying there too long will have an affect on your long-term wellbeing if not addressed mindfully.

If you will, recall a time when perhaps you dwelled in an unfortunate circumstance too long. Perhaps you were fired or laid off from a job. Maybe a long-term relationship was abruptly ended. Or maybe a much anticipated outcome did not come to fruition as planned. What did you do? How did your behavior change? How did it make your body feel? What thoughts were coming to mind.

Now, recalling that same instance, what brought you out of the negative mindset? You may answer friends, family, or even a vacation. If you said any of these, or something else, you’d be wrong.

 

So what then did bring you out of this negative mind-space?

It was you. No one has the power over you, that power of healing is something only you possess. No one may 'make' you feel any type of way. Your feelings are simply what 'you' give permission to or allow to bloom. No one may give you that gift other than yourself.

Sure, others may point out or list the positives within you but it is ultimately your decision to say ‘yes, the good qualities they see in me are true’. And then you, no one else, decides to embrace them.

So what made you finally move from this saddened mindset to one of moving forward?

Maybe it was the realization that you are worthy. That you are not lacking or wanting.

 

You simply realized that the suffering you were allowing yourself to sit with was not healing. You were in what I call a mind swamp. You let go of a past that was anchoring you in a place that was un-nurturing.

But now reflect on how long it took you to realize your worthiness and not remain in this mind-swamp? Was it hours, days, weeks, months, or perhaps even years?

As mindfulness practitioners we know that all things, including circumstances are impermanent. And this is an important understanding because it reveals to us that life is truly beautiful when we are aware of this impermanent quality.

 

So how may we move past our mind-swamp into someplace more nurturing?

We will look towards the Buddha for some of his insightful teachings.

One method he suggests as teaches is:

If some unskilled thoughts associated with desire, aversion or confusion arise and disturb the mind, you should attend instead to another characteristic  which is associated with what is skilled . . . It is like a skilled carpenter who can knock out a large peg with a small peg.

You simply replace the negative thought with one that is more wholesome and welcoming. This may sound simple but it can be hard because we like to hold on to what we're comfortable with, even if it's painful.  

The second method the Buddha suggests when dealing with disturbing thoughts is:

Scrutinize the peril of these unskilled thoughts by thinking: 'these are unskilled thoughts, these are thoughts that have errors, indeed these are thoughts that are of painful results . . . It is like a woman or a man, young and fond of adornment, who if the carcass of a snake or a dog were hanging around their neck would be revolted and disgusted and throw it away immediately as soon as they noticed it.

Here you recognize that these thoughts are harmful, have impacts, and will, without a doubt, perpetuate your suffering. When you are lost in your negative thoughts you will continue to justify them. Simply let them go. 

I would like to leave you with this about the power of your thoughts again from the Buddha:

The thought manifests as the word;

The word manifests as a deed;

The deed develops into habit

And habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care

And let it spring from love

Born out of concern for all beings.

Take time to reflect on these teachings and examples and see how best they may fit into your own lives.

I wish you all peace , ease, and wellbeing.

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Walking A Path Towards Liberation: A Mindfulness Journey

You wake up on a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun is shinning. The sky is a crisp blue. And the temperature outside is already inviting you to be outdoors. You decide it's going to be a splendid day, one that is not to be wasted indoors. After several moments reflecting on how to spend this wonderful day you finally decide on a picnic at a nearby park.

While you shower you go over menu items in which to bring as well as that novel you've been trying to finish. Today will be a perfect day.

You dress.

You collect the food items you decided on and head out to your car.

As you pass by some friendly neighbors who wish you a good morning your heart stops and your stomach tightens as you gaze to where you're sure you parked yesterday. 

Between the lines of your designated parking spot where your car should be is nothing but empty space.

Your car has been stolen.  

How will you get to work? How will you go to the grocery store? How will you do anything?

The upwelling of emotions, anger, despair, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty, begin to overwhelm your sense of placidity.

This is an example of your servitude to an inanimate object. A possession this is uncaring and unfeeling. 

You are not liberated.

So how may we find the liberation we seek? 

Where do we begin to look?

Liberation is not found in a book or written in a document somewhere. Although the path towards liberation may be described in these items, but they too are inanimate objects.

Liberation is achieved from one singular action, or the more appropriate term being 'non-action'. And that is 'letting go'.

Letting go is about learning how to respond instead of react and adjusting our current perspectives into one that is less self-centered.

Consider your stolen car example from above, you initially had the expectation that the car would be there when returned. Although that is a 'reasonable' expectation we know that as mindfulness practitioners that all things are impermanent, including cars in a parking spot. 

Next, after a few brief moments had elapsed we reacted to several strong catastrophizing emotions thus moving into the future with untimely concerns about getting to work and food shopping. Again, these are relevant concerns but we reacted instead of responded. 

And you reacted, and not responded, in such a manor because you are own by a possession. You are not liberated. A car doesn't care who owns it.

Another example of servitude and not liberation could be a work or political decision, regardless of how it personally applies to you. Most often though most decisions have little to no bearing on you but you chose to react instead of respond.  

Holding on to an idea as eternal is servitude and not liberation. Holding on to a concept as eternal is servitude and not liberation. Holding on to a notion as eternal is servitude and not liberation.

When we look at our mindset or daily activities we see them as 'set in stone' or we justify them as us being 'set in our ways'. This too is servitude and not liberation. We hold on to 'our ways' out of comfort mostly and not out of what truly benefits us...learning to let go. 

When we find ourself being resistant to something new (including the prospect of a stolen car) it's because we expect things to be static or stationary. That will never be the long-term dynamic. So learning to let go with mindful awareness and accepting that all things must pass. And then letting them pass when the situation presents itself, regardless of our personal views, with gratitude. 

And it is with gratitude for being in the present moment with what we do have, not what we don't have, is how we walk a path towards liberation. 

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

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Mindfulness For Father And Sons

As a male in our society, like many of us I suppose, I was encouraged, or more honestly, taught what it was to be a 'man'. That a 'man' behaves a certain way. He doesn't cry. Doesn't show too much joy or happiness, emotions are a sign of weakness. He's the bread winner of the home. He's the firm disciplinarian. His say is final. He is an avid sports fan. Drinks beer. He cursus. And when his sights are set on a woman he is unapologetically like a panther on a deer. 

With all of these 'male' expectations to live up to it's no wonder why there's so much disconnect with who we are on the inside. So much rage and insecurity pile on inside when what he has been taught doesn't come to fruition. Men may feel lost. Men may feel sadness welling inside, like every other human being, but continues to feel the societal pressure to 'be a man'.

This cultural conditioning is passed on to their sons.

Which in turn is passed onto their sons. 

Fortunately we are beginning to witness small signs of change in how fathers interact and warmly nurture their sons. For example, we can turn to social media platforms and see post, stories, and reels of fathers not only lovingly embracing their infant and young sons but pre-teen and teen sons as well. Decades ago, even without the ease of posting to social media, this type of care was not likely displayed at home yet alone in public and certainly not for the world to see.

So how do men change their 'tough' exterior to one of nurturing and care?

The very first realization to consider is that what anyone, both woman and men, sees in the mirror is merely a shell containing a consciousness. Your exterior does not 'define' who you are. In our religion until you have experienced enlightenment you will continuously be reincarnated, in other words same the consciousness (or being) as now but in different forms with each rebirth.

So no matter what form you currently inhabit the consciousness that is 'you' is capable of so much more than what is offered to you culturally based upon your sex, physique, or socio-economic status. 

As you sit there with or observe or reflect on your son, think back to the reason you decided to become a parent in the first place. Was it so he could be mean to others? Was it so he could be the best fighter in the neighborhood? Was it so he could sexually harass or dominate over women? Or could it have been you wanted him to beat up those who are weaker then he?

I would hope that none of the above were the reasons a man decided to enter parenthood. 

Instead we want our son to be kind, considerate, and loving towards others. 

When we reframe our perspective from one of the visual, physical, shallow, and ego driven, to one that is more encompassing, eternal, loving, warm, compassionate, empathetic, we are better able to support our sons to navigate healthily in the world in that they will inevitable enter.

So we too as fathers need to let go of ego. Ego is not mindful, aware, open, or compassionate. Ego is nothing more than a thin, frail shell used as a shield to continue doing harm to sons, ourselves, and others.  

As fathers we may best support our sons wellbeing by showing that we too are capable of warmth, support, compassion, love, and soft physical connection.

Using mindfulness as we reflect on ourselves and our sons we begin to understand perhaps the stern discipline and harsh punishments was very harmful to our mental wellbeing. But also using mindfulness we understand that we are not our past, we have the ability to shed our old skin in favor of a new skin. A new skin that is not full of ego, anger, jealousy, insincerity, and fear but instead one this is full of love, compassion, empathy, and gratitude for the the opportunity to shape and cultivate a well developed son.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Brightening Someone Else's Inner Light

Everyone has their own journey to walk, their own experiences to meet, their own decisions to make, their own actions to be responsible for, their own steps to take on their path. No matter what someone else encounters on their path it is not our path to walk or our decision to make. The experience is solely that individuals. 

But that doesn't mean when someone experiences times of great suffering we can't be there with them. There is no possibility that we may eliminate their suffering, we are not them, but that doesn't mean we cannot help ease their suffering. In fact, one of the most important acts a person may do for another is to demonstrate kindness. A smile. A kind word. Listening attentively. Even simply acknowledging some ones existence. These are all simple acts of kindness.

The Buddha states that in order to realize enlightenment one must have wisdom and compassion, much like two wings on a bird. Demonstrating compassion towards another not only helps to ease their suffering but also cultivates compassion and empathy within. What greater good may there be? 

Although we may never eliminate suffering in the world, we still make an effort. And it is this kind intention, the hopeful seed within, that we care for and nurture. 

People feel sad or get depressed when they experience overwhelming suffering. Feelings of hopelessness or despair begin to root within the mind and if watered depression may begin to set in.

So how do we brighten someone else's inner light? Before I offer some suggestions let's look at the primary cause of a defeated spirit, future living or expectations. 

Let's consider the following example: your best friend has worked very hard at her company for several years, always show up to work and her work is high quality. Maybe she even gets yearly performance raises. The company posts a new management position and she feels she's ideal for. You both practice interviewing techniques. She interviews and all goes well only to find out that someone junior to her was offered the position. She relates to you that she feels defeated and wonder why she's worked so hard for a company only to be rejected.

As a mindfulness practitioner you examine her feelings nonjudgmentally and realize that her suffering comes from the expectation of a particular event outcome. The expectation, or assumption, was that she would get a promotion based on past performance, she was living in the future. Living in the future is not living in the present moment. Nor is living in the past. Living in the past or living in the future diminishes the inner light. 

So how may we help our dear friend? Here are some nurturing suggestions:

• We listen without judgment to what they say.

• We acknowledge without judgment their feelings but we do not offer advice or suggestions on what to do next time, instead only acknowledge their circumstances.

• Without judgment, we let them know that all things in life are impermanent.

• Remind them that oftentimes not getting what you want is the best that could happen.

• Let it go with grace. Holding on to the past increases suffering.    

Remember, we each are on our own path and no matter what we do we may never eliminate another's suffering, but we can ease it a bit, thus helping them walk with awareness.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Mindfulness and Your Smoke Detector

Chirp…Chirp…Chirp…Chirp…

Most of us are familiar with that little chirping sound from the smoke detector in our homes reminding us that it’s time to change the battery.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…chirp…

We hear it and think to ourselves, ‘I’ll replace the battery as soon as I get up’ 

But we don’t.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…chirp…

Ok, I’ll replace you as soon as this TV show is over…

But we don’t.

Chirp…chirp…chirp…chirp…

Ok Mr. Smoke detector I hear you, I’ll meet your needs as soon as I finish eating.

Does this scenario sound familiar?

A smoke detector is an important sensor that not only warns of a fire in our home, but it saves lives.

Our bodies are very similar to a smoke detector in that it will let you know when something is wrong. When we are ill, we might get a fever, chills, and body aches. When we touch a hot pan or skillet, we receive pain signals telling us to let go. In these two examples people will certainly take medicine or release the pan.

But there are several signals our bodies sendoff that we tend to ignore or minimize. Headaches, muscle tension, anxiety, fatigue, and more are typical signs of stress. It is these important signals we tend to ignore…chirp…chirp…chirp…

But why do we ignore our bodies in such a way that is harmful to our wellbeing?

I’d say there are two main reasons behind this neglect: societal constructs and ego.

In the world we live in we have been conditioned that if you aren’t working 40+ hours a week, on your own after your 18^th birthday, married, kids, cars, mortgage…the list is almost endless, you’re not productive. Work. Produce. Consume. Work. Produce. Consume. 

We often hear the comparison that our body is a machine. It’s not. If you lose an arm in an accident, it cannot be replaced. You are a biological organism with a set of parameters we need to be in to maintain our health.

Society puts a lot of pressure to put on a person and it’s unrealistic and quite frankly, not everyone wants all these check boxes marked off. But even for those people they will still get asked why haven’t you X or when will you to Z. The very posing of these questions, as innocuous, as they may seem, are a source of stress and anxiety.

Ego is certainly a large source of stress and anxiety. Suppose you are one of the check box fillers, those are a lot of boxes to mark off in a certain amount of time. Ego will make you think you are in competition with someone else. You’re not in competition. Ego will make you think you’re less if you don’t accomplish one by a certain time. You’re not less. Ego will have you concerned with, and striving to live up to, what others think of you. Why? They’re not you.

Chirp…

When the signs of stress make themselves known, and they certainly will, it’s important to love yourself and to listen attentively to what your body is telling you.

Mindfulness and meditation is a wonderful and nurturing way to bring back balance and harmony to an unbalanced and harmonious lifestyle. Mindfulness and meditation help to cultivate a healthy perspective about life. What’s important and what’s not. What can you control and what you cannot. What to hold on to and when to let it go. 

Mindfulness and meditation won’t alleviate your budget report due at the end of the day. Mindfulness and meditation won’t shorten the time of your commute to work. Mindfulness and meditation won’t necessarily change your boss’s attitude.

But mindfulness and meditation will allow you to have a healthier relationship with your mind and body and with those around you.

To make an analogy, mindfulness and meditation is like changing that chirping smoke detector battery.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more ways to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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Brighten Your Inner Light

If you’ve ever had the opportunity to watch children play you’ll notice they’re full of laughter, joy, compassion, and love. 

They find amazement with so much of what adults consider the

mundane, the routine, the boring. From a Ladybug walking on a blade of grass, a caterpillar inching its way up a tree, or even a stick laying on the ground. Everything is bright and warm.

They are filled with an inner light.

But what makes your adult life qualitatively different from when you were a child? Where did the curiosity you once had go? When did the days of your life begin to blend into one another without much distinction?

Very often we are bombarded with negativity, hourly, daily, weekly…moment by moment.

 

Whether it’s some form of political news, an unexpected bill or expense, a vehicle accident, a wildfire or natural disaster, or a violent altercation between human beings. Or even your daily routine. 

All of these events, when taken collectively, can diminish the light you have inside. They can make you cynical, uncaring, and unfortunately disconnected from others and ourselves.

That same inner light that you witness in children is still within you. But like any flame that is suffocating or lacking oxygen it gets smaller and smaller never quite extinguished but flickering on the brink.

So how may we bring back the ever important light inside us?

We cannot control much on the outside like natural disasters, political decisions, or accidents but we do have control over our daily mindset and activities.

And very often our typical daily activities, our routine if you will, is the reason our light begins to flicker. And our routine starts right when we wake up.

 

Perhaps when your alarm goes off you think, wow, I need to go back to work, a place I don’t like’.

Instead, reframe, try a more positive perspective, like wow, I woke up this morning. And today, I will walk with peace and spread joy and goodwill to all I meet. 

Morning gratitude is a wonderful way to introduce nurturing oxygen into your new day and into your inner light.

Now that you’re awake it is time for breakfast. Skip the sugary cereals, donuts, toast, bagels, or even worse fast food breakfast. You are what you consume.

 

Instead, cook. Dice peppers, chop onions, and slice carrots for your omelet if you choose. Or maybe some hard boiled eggs and fresh fruit and vegetables. 

Try not to use the reasoning of ‘I’m not hungry’ or 'I'm not a breakfast eater’ or 'I don't have the time in the morning. These are mindsets that suffocate your inner light. Instead, use this as a wonderful opportunity to practice mindful cooking. Become engaged with what the earth has so lovingly provided for you.

 

When you arrive at work or school, remember, everyone, teachers, coworkers, other students, supervisors, are all doing their best just like you. And just like you, they will have difficult days too, even though they won’t express it, just like you might not. If someone is short with you or is argumentative, instead of replying with anger or bruised ego, offer them a smile. They are suffering inside and a warm friendly smile is often what this person needs. Compassion and not more suffering. 

Compassion is a wonderful source of oxygen for your inner light - as well as for theirs.

When it’s time for lunch, are you reheating leftover pizza from a box? Maybe you’re going to the drive through for a bland fast food meal.

Food that has no color to it, bread or fried food, does not spark joy as Marie Kondo would say.

How could it, it’s not visually stimulating nor is it healthy. Heavily breaded food or food that is friend weighs you down. 

This part of your day really begins the night before or perhaps while making breakfast. It takes mindful effort and thought to prepare. Preparing food connects you to what you’re about to ingest or unite with your being. The smells, the texture, the vibrant colors, and the crisp sounds of cutting firm and nutritious foods.

Making your lunch visually appealing and well as wholesome breaths oxygen to your inner light right in the middle of your day.

After your day has ended or perhaps it’s a weekend, play. You may not bring out your old toys and dolls like a child but engage your mind in something creative. Paint. Take pictures. Write. Draw. Scrapbook. Bake or cook something new.

Creativity keeps the mind engaged in a way that is exploratory. And when you’re exploring, you’re engaged. And when you're engaged oxygen is being diverted from areas of stagnation to the light that is within you.

 

Another way to increase that oxygen to your inner light is to get outside. It doesn't even need to be a forest or lake but even a city street will do. Cities have cats, birds, dogs, and insects. Just observe and make it a point to take a few moments to watch the bird fly. Open your curiosity from oh, it’s just a bird to I wonder where it’s going. Is it looking for water or food? Is it flying back to its nest?

Throughout your day do good for others without any expectation of reciprocity. There is no good deed that is too small. In fact, as with most things in life, it's the small things that offer the greatest joy.

Your inner light has been hidden by years if not decades of routine, fear, anxiety, societal pressures and constructs. A light may only shine as bright as the flow of oxygen to the wick.

To change the flow you must change your mindset to one of love and empathy and non judgment towards yourself. Only then will you begin to brighten your inner light.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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The Real World: A Mindful Perspective

I remember growing up as a child my parents, teachers, and other adult authority figures telling us how easy we have and to 'just wait until you get into the real world'. At my age I've been in the 'real world' for quite some time and have seen and experienced a lot. 

After graduating high school, enlisting in the Marines, married, children, university, career...well several careers at this point, only to arrive at where I am at this moment. And after all I've seen, done, gained, lost, laughed, cried, loved, disagreed with, learned, forgotten, and relearned, I came to realization that the 'real' world is entirely perspective. 

As I look back with mindful reflection I've realized that each moment of my life, from birth to this present moment has been the real world. 

Each perceived moment of my real world was been based on my experiences and then perceiving those experiences based on how I thought they should be, not how they were. My perceptions were biased with cravings and desires. So in essence each moment of my childhood was my real world. Each moment of my adolescence was my real world. Each moment of my adult life was my real world.

At each stage of my life I was living my real world. Not my teachers, not my parents, not my friends, nor your real world. This realization was not truly unveiled to me until I had been a mindfulness practitioner for at least several months.

So how does the 'real' world affect our decisions and actions.

Consider this - rain.

Rain is simply rain. It is soothing, nurturing, and certainly essential for life. 

Not too far from where are meditation center is located in the south, they are experiencing a moderate drought. Not too alarming at this time but still something to be mindful of.

So when any rain does occur, farmers are joyful that their crops, for which they depend on to live, are receiving this nurturing event. 

But now consider a happy couple who have planned for months of a spectacular outdoor wedding and reception. If by chance you've ever planned a wedding some may be very extravagant but all are prepared with care and love.

When this very same rain event occurs those involved with the planning, especially the bride and groom on their special day, are saddened. They feel all of this planning has now been washed away with the rain.

So what was the difference between the two parties? Perspective resulting form cravings and desires. One is a joyful and welcome event while the other was 'disastrous'. Regardless of perspective we can mindfully look at this, the rain is out of our control. 

Our perspective shaped our real world. And very often without sincere reflection of events people tend to shape their real world negatively. Now, this bride and groom may never plan an outdoor event due to even the possibility of rain. And this negative view point can be carried on to many people they encounter. Their experience shaped their 'real' world.

So at this time I warmly invite you to offer some other examples in the comments below where experiences shape some ones 'real' world perception.

And with that my friends I wish you all peace and ease,

Vladimir

You are warmly invited to follow on us on Facebook and Instagram @bluelotuscenter for more way to improve your mindfulness practice and wellbeing.

Blue Lotus Meditation and Mindfulness Center is a registered 501(c)(3) religious organization.

Website and monthly newsletter: www.bluelotusmeditation.us

For guided meditations and Dharma talks, please visit and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

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